Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 445210

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Decisions, decisions....(re:T)

Posted by B2Chica on January 21, 2005, at 12:01:34

ok, maybe just writing this out may help me with my decision.
but remember the guy i found in december/jan that i clicked with GREAT and i REALLY wanted to see him for T. he wanted to take me on but had to stop practice due to personal reasons.
Well, i then decided i just couldn't wait for a couple months and chose to start looking at female therapists (big step for me) i naturally feel more comfortable with male.
Anyway, my pdoc (whom i trust dearly) recommended just trying out someone in his office- she just started with them. she has an LMHP and CMSW was working in hospital and now in private practice. I met with her wed for an hour, initial stuff-but i noticed that i mentioned things to her (issues with my mother -just in general no specifics) and openly talked about my SI issues. I hadn't done this before with any T. i don't know if i did because:
1)she's who i should be with,
2)because her office is in the same building as my T i feel 'safe' there?
3)i'm just so tired of looking i'm just to the point that i layed it all out there?

Now, my question is...my friend called the guy T's office-the one i wanted (for me-i'm not sure why i didn't do it myself) to find out when he would be coming back and the secretary said HE's BACK AND seeing px again!!
Yay!
But now...well, i can't help but think i was lead in this direction (of the female) for a reason and that i should stick it out with her. i've only seen her the one time...and maybe i should just try a couple more sessions to see.
i also think that maybe i should talk with her on the level of my sexual issues, then later go to him and discuss my depressive/abstract thinking issues?? course usually i open up better with guys??
He just really understood me as a person. i guess i think he would be someone that i would make friends with on the outside...maybe that's good but not necessarily for therapy?
Ok...after writing this. I think i need to at least see the female one or two more times before i make a decision. right?? it was just weird cuz i just don't open up like that with women...but maybe it was the day or time or circumstance. Maybe now knowing other guyT is back i know i have a 'safetynet'??
but if i do see her and what if our relationship ends poorly-she's in the same office...would it be weird?

uggggh.

i think the stupidest thing is, i got an additional sleep additive and last two nights actually slept Great! and felt good for two whole days! last night i cleaned the whole upstairs in the house! paid bills...etc.
so now i'm feeling i can 'handle' all my 'issues' and don't even feel the NEED to see a T.
sometimes i'm just such a moron.
this is a time.

need some babble advice, any comments will do.
Thanks All!
B2c.


 

Re: Decisions, decisions....(re:T)

Posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 21, 2005, at 14:38:34

In reply to Decisions, decisions....(re:T), posted by B2Chica on January 21, 2005, at 12:01:34

Had you actually formally seen the male T before he had to stop?

I think it would be no big deal for you to see him again just to see how things feel. Personally, I think it's a great sign that you were able to lay everything out for your female T. I don't think you can get far in therapy if there are things you feel uncomfortable about talking due to gender or other factors.

I think if you feel reluctant to bring things up with the male T, but can bring everything up with the female T, I vote for the female.

But, give the male T a shot and see how it feels.

 

Re: Decisions, decisions....(re:T) B2Chica

Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 21, 2005, at 14:53:28

In reply to Decisions, decisions....(re:T), posted by B2Chica on January 21, 2005, at 12:01:34

In short go with the guy T YOU wanted really wanted to see all this time..if he don't work out you can move to girl t :) no book banning lol

> ok, maybe just writing this out may help me with my decision.
> but remember the guy i found in december/jan that i clicked with GREAT and i REALLY wanted to see him for T. he wanted to take me on but had to stop practice due to personal reasons.
> Well, i then decided i just couldn't wait for a couple months and chose to start looking at female therapists (big step for me) i naturally feel more comfortable with male.
> Anyway, my pdoc (whom i trust dearly) recommended just trying out someone in his office- she just started with them. she has an LMHP and CMSW was working in hospital and now in private practice. I met with her wed for an hour, initial stuff-but i noticed that i mentioned things to her (issues with my mother -just in general no specifics) and openly talked about my SI issues. I hadn't done this before with any T. i don't know if i did because:
> 1)she's who i should be with,
> 2)because her office is in the same building as my T i feel 'safe' there?
> 3)i'm just so tired of looking i'm just to the point that i layed it all out there?
>
> Now, my question is...my friend called the guy T's office-the one i wanted (for me-i'm not sure why i didn't do it myself) to find out when he would be coming back and the secretary said HE's BACK AND seeing px again!!
> Yay!
> But now...well, i can't help but think i was lead in this direction (of the female) for a reason and that i should stick it out with her. i've only seen her the one time...and maybe i should just try a couple more sessions to see.
> i also think that maybe i should talk with her on the level of my sexual issues, then later go to him and discuss my depressive/abstract thinking issues?? course usually i open up better with guys??
> He just really understood me as a person. i guess i think he would be someone that i would make friends with on the outside...maybe that's good but not necessarily for therapy?
> Ok...after writing this. I think i need to at least see the female one or two more times before i make a decision. right?? it was just weird cuz i just don't open up like that with women...but maybe it was the day or time or circumstance. Maybe now knowing other guyT is back i know i have a 'safetynet'??
> but if i do see her and what if our relationship ends poorly-she's in the same office...would it be weird?
>
> uggggh.
>
> i think the stupidest thing is, i got an additional sleep additive and last two nights actually slept Great! and felt good for two whole days! last night i cleaned the whole upstairs in the house! paid bills...etc.
> so now i'm feeling i can 'handle' all my 'issues' and don't even feel the NEED to see a T.
> sometimes i'm just such a moron.
> this is a time.
>
> need some babble advice, any comments will do.
> Thanks All!
> B2c.
>
>
>

 

Re: Decisions, decisions.... B2Chica

Posted by Shortelise on January 21, 2005, at 15:19:29

In reply to Decisions, decisions....(re:T), posted by B2Chica on January 21, 2005, at 12:01:34

b2c, what a hard one. It would be nice to be able to look into the future, wouldn't it?

Would it be a good idea to discuss this with the woman T, and see what she says? She'd have an expert opinion.

Sometimes relationships take work, sometimes we don't "click" at first but grow into things.

ShortE

 

Re: Decision...maybe

Posted by B2Chica on January 24, 2005, at 9:16:58

In reply to Re: Decisions, decisions.... B2Chica, posted by Shortelise on January 21, 2005, at 15:19:29

Thanks all, you gave me some great info.
i really thought hard over the weekend. and i think (for now anyway) the plan is to go to the girl once more. if i feel comfortable i'll lay the mother stuff out with her. i know that she can't "get" my inner conflict stuff and the guy did right off the bat. but since his mother just died i think i'd feel wierd complaining/being angry with mine infront of him. though from his nature he's Never show it.

my next appt with her is tues night. so we'll see how it goes. maybe she'll seem different? maybe everything will, now that i know this guy is back.

-i never saw him as therapist but the first time i called to 'check him out' he talked on the phone with me for about 25 min! then our next appt. to initially see- was hour and 1/2 (he said it'd be about 45-50 min, we went over. the next time was the "assessment" or testing that i did- it should have taken about hour and 1/2 took 2 1/2 hours cuz we got to talking.
he was just SO easy to talk with. about my inside conflicts and depressive talking and issues.

so....i'll let you guys know how tuesday goes with the lady!

THANK YOU !!!
b2c.


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