Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 509421

Shown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

I wish I could take it back

Posted by JLynn on June 7, 2005, at 21:53:05

I have a hard time talking about things with my T. So today I wrote out how I was feeling about getting close and how it scares me. This is something I could never say to her in person. I've only recently opened up about some things I've never told anyone and it has made me feel close to her. I wrote how part of me wants to run and another part wants to beg her not to leave me. I took went to her office and gave it to her today. Now I am feeling really stupid and I wish I could take it back. I'm sure she has read it by now and I'm dreading my session Thursday. I need a "do-over" :-(

 

Re: I wish I could take it back JLynn

Posted by Jazzed on June 7, 2005, at 22:54:56

In reply to I wish I could take it back, posted by JLynn on June 7, 2005, at 21:53:05

Oh gosh, don't you just hate that feeling?! Thursday won't get here soon enough I bet! Or do you dread thinking about the next face to face? I guess this is what it's all about though, and good that you could open up, that's very brave. I hope you are rewarded for your honesty. Be sure to let us know how it comes out.

Jazzy

 

Re: I wish I could take it back JLynn

Posted by Shortelise on June 8, 2005, at 1:05:28

In reply to I wish I could take it back, posted by JLynn on June 7, 2005, at 21:53:05

When I do things like that with my T, and wish I could "do over", it always, always turns out that what happened was a good thing. My T turns out each time to be worthy of trust. I don't know how he does it.

It's sure hard though, not knowing, and having the feeling that I'll be there in my underwear - emotionally, that is.

(((Jlynn)))

ShortE

 

Re: I wish I could take it back JLynn

Posted by Dinah on June 8, 2005, at 5:22:06

In reply to I wish I could take it back, posted by JLynn on June 7, 2005, at 21:53:05

My experience ahs been the same as ShortE. Those usually turn out to be really great sessions. But I understand the anxiety between now and then.

 

Re: I wish I could take it back JLynn

Posted by bent on June 8, 2005, at 7:39:52

In reply to I wish I could take it back, posted by JLynn on June 7, 2005, at 21:53:05

Please dont feel stupid. What you did was very brave and maybe very neccessary. Writing has been the only was I can tell my T about my feelings towards her. I too have recently felt much closer to my T as I am going through a rough time right now. I feel more needy and clingy and I hate it. I wrote her a letter two weeks ago (which i read to her during the session) and i explained this. I wrote that it felt like we were both on opposite ends of a rope and i was pulling so hard as if daring her to let go but all the while begging her not to. We talked about it and how I was testing her. I wanted to see if i was too much for her. If she was going to give up on me and "let go of the rope". I dont think she will and i hope you can get similar reassurance from your T. I encourage you to talk about it. I think you will feel better if you do. Maybe try writing some stuff down and reading it to her? But again, dont feel stupid and try not to dread the appointment. I know its hard but you are on your way to feeling better.

 

Re: I wish I could take it back JLynn

Posted by pinkeye on June 8, 2005, at 19:05:42

In reply to I wish I could take it back, posted by JLynn on June 7, 2005, at 21:53:05

I am sure it would be ok. If you want, ask her to not mention the post to you, so you won't feel bad. Therapists know this kind of ambivalence a lot - wanting to get close, wanting to pull away, dying to get help - struggling to resist, working to get better - resisting it to the core etc.

They know all these things. And you did the right thing. Don't worry about it.


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