Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 453698

Shown: posts 1 to 22 of 22. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

My so-called love life

Posted by crushedout on February 5, 2005, at 17:01:58

OK, so I promised to post here about this. But I can't remember what I wanted to say.

I'm having a very intense time with this new woman. And something crazy happened with her. I read a book on transference and countertransference about a year ago, relating to all that stuff I was going through with my ex-T. In the book, the author/psychotherapist discusses several of her patients. One of them she devotes a whole chapter to. I devoured this book because it was so relevant to what was going on with me with my T and it was interesting and weird.

Turns out, this woman I just started dating, well, her T is the one who wrote the book. And the woman, well, she's the one her T devoted this chapter to. I read about her a year ago. And now I'm dating her.

Is this crazy, or is it just me? It blows my freakin' mind.

There's a lot more to tell but I'll leave it there for now.

 

Re: My so-called love life crushedout

Posted by ghost on February 5, 2005, at 18:22:34

In reply to My so-called love life, posted by crushedout on February 5, 2005, at 17:01:58

whoa. do you think maybe it's a weird fate thing? that's so crazy.

uh. no pun intended.

;)

best wishes,
ghost

 

Re: My so-called love life

Posted by Susan47 on February 5, 2005, at 20:44:30

In reply to Re: My so-called love life crushedout, posted by ghost on February 5, 2005, at 18:22:34

How did all this come up? It seems like a lot to divulge at the beginning of a relationship. What was the chapter about? I'll bet my last therapist could write a chapter about me too, and that sure as hell doesn't feel good for me, but I behaved badly, so that's kind of different I guess.

 

Re: My so-called love life ghost

Posted by crushedout on February 5, 2005, at 23:10:44

In reply to Re: My so-called love life crushedout, posted by ghost on February 5, 2005, at 18:22:34


yeah, it feels like some weird fate thing, but i don't believe in that. so it makes me feel freaked out. cognitive dissonance or something.

 

Re: My so-called love life Susan47

Posted by crushedout on February 5, 2005, at 23:17:25

In reply to Re: My so-called love life, posted by Susan47 on February 5, 2005, at 20:44:30

well, it's hard to explain sort of. i had a profile on a website that mentioned a book with a similar theme. she noticed that and mentioned it. then she hinted about being discussed in the book. we have divulged way too much already. it feels like it's going very fast. i'm very confused. tonight i went on a date with someone else and had a great time. i'm very torn and scared and guilty. the chapter was about something extremely weird. so weird i don't even feel comfortable posting about it. it's too identifying. although that doesn't make much sense since this site is anonymous.

also, what her t wrote about her was very negative. it's hard to understand how she continues to see her after that.

i'm worried and freaked out, truly. does it show?

 

i think more than anything

Posted by crushedout on February 5, 2005, at 23:51:49

In reply to Re: My so-called love life Susan47, posted by crushedout on February 5, 2005, at 23:17:25


i'm just feeling overstimulated.

mostly what's happening to me is really good. even though it's really confusing.

 

Re: i think more than anything

Posted by anastasia56 on February 6, 2005, at 0:23:18

In reply to i think more than anything, posted by crushedout on February 5, 2005, at 23:51:49

the celestine prophecy book is an interesting read and claims there are no coincidences or accidental occurences...that everything happens for a reason. so whether you believe in fate or not, one might conclude that your meeting happened for a reason. what that reason is may not yet be clear.

ana


 

Re: i think more than anything anastasia56

Posted by crushedout on February 6, 2005, at 0:34:06

In reply to Re: i think more than anything, posted by anastasia56 on February 6, 2005, at 0:23:18

yeah, well, i think of that sort of like i think of fate. intellectually, i've never believed that things happen for a reason. i think everything is random and we'd like to think they happen for reasons, but they don't.

but this certainly *feels* like it's happening for a reason. ('course, that doesn't mean that it is.) that's where the cognitive dissonance comes in.

 

Re: My so-called love life

Posted by Susan47 on February 6, 2005, at 18:17:01

In reply to Re: My so-called love life Susan47, posted by crushedout on February 5, 2005, at 23:17:25

I wish I could help take away your feelings of being torn, scared and guilty. You say you've divulged way too much already. It sounds very much like you're uncomfortable with this woman, and maybe you have a lot in common but if the things that you have discussed with her make you uncomfortable, that can't be good.

 

Re: My so-called love life Susan47

Posted by crushedout on February 6, 2005, at 20:53:03

In reply to Re: My so-called love life, posted by Susan47 on February 6, 2005, at 18:17:01


I don't know. It's good and bad. We like each other a lot. We're very attracted to each other. But something about it makes me very uneasy. And it's not just that I'm scared of getting hurt. That's never been a problem for me. It's that something feels slightly wrong. I wish it didn't. It makes me very torn and sad.

The date I had last night felt just right. But there was no intense sexual energy like there is with the other woman. It's just a comfortable, happy, connected feeling. And I think there's a possibility for a sexual connection, but not an overwhelmingly passionate one. Who knows, though?

I'm very torn between these two different women.

I guess it's good to have choices, but it's a bit more stimulating than I've been up for.

 

Re: My so-called love life crushedout

Posted by Susan47 on February 6, 2005, at 23:12:36

In reply to Re: My so-called love life Susan47, posted by crushedout on February 6, 2005, at 20:53:03

Well, just try and be a bit laid-back and have some fun :) You don't have to start a sexual relationship with anyone if you're not sure. You can always fantasize for awhile, playing it safe.

 

Re: My so-called love life Susan47

Posted by crushedout on February 6, 2005, at 23:21:50

In reply to Re: My so-called love life crushedout, posted by Susan47 on February 6, 2005, at 23:12:36


Too late.

 

Re: My so-called love life

Posted by Susan47 on February 7, 2005, at 13:56:36

In reply to Re: My so-called love life Susan47, posted by crushedout on February 6, 2005, at 23:21:50

When I read that I just breathed in very sharply. Ouch, oh ouchie ow ow.

 

Re: My so-called love life Susan47

Posted by crushedout on February 7, 2005, at 14:06:01

In reply to Re: My so-called love life, posted by Susan47 on February 7, 2005, at 13:56:36


why ouchie ow? because it's exciting or bad or you're worried for me?

 

Re: My so-called love life

Posted by Susan47 on February 7, 2005, at 15:33:48

In reply to Re: My so-called love life Susan47, posted by crushedout on February 7, 2005, at 14:06:01

Worried. But I'm a worrier, that's me so don't worry! Hah hahahahha.

 

Re: My so-called love life Susan47

Posted by crushedout on February 7, 2005, at 15:52:17

In reply to Re: My so-called love life, posted by Susan47 on February 7, 2005, at 15:33:48


i wonder what about this worries you.

i'm panicking.

uh oh. it's a good thing you're not here or else we'd be in a tizzy all the time. worrier + worrier = tizzy.

 

Re: My so-called love life

Posted by Susan47 on February 7, 2005, at 16:05:16

In reply to Re: My so-called love life Susan47, posted by crushedout on February 7, 2005, at 15:52:17

I see you with a hand to your forehead.
See, now we're just too cute, we better cut that out. No worries, okay?

 

Re: My so-called love life Susan47

Posted by crushedout on February 7, 2005, at 16:10:59

In reply to Re: My so-called love life, posted by Susan47 on February 7, 2005, at 16:05:16


can't help it. i think it's partly my new meds. they're making me all agity.

 

Re: My so-called love life

Posted by Susan47 on February 7, 2005, at 16:30:40

In reply to Re: My so-called love life Susan47, posted by crushedout on February 7, 2005, at 16:10:59

Did you get my babblemail?

 

Re: My so-called love life Susan47

Posted by crushedout on February 7, 2005, at 19:06:45

In reply to Re: My so-called love life, posted by Susan47 on February 7, 2005, at 16:30:40


i did. i responded. did you get my response?

 

Re: My so-called love life

Posted by Susan47 on February 7, 2005, at 19:27:28

In reply to Re: My so-called love life Susan47, posted by crushedout on February 7, 2005, at 19:06:45

Yes and we're going hot and heavy on babblemail now. I have a class to go to so may have to continue later or tomorrow, what time zone are you in anyway?

 

EST; what about you? (nm) Susan47

Posted by crushedout on February 7, 2005, at 23:55:48

In reply to Re: My so-called love life, posted by Susan47 on February 7, 2005, at 19:27:28


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