Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 501142

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Arousal in therapy

Posted by Dinah on May 22, 2005, at 9:07:21

Well, that was an important tangential component of my discussion with my therapist Friday.

My concern was whether my rate of arousal was too frequent. Another time when a femaile therapist would have been handy. I think arousal is absolutely no big deal at all, because it happens all the time. The computer vibrations go down to the floor and vibrate my chair. Warm baths. Clothes that feel nice. Having to go to the bathroom. And to the point of therapy, anxiety. So I do get aroused in therapy, because I get anxious. But I also get aroused in many other situations where I get anxious. So I tend to not pay too much attention to it, other than to note its existence and move on because it's a rare day it doesn't happen several times.

Thankfully, my therapist didn't take it at all personally. He agreed with the reasons I gave and added the intimacy of the therapy situation. That the intimacy could bring on feelings of arousal that weren't necessarily directed at anyone in particular, but from the situation. I tend to think it comes more from anxiety in my case. Or possibly the subject matter lately.

He thinks that I'm probably on the high side of normal, but that that is in keeping with my general nervous system sensitivity. Along the lines of feeling overstimulated. And as he noted, I'm verrry sensitive to all sorts of stimuli.

It was nice to get it out into the open. It gave him a better view of the phsyicological nature of my illness (it gets really bad when I'm hypomanic and he found that informative). And I don't have to worry that if he notices any involuntary signals, he'll get freaked out or take it personally. Instead he can probe for anxiety or feelings of intimacy. Because I don't find him sexually attractive, and it would be awkward if he thought I did.

Moreover, he threw in some assurances that if a hypothetical client should be aroused by him, that wouldn't freak him out either. It wasn't necessary, but he's thoughtful that way.

On the other hand, he's not the least diplomatic. We were discussing my mother, and he was concurring with my assessment that she was no less genetically predisposed to a psychotic break than my aunts or cousins, she just didn't have the same life stressors. And I was telling him how scared that made me, as if I were standing on a fault line, because I was afraid I had inherited that.

Did he reassure me or tell me that he didn't think I inherited the predisposition? No! He congratulated me on taking as good care of myself as I can so that life stressors wouldn't overwhelm me. :) I feel muuuuch better now. lol.

And 10derheart, nothing succinct about this post, was there? :)

 

Re: Arousal in therapy Ľ Dinah

Posted by Shortelise on May 22, 2005, at 12:53:51

In reply to Arousal in therapy, posted by Dinah on May 22, 2005, at 9:07:21

You amaze me - you are so ... honest. I admire you.

ShortE

 

Re: Arousal in therapy Ľ Dinah

Posted by Tamar on May 22, 2005, at 16:07:36

In reply to Arousal in therapy, posted by Dinah on May 22, 2005, at 9:07:21

I sometimes wonder if I get aroused more than average, and whether itís too much (weíre talking sexual arousal, yes?).

I know it happens more on some days than others, and it seems to be partly dictated by hormonal changes. I definitely get more aroused before and during my period than at other times. When I was pregnant it was basically nine months of constant horninessÖ which was very distracting at times! And I was doing therapy while I was pregnant, so I was aroused in therapy quite a bit. In fact, I was very attracted to my therapist (and with good reason; heís a very attractive man!) and I was sure he could probably tell.

I remember one session in particular, in which we talked fairly generally about feelings of desire, and I will admit that by the time I came home I definitely needed a cold shower (but instead of taking a shower, I thought of something more interesting to doÖ)

But in any case, how much is too much? Being aroused doesnít do anyone any harm and itís much more pleasant to accept it and enjoy it than to try to shut it down.

I think there are good reasons why feelings of physical (non sexual) arousal, like anxiety, can prompt feelings of sexual arousal. I guess itís a survival instinct: danger seems to signal the importance of procreation.

And also, itís perfectly possible to feel aroused in the company of someone you donít want to be sexually intimate with, like your therapist. I suppose one question Iíd ask is how you might feel if he too became aroused, for example if it happened in response to your arousal. You might notice it, since youíre very sensitive to emotional atmosphere. Would it ick you out? I know heís a eunuch and all, but even soÖ

It seems clear to me that thereís a difference between experiencing physiological sexual arousal and having a desire for sexual contact, so I guess arousal in therapy doesnít need to be a big deal. I suppose difficulties can arise if you feel physiologically aroused but distressed about the circumstances in which it happens. I think itís great that you can talk to your therapist about it, and that heís thoughtful and sensitive about it.

Iíve come to the conclusion recently that itís quite a nice thing to be aroused a lot. I used to feel quite guilty and uncomfortable about it but more recently Iíve been trying to relax and enjoy it. Much more fun Ė even in therapy!

 

Re: Arousal in therapy Ľ Dinah

Posted by pinkeye on May 22, 2005, at 18:00:35

In reply to Arousal in therapy, posted by Dinah on May 22, 2005, at 9:07:21

I am glad you are able to talk about it freely with your T.

Also I have a question.. didn't you say you don't see yourself as sexual at all before? So does this mean that is beginning to change? I am wondering if it is just a healing that is occurring.. since you have said in the past you had lots of difficulties in sexual relationship with your husband.

 

Re: Arousal in therapy Ľ pinkeye

Posted by Dinah on May 22, 2005, at 18:22:45

In reply to Re: Arousal in therapy Ľ Dinah, posted by pinkeye on May 22, 2005, at 18:00:35

No, I have no problem with sex. I just don't like other people involved in it. :)

That led to a fight with my therapist once, years ago. He suggested Lonnie Barbach's book "For Yourself: The Fulfillment of Female Sexuality", and after I read it I figured he hadn't been listening to me at all as I relayed this sensitive information. I told him I have no problem with "For Yourself". I needed help with "With Others".

 

Re: Arousal in therapy Ľ Shortelise

Posted by Dinah on May 22, 2005, at 18:24:07

In reply to Re: Arousal in therapy Ľ Dinah, posted by Shortelise on May 22, 2005, at 12:53:51

I think it's because it means absolutely nothing to me. I totally divorce the physiology from any emotion. So it's no bigger deal than sneezing.

 

Re: Arousal in therapy Ľ Tamar

Posted by Dinah on May 22, 2005, at 18:27:06

In reply to Re: Arousal in therapy Ľ Dinah, posted by Tamar on May 22, 2005, at 16:07:36

:) I agree completely. It's just a natural response. I'm glad I'm not alone in a) my responses and b) my thoughts on it.

But eeeek! My therapist can't feel it. Because that would mean he saw me as a - gasp!!! - woman! And that just can't be!!! No!!!!

Fortunately, he's a eunuch. And so he would never have such a reaction in therapy, even if it weren't directed at me, but just the situation. He meant *other* people. ;)

 

Re: Arousal in therapy Ľ Dinah

Posted by pinkeye on May 22, 2005, at 18:27:51

In reply to Re: Arousal in therapy Ľ pinkeye, posted by Dinah on May 22, 2005, at 18:22:45

I see. I don't know too much about it to comment further, but I hope you do find the right help.

 

Re: Arousal in therapy Ľ Dinah

Posted by pinkeye on May 22, 2005, at 18:28:48

In reply to Re: Arousal in therapy Ľ Tamar, posted by Dinah on May 22, 2005, at 18:27:06

Do you mean your therapist is an eunuch seriously?? Or is it just a joke??

 

Re: Arousal in therapy

Posted by anastasia56 on May 22, 2005, at 18:39:28

In reply to Re: Arousal in therapy Ľ Dinah, posted by pinkeye on May 22, 2005, at 18:28:48

that was interesting that you said anxiety can bring on arousal. I never knew that and for years i have felt guilty about a very anxiety producing situation that aroused me. I thought i was abnormal for feeling that way.

ana

 

Re: Arousal in therapy Ľ pinkeye

Posted by Dinah on May 22, 2005, at 18:58:49

In reply to Re: Arousal in therapy Ľ Dinah, posted by pinkeye on May 22, 2005, at 18:28:48

It's a very old Babble joke. Years ago when he told me he was getting married, apparently the thought of marriage made me aware of his sexuality or something. Because I had a dream that his fiancee told me he was a eunuch. I had called and spoken to him on the phone the week I told him about the dream, and had added a quarter hour on to his check. When he protested that he didn't think it amounted to a quarter hour, I told him it was the least I could do since I turned him into a eunuch. lol.

I *think* he thought it was funny, although the whole time period was disconcerting for both of us. Thank heavens I was reading "In Session" at the time, and could figure out what I *wasn't* feeling.

 

Re: Arousal in therapy Ľ pinkeye

Posted by Dinah on May 22, 2005, at 19:00:06

In reply to Re: Arousal in therapy Ľ Dinah, posted by pinkeye on May 22, 2005, at 18:27:51

:-)

I'm not sure I want help. I'm reasonably happy the way I am. I don't want to...

Oh well, it's a long story.

 

Re: Arousal in therapy Ľ anastasia56

Posted by Dinah on May 22, 2005, at 19:02:19

In reply to Re: Arousal in therapy, posted by anastasia56 on May 22, 2005, at 18:39:28

I can reassure you without the least bit of doubt there. I think it's a pretty well known link. Something about adrenaline maybe? Or blood flow?

When I started doing breathing and relaxation exercises when I was having panic attacks, the results were interesting to say the least.

 

One reason I wanted to post this

Posted by Dinah on May 22, 2005, at 19:06:49

In reply to Re: Arousal in therapy Ľ anastasia56, posted by Dinah on May 22, 2005, at 19:02:19

Was to reassure those who maybe thought it wasn't seemly to be aroused during a session. Or that it meant something embarassing. Because my therapist validated my long held belief that there was nothing out of the ordinary or to be ashamed of in it. And he, even with his monumental ego, didn't think it was anything personal.

The other reason was to find out if I'm a freak. I mean, my therapist said I wasn't. That the average person got aroused several times a day (other than him of course), and that I might be high end normal, but I wasn't a freak. But what does he know?

 

Re: One reason I wanted to post this

Posted by daisym on May 22, 2005, at 19:38:04

In reply to One reason I wanted to post this, posted by Dinah on May 22, 2005, at 19:06:49

For me, I need to separate the word "normal" and "acceptable or OK."

I think what is unacceptable to me, for myself, is the link between feeling certain sensations in my body and the realization that they might be linked to your therapist - man or woman. You said you've divorced physiology from your emotions. But if one hasn't, it gets confusing and tricky. And if you've had a history of mixed up sex and love, or sex was linked to being close to someone, someone you *knew* you weren't supposed to have sex with, I think it is even trickier. Add in that some of us feel like our bodies betrayed us because there was pleasure intertwined with terror...normal or not, those feelings cause panic, with a capital P!

I think it depends on which question you are asking. Is frequent arousal normal? Probably with some people and not others, like you said. Is arousal in therapy normal? Again, probably for some people and not for others. Is wanting to be close to your therapist normal? Sure, for most of us. Is wanting to be special to your therapist normal? The books tell us it is.

So what happens when you put all these things together? If I want to be close to my therapist and I want to be special to him, AND I feel a certain arousal during therapy, how can I not conclude that I want to have sex with him? My mind might say no, but what if my body is saying yes? And I don't trust my body, so I end up playing head games with myself -- like, maybe it is too scary to admit that you want to have sex...

Can you tell I've talked myself in and around this circle incessantly?

So, I might agree that it is normal, perhaps inevitable to be aroused by the anxiety or body memories during therapy sessions. But I'm not OK with it happening, especially if it is linked to my therapist. I want more control of my body than that. It scares me half to death!

(And yes, my therapist said it is OK and normal and safe and all the other right things, and that he wants to hear about it, etc. etc. But still, IT IS SOOO EMBARRASSING to talk about...)

 

Re: One reason I wanted to post this Ľ daisym

Posted by Dinah on May 22, 2005, at 19:59:57

In reply to Re: One reason I wanted to post this, posted by daisym on May 22, 2005, at 19:38:04

I'm sorry, Daisy. :(

I don't mean to minimize it.

If something happens, I give myself permission for it to happen. That way I retain the illusion of control.

I tend to be too pragmatic at times, and I hope it doesn't hurt others. I'd never want it to hurt you.

Maybe understanding the link between specific triggers and the results is the key? I'm very aware of the link between anxiety and arousal. Contrary to what my therapist says, I never remember feeling it when I'm feeling intimacy.

 

Re: One reason I wanted to post this Ľ Dinah

Posted by JenStar on May 22, 2005, at 20:26:14

In reply to One reason I wanted to post this, posted by Dinah on May 22, 2005, at 19:06:49

I think you're very brave to post about this!

And I think the "normal" aspect of arousal, no matter how many times you do/don't get aronsed, is what you do with those feelings. It's normal to explore, analyze and then accept them in your situation. That is seemly. It would NOT be "seemly" if you jumped onto his lap every time and demanded a big wet kiss! (I'm guessing this has never happened.)

I think there are normal ways of handling arousal in our society, and that is more important than how many times you become aroused. And being on the high end of normal is pretty cool. It's a nice feeling, being aroused, right? Much better than being on the high end of migraine headaches, or leg cramps, or acne, or something. :)

Again, thanks for being brave enough to share this with us.

It's interesting to me that you feel aroused often, but are not all that interested in sex itself. Is that something you've discussed with the T? (sorry if this is too personal to ask.) It seems that there might be interesting analysis work there.

JenStar

 

Re: One reason I wanted to post this Ľ JenStar

Posted by Dinah on May 22, 2005, at 21:19:59

In reply to Re: One reason I wanted to post this Ľ Dinah, posted by JenStar on May 22, 2005, at 20:26:14

A big wet kiss?

Shudder. Shudder.

Ooooooh. Iiiiccckkk.

Am I the only person in the world that would rather... Well, never mind.

I don't generally do anything at all with the sensations.

But I'm guessing from the responses that my experience might exceed the high end of normal. :( Oh dear. My therapist was just trying to make me feel better. :((

Oh well. I exceed the high end of normal on migraines and IBS and nerves as well.

I've noticed on Psychological Babble that people seem to be oriented to experiential causes of trouble in the same way that the medication board seems to be oriented to physical causes. I think I'm a bit out of step with that. I see my problem as a jumble of frayed wires and poor circuit design. A short waiting to happen. And until they find the way to fix the wiring, this old house just needs extra special care, in the form of therapy and stability in lifestyle and low stress choices. Maybe that's why I'm in the distinct minority of thinking that, for me, therapy is forever. That if I manage to live through the loss of my therapist, I'll have to find another one to provide the same function. Hmmmm... house wiring analogy. Some sort of safety thingy. I'm not mechanical. Because there is something physically wrong. Down to the migraines, the IBS, the overstimulation, the meltdowns, the extreme end of arousal, and so on. I can't be totally fixed. I need maintenance until they find a way to fix the cholinergic system without major side effects.

But I was probably useful to the tribe in detecting danger, so they protected me and made sure I survived.

 

Re: One reason I wanted to post this Ľ Dinah

Posted by daisym on May 22, 2005, at 22:14:12

In reply to Re: One reason I wanted to post this Ľ JenStar, posted by Dinah on May 22, 2005, at 21:19:59

Dinah,

You didn't hurt me. Really. I didn't take it personal. It is an important subject. My analytical brain understands the cause and effect. It is my younger sides that are all screaming that the body response is just, well, wrong! An old tape, I'm sure.

I think you have a very clear understanding of yourself and how you work. It sounds exactly right that if you are ultra sensitive to so many things that you would be sensitive to arousal as well. I don't think your therapist was just trying to make you feel better. I think for you this is perfectly normal. Normal is a stupid word anyway -- what is "typical" for you is what is important. Changes to each person's typical is what alerts us to pay attention.

And I think you are also right that on this board we tend to look at things as if we can control our responses (or should?) -- instead of it being "just" a physiological thing. I think that is why I struggled so much with starting medication. In my heart of hearts I still think I shouldn't need them -- but I think it is perfectly fine for others to take them, necessary even! Go figure...

I definately think I'm talking about how I might feel about my therapist and you are talking about a physical sensation. Very different things! I can see that, I just can't unlink things for myself.

I know I'm making it harder than it needs to be. I just can't figure out how to accept that this is coming up for me right now.

I feel like I'm not making any sense...

 

Re: One reason I wanted to post this Ľ daisym

Posted by Dinah on May 22, 2005, at 22:22:39

In reply to Re: One reason I wanted to post this Ľ Dinah, posted by daisym on May 22, 2005, at 22:14:12

Goodness, no. You're making perfect sense. If i ever felt that i was attracted sexually to my therapist, i'd be horrified. Because being sexually attracted is ok for women, but i'm not a woman. And it would be wrong and icky.

And if he were ever aroused in a session, even just because he was anxious, i'd need to take a bath for a year and a half because i'd never be able to believe he didn't think i was a woman.

Thank God I'm ugly.

I do understand.

I just have the sensations separated from any real meaning, because for me they have no real meaning.

But... It'd be ok with my therapist if they did. In fact, I still think he'd consider it progress if I was sexually attracted to anyone, even him.

I still think that sexual feelings (as opposed to sensations) in therapy may be linked somehow to feelings of safety to explore all parts of us. I think they're probably very therapeutic. But have the potential to be painful.

 

Re: One reason I wanted to post this Ľ Dinah

Posted by daisym on May 22, 2005, at 22:37:08

In reply to Re: One reason I wanted to post this Ľ daisym, posted by Dinah on May 22, 2005, at 22:22:39

Exactly. I think there is huge potential for pain if this is explored. On the surface he says that I've learned to connect being close to having sex. And I've let him be close to me. So he said it is perfectly understandable that I would begin to get these sensations (not conscious feelings) when I'm close to him.

I have to figure this out before it wrecks my therapy. I've stewed about it all weekend. I'm back and forth between "no big deal" -- like you said, it happens a lot -- to "oh my God, how could I, of all people, feel like this?!"

I wish I was aroused more often and more easily. It wouldn't freak me out now as much, if this was typical for me. It just isn't.

 

Re: One reason I wanted to post this Ľ daisym

Posted by Dinah on May 22, 2005, at 22:44:33

In reply to Re: One reason I wanted to post this Ľ Dinah, posted by daisym on May 22, 2005, at 22:37:08

Well, you're doing what you need to do to get through this.

Talking it to death until it totally loses whatever power, meaning, and purpose it once had.

Or at least that's how I deal with things. :)

One day you'll be able to think of sexual feelings and yawn.

(I hope you understand what I mean by this. Otherwise I think my post could come across way wrong. It's one of the reasons I go to therapy. Because doing that always does help me.)

 

Re: One reason I wanted to post this Ľ Dinah

Posted by Tamar on May 23, 2005, at 7:46:07

In reply to Re: One reason I wanted to post this Ľ daisym, posted by Dinah on May 22, 2005, at 22:22:39

> Goodness, no. You're making perfect sense. If i ever felt that i was attracted sexually to my therapist, i'd be horrified. Because being sexually attracted is ok for women, but i'm not a woman. And it would be wrong and icky.

Maybe you donít need to worry. You probably wonít feel attracted to him as long as you arenít a woman. If someday you become a woman, you might experience sexual attraction, but it might feel OK if you were a woman. And you might not feel attracted to *him*, especially if heís not your type. And anyway, people donít become women overnight... it takes most people a few years, at least! It takes time for the ickiness to be transformed into something more like desire.

> And if he were ever aroused in a session, even just because he was anxious, i'd need to take a bath for a year and a half because i'd never be able to believe he didn't think i was a woman.

Is it possible that itís not about you? I mean, he could get physically aroused just because of the subject matter or whatever, without actually thinking of you as a woman. Iím pretty sure itís normal for everyone to have physiological feelings of arousal without the emotional feelings of desire for someone. So he could experience arousal in your presence without it having anything to do with you.

> I just have the sensations separated from any real meaning, because for me they have no real meaning.

I really think thatís true for everyone to some extent. Often thereís no real meaning. Itís just that for you it seems as if you thereís pretty much never a connection between arousal and desire.

> But... It'd be ok with my therapist if they did. In fact, I still think he'd consider it progress if I was sexually attracted to anyone, even him.

Do you ever find *yourself* sexually attractive? I mean, I know itís possible to enjoy erotic feelings while alone without really thinking about appearance, but do you like to look at yourself? (Donít answer if itís too personal.) I must admit, sometimes I like to look at myself, but other times I just donít want to.

> I still think that sexual feelings (as opposed to sensations) in therapy may be linked somehow to feelings of safety to explore all parts of us. I think they're probably very therapeutic. But have the potential to be painful.

Oh yes! And maybe thatís true of the sensations too. I suppose the sensations are very basic, but they can probably be therapeutic if they occur in a safe space. If arousal occurs because of anxiety but can be welcomed into a safe space, then perhaps it signals the possibility of arousal being associated with comfort. In a way, your therapist would be the idea person with whom to enjoy arousal-without-desire. Iím thinking of your suckling pup image. Apparently, small babies experience physiological arousal while breastfeeding... Maybe it could feel something like that.

Or maybe Iím off the mark. But I love the idea of therapy being a safe place to feel aroused.

 

Re: One reason I wanted to post this Ľ Tamar

Posted by Dinah on May 23, 2005, at 10:14:23

In reply to Re: One reason I wanted to post this Ľ Dinah, posted by Tamar on May 23, 2005, at 7:46:07

Tamar, you are never off the mark. I hate to sound like a groupie or anything, but I really wish you were coming to the party. :) I'd love to get to know you better; you have such a fascinating combination of wisdom, practical sense, and sensitivity. My therapist really loves your posts.

> > Goodness, no. You're making perfect sense. If i ever felt that i was attracted sexually to my therapist, i'd be horrified. Because being sexually attracted is ok for women, but i'm not a woman. And it would be wrong and icky.
>
> Maybe you donít need to worry. You probably wonít feel attracted to him as long as you arenít a woman. If someday you become a woman, you might experience sexual attraction, but it might feel OK if you were a woman. And you might not feel attracted to *him*, especially if heís not your type. And anyway, people donít become women overnight... it takes most people a few years, at least! It takes time for the ickiness to be transformed into something more like desire.
>
Thank you for understanding, Tamar. It would take years and years and years and years, and he's not my type. Besides by then he'd be really really old. Too old for a brand new woman. :)

> > And if he were ever aroused in a session, even just because he was anxious, i'd need to take a bath for a year and a half because i'd never be able to believe he didn't think i was a woman.
>
> Is it possible that itís not about you? I mean, he could get physically aroused just because of the subject matter or whatever, without actually thinking of you as a woman. Iím pretty sure itís normal for everyone to have physiological feelings of arousal without the emotional feelings of desire for someone. So he could experience arousal in your presence without it having anything to do with you.
>
I think it'd be possible, but I wouldn't be able to shake the fear. Fortunately, I've never been aware of that happening, despite the subject matter. I don't think the subject matter can get any more arousing. So I think I can rely on him either being a eunuch or being able to pass as one in therapy. :)
>
> > I just have the sensations separated from any real meaning, because for me they have no real meaning.
>
> I really think thatís true for everyone to some extent. Often thereís no real meaning. Itís just that for you it seems as if you thereís pretty much never a connection between arousal and desire.
>
> > But... It'd be ok with my therapist if they did. In fact, I still think he'd consider it progress if I was sexually attracted to anyone, even him.
>
> Do you ever find *yourself* sexually attractive? I mean, I know itís possible to enjoy erotic feelings while alone without really thinking about appearance, but do you like to look at yourself? (Donít answer if itís too personal.) I must admit, sometimes I like to look at myself, but other times I just donít want to.
>
No, never. I hate the body I'm imprisoned in. I don't feel any feelings of ownership about it. It seems like the young pictures of me look like me, aging appropriately. Then wham. They don't look like me, older. They just don't look like me. I feel no sense of connection at all to the body I'm in today or pictures from fifteen or so on. I suddenly quit looking like Daddy and started looking like Mother. Probably the same time I stopped calling her Mama and started calling her Mother. Hmmmm...
>
> > I still think that sexual feelings (as opposed to sensations) in therapy may be linked somehow to feelings of safety to explore all parts of us. I think they're probably very therapeutic. But have the potential to be painful.
>
> Oh yes! And maybe thatís true of the sensations too. I suppose the sensations are very basic, but they can probably be therapeutic if they occur in a safe space. If arousal occurs because of anxiety but can be welcomed into a safe space, then perhaps it signals the possibility of arousal being associated with comfort. In a way, your therapist would be the idea person with whom to enjoy arousal-without-desire. Iím thinking of your suckling pup image. Apparently, small babies experience physiological arousal while breastfeeding... Maybe it could feel something like that.
>
> Or maybe Iím off the mark. But I love the idea of therapy being a safe place to feel aroused.
>
>
Ooh, I love that bit about the babies. So far I haven't exactly welcomed the sensations. Just noted them. But I do love that idea.

 

Re: One reason I wanted to post this Ľ Dinah

Posted by pinkeye on May 23, 2005, at 13:08:52

In reply to Re: One reason I wanted to post this Ľ Tamar, posted by Dinah on May 23, 2005, at 10:14:23

It is possible that it is your body's basic response. Even though intellectually you might deny that you are a woman - you ARE a woman. Physiologically. So your body will respond when it feels like. I think beyond a point, we really don't have too much control over our body's responses. So even though you think you are not a woman, and your therapist is not a man or not your type, I think finally it is your body's basic response to talking very intimately with another man. You may or may not like it, but I think you don't have that much control over yourself as you think you do.


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