Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 420851

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Dinah, I agree with everything you said 100% (nm)

Posted by messadivoce on December 6, 2004, at 20:33:56

In reply to Oooh, that leads to a DO, posted by Dinah on December 6, 2004, at 19:32:34

 

Re: simcha messadivoce

Posted by simcha on December 6, 2004, at 23:32:33

In reply to Re: simcha, posted by messadivoce on December 6, 2004, at 0:16:37

Thanks for your thoughtful reply.

I actually love an educated client. When a client is searching out answers I know that they are getting better.

I think that some therapists are insecure about their expertise and think that therapy should be some sort of secret. I don't like that. Then again I come from a Holistic perspective. I'm kind of a radical in my field.

Also, seeing how some clients look up information and apply it to their own situations is very diagnostic. Hypochondriacs are easier to spot this way. Sometimes a client may diagnose themselves improperly. I tend to err on the side of client education. When I was starting therapy ten years ago I read everything I could about what I was experiencing. This helped me and my therapy.

I've had many a psychiatrist roll their eyes when I give them information about medication that they would rather that I don't know about.

Also, there are some pretty crappy sites out there about psychiatry and psychology. Generally these are infiltrated by scientologists who hate psychiatry and psychology. They call it quackery.

So, this site is actually very excellent as a source for reliable information. WebMD is another good source. NIMH has a great site too. Be careful out there. Not all that is written anywhere is true.

Also, I'm humble enough to know that I can be wrong too. So, I do make mistakes with clients and I acknowledge them. There are limits to what we know about psychology and I acknowledge this with clients. Sometimes when I don't know the therapy is about sitting in the "I don't know."

Simcha

 

Re: simcha Susan47

Posted by simcha on December 6, 2004, at 23:39:48

In reply to Re: simcha, posted by Susan47 on December 6, 2004, at 17:41:40

Susan,

I'm so sorry you are hurting. I hope that I'm not offending you. I'm just trying to tell you my experience.

I'm more than willing to be wrong. I'm a trainee. I hope I never lose the willingness to be wrong. A little humility is a great therapeutic tool and a sign of a good human being, in my humble opinion.

So, please hang in there.

Also there are a lot of very bad therapists out there unfortunately. They make it more difficult for the profession to really advance. Unacknowledged mistakes fester and give us no chance to really make the profession better.

I'm sorry if I'm no comfort to you here.

Blessings,
Simcha

 

Re: Oooh, that leads to a DO Dinah

Posted by simcha on December 6, 2004, at 23:46:55

In reply to Oooh, that leads to a DO, posted by Dinah on December 6, 2004, at 19:32:34

Dinah,

All I say is go! Read, watch, and learn. Many of us who are becoming therapists started in the client's chair. I truly believe that those of us who have walked through fire and know what it is like and have made progress make the best therapists.

Who knows? Maybe you might be starting an MA degree in the near future. I say, go for it! We need educated consumers in this field. Heck, doctors try to educate people about their physical syndroms. It only makes sense that we therapists should expect that our clients educate themselves.

I know that some therapists find an educated client a threat. That shows me that the therapist has some work to do on him or herself, in my humble opinion.

I go to therapy every week. I take my meds. I will never stop going to therapy so long as I see clients. My clients are like mirrors sometimes showing me parts of my psyche that I did not know needed work. I think that a therapist who is not willing to do self work is not a very good therapist. There would be too much projective identification in the room if I did not sort things out with my therapists and collaborate with other professionals.

Blessings,
Simcha

 

I've just experienced a do simcha

Posted by Dinah on December 8, 2004, at 11:52:38

In reply to Re: Oooh, that leads to a DO Dinah, posted by simcha on December 6, 2004, at 23:46:55

My son's new play therapist has a great opening handout that, among other things, discusses the therapeutic relationship.

It explains that therapy feels like an intimate personal relationship but that it is a professional one confined to the hours that she is paid to be there. That contact should be confined to that time and that clients shouldn't try to contact her in extratherapeutic ways through inviting her to personal events or giving her gifts or a few other examples.

It was clear, yet nicely worded, and given at the beginning of the therapeutic relationship when no attachment had been formed.

I liked that.

Of course, on the other hand, my therapist may have given me something similar nearly ten years ago and I blew it off. :))

 

Whoops. That was a general response. (nm)

Posted by Dinah on December 8, 2004, at 11:53:05

In reply to I've just experienced a do simcha, posted by Dinah on December 8, 2004, at 11:52:38

 

Re: I've just experienced a do

Posted by Daisym on December 8, 2004, at 12:29:50

In reply to I've just experienced a do simcha, posted by Dinah on December 8, 2004, at 11:52:38

hmmm...I just sort of shivered reading those words.

I like the way she was straight up about gifts, ect. but I think the "confined to the hours I work" would give me pause. It would reinforce my "don't bother anyone" sensibilities. And I'm pretty sure that if I read something like that at the beginnning I would have simply thought, "well sure, of course." But having been "bowled over" (someone else's phrase) by therapy feelings in a way I never expected, that piece of paper would stand in conflict with what I was being told (call me).

*sigh* I guess I want my cake and to eat it too.

 

Re: I've just experienced a do Daisym

Posted by simcha on December 8, 2004, at 17:26:48

In reply to Re: I've just experienced a do, posted by Daisym on December 8, 2004, at 12:29:50

Here is my policy:

I let my clients know that I check my phone messages 4-6 times per day. I can get back to them within a couple of hours usually. Or if it's late at night, the next morning.

I will talk to them for 5 minutes if it is not an emergency. If it's an emergency we talk for 10 minutes. If the emergency cannot be resolved in 10 minutes over the phone we schedule an extra appointment hopefully within 24 hours...

I have been taught to remain available to my clients and to keep boundaries professional. It's kind of like being a willow bending in the wind as opposed to an oak that will snap in a nasty gail.

Simcha

 

Re: I've just experienced a do simcha

Posted by pinkeye on December 8, 2004, at 17:50:34

In reply to Re: I've just experienced a do Daisym, posted by simcha on December 8, 2004, at 17:26:48

Simcha,
this is a general question. What do you feel about clients who need you too much or become emotionally dependant on you and want to contact you a lot ? Do you feel they are a nuisance? Also do you respect them or think they are a nuisance? Do you like your clients?
Pinkeye
> Here is my policy:
>
> I let my clients know that I check my phone messages 4-6 times per day. I can get back to them within a couple of hours usually. Or if it's late at night, the next morning.
>
> I will talk to them for 5 minutes if it is not an emergency. If it's an emergency we talk for 10 minutes. If the emergency cannot be resolved in 10 minutes over the phone we schedule an extra appointment hopefully within 24 hours...
>
> I have been taught to remain available to my clients and to keep boundaries professional. It's kind of like being a willow bending in the wind as opposed to an oak that will snap in a nasty gail.
>
> Simcha

 

Re: I've just experienced a do Daisym

Posted by Dinah on December 8, 2004, at 19:21:09

In reply to Re: I've just experienced a do, posted by Daisym on December 8, 2004, at 12:29:50

Hmmm. I think I worded that wrong. There was a separate session about phone contact. She does make herself available, but says that if it's an emergency she can't promise to always be available and to go to an ER.

This was in a separate sessions, and she means nonprofessional contact. Inviting her to parties or weddings, going out to coffee, stuff like that I think.

 

Re: I've just experienced a do

Posted by simcha on December 8, 2004, at 23:31:46

In reply to Re: I've just experienced a do simcha, posted by pinkeye on December 8, 2004, at 17:50:34

So far I like all my clients.

If a client insisted on daily contact, it would have to be an emergency. Then if it could not be resolved over the phone in 10 minutes I would let them know that we need to meet 2-4 times per week for sessions if they need that much support. When the crisis is over we could cut back on sessions.

With Borderline PD clients this is an issue. Firm therapeutic boundaries are part of the treatment. I really like working with BPD clients. Most therapists don't I like the energy, the challenge, and I can meet the energy. Some therapists get overwhelmed with that much work on a client. I welcome it. I try to do whatever the client actually needs to get better. Sometimes people who insist on daily contact really need more than one session a week. I have to keep that boundary for their own treatment plan. I would let them know that it's a boundary and explain the parameters in a compassionate manner.

Simcha

 

Re: I've just experienced a do Dinah

Posted by simcha on December 8, 2004, at 23:34:33

In reply to Re: I've just experienced a do Daisym, posted by Dinah on December 8, 2004, at 19:21:09

Sometimes a therapist must refer a client to 911. Personally I like my Ethics and The Law teacher's way of dealing with such a situation. She tries to get the client to come to the office and they call 911 together. The police come and make a determination whether or not the client needs to go to the hospital.

Of course, clients are always welcome to call 911 or go to the ER and admit themselves. In that case I would want them to call me so I could visit them.

Simcha

 

Re: I've just experienced a do simcha

Posted by daisym on December 8, 2004, at 23:35:38

In reply to Re: I've just experienced a do Daisym, posted by simcha on December 8, 2004, at 17:26:48

I don't want to come across as challenging, Simka, but I don't know if you have that willow thing down yet.

I think if you've already set a time limit for things, 5 minutes, 10 minutes, etc. you've already limited your flexibility. I know the basic idea is to offer support over the phone and do therapy during sessions. But sometime clients need more than 5 minutes of support.

I am a competent, well-educated 40-something woman who works in human services. When I finally started talking to my therapist about the abuse that happened in my childhood, I was shocked at how absolutely overwhelmed and suicidal I felt. I remember the first time I called after a session. I think it was a couple of hours later and I said something like, "I don't know what is happening to me. I can't stop crying and I hurt so bad I can't function." It wasn't an emergency - I wasn't planning on hurting myself - but I NEEDED to have someone normalize the pain for me and just be there. He said all the right things and let me cry on the phone until I was calm. It probably took 15 minutes. If he had cut me off after 5 minutes, I probably would not have continued on this immensely hard road trying to heal. Since then, we have lots of phone contact. Much of this includes loosely scheduled phone check ins (like "let's touch base Friday afternoon") if I'm going through a rough patch. I worry a lot that I'm that "pain in the a**" client that made all the rules necessary. My therapist tells me that he wants me to reach out to him as much as I need to. I believe he means this. If you've read any of my posts you will notice that I swing wildly about accepting this attachment and fighting it.

I think I read in one of your other posts (forgive me if I'm wrong) that "most" people in therapy have boundary issues. I would argue that it is just as likely for you to have a client who won't want to bother you AT ALL as it is to have one bother you too much. That would have been me if my therapist wasn't so proactive in encouraging me to use him for support.

By the way, I do pay for phone calls. We agreed that this would help me get past my reluctance of bothering him.

Lastly, I think you will encounter clients who can't afford extra sessions, can't take the time off work, etc. etc. In these cases, longer phone calls might be just the answer.

I should admit to being sensitive about this subject tonight. I'm trying to add a perspective, not lecture.

 

Re: I've just experienced a do daisym

Posted by simcha on December 9, 2004, at 0:05:05

In reply to Re: I've just experienced a do simcha, posted by daisym on December 8, 2004, at 23:35:38

Daisy,

I completely respect your perspective. BPD clients are very different from survivors of childhood sexual, physical, and emotional abuse, and neglect. These clients do need more phone time.

Currently I am a trainee I work under someone else's license. I have to consult with her and respect her wisdom in setting limits and boundaries. Right now she wants me to be conservative. So, I have to tow the party line in order to finish my traineeship.

Also, I will be an Intern for about 4-5 years. I will have a different supervisor then. They might have different limits and boundaries and a different clinical orientation.

When I get my own MFT license I will be free to explore boundaries and limits on my own. In your case, I would have spent at least ten minutes almost every day with you on the phone when you were having your existential crisis. This is crisis counseling and it comes with the fee you pay for the one hour per week session.

In my current situation I have asked my supervisor about having clients pay for more phone time if they need it. It would be at a reduced rate. The Agency and the Supervisor have to agree on this. At the moment they won't let me do this. They want me to experience the conservative approach.

As part of this I do have two clients who need to be seen twice per week and we are negociating the fee to be lowered per session to make it affordable to these clients. My supervisor is for this. She does not want me to get burned out as a trainee who works 30 hours a week at a Group home for pay, works 30 hours per week at a trainee center that pays me $50 per month, and goes to school full time spending 20-30 hours per week on class time and homework.

So, as an MFT Trainee, my availability must be more structured so that I can really be there for my clients. I don't want to burn out and become ineffective in the therapy room. My supervisor wants me to avoid this too. Currently I'm limited to six clients for this reason at this time. I do eight hours of therapy per week. Phone calls take up another hour or two. Don't even ask about the paperwork that goes with this, it's deadly....

So, my orientation is different from my current supervisor's. I see her point and I'll do it her way now in order to learn. She acknowledges that I will be doing things differently when I have my own practice. So, I will grow as a therapist. This is my first quarter as a trainee and I don't have ton's of experience with one on one therapy.

I have been a counselor for four years. This is a very different form of therapy and less taxing than psychotherapy. As a counselor, I could be more of a peer and do more self-disclosure. I could also do more behavior modeling and CBT techniques.

So, that is my history.

I respect your story and your experience and it sounds like you have a very good therapist. I hope to match his skills someday.

Respectfully Yours,
Simcha

> I don't want to come across as challenging, Simka, but I don't know if you have that willow thing down yet.
>
> I think if you've already set a time limit for things, 5 minutes, 10 minutes, etc. you've already limited your flexibility. I know the basic idea is to offer support over the phone and do therapy during sessions. But sometime clients need more than 5 minutes of support.
>
> I am a competent, well-educated 40-something woman who works in human services. When I finally started talking to my therapist about the abuse that happened in my childhood, I was shocked at how absolutely overwhelmed and suicidal I felt. I remember the first time I called after a session. I think it was a couple of hours later and I said something like, "I don't know what is happening to me. I can't stop crying and I hurt so bad I can't function." It wasn't an emergency - I wasn't planning on hurting myself - but I NEEDED to have someone normalize the pain for me and just be there. He said all the right things and let me cry on the phone until I was calm. It probably took 15 minutes. If he had cut me off after 5 minutes, I probably would not have continued on this immensely hard road trying to heal. Since then, we have lots of phone contact. Much of this includes loosely scheduled phone check ins (like "let's touch base Friday afternoon") if I'm going through a rough patch. I worry a lot that I'm that "pain in the a**" client that made all the rules necessary. My therapist tells me that he wants me to reach out to him as much as I need to. I believe he means this. If you've read any of my posts you will notice that I swing wildly about accepting this attachment and fighting it.
>
> I think I read in one of your other posts (forgive me if I'm wrong) that "most" people in therapy have boundary issues. I would argue that it is just as likely for you to have a client who won't want to bother you AT ALL as it is to have one bother you too much. That would have been me if my therapist wasn't so proactive in encouraging me to use him for support.
>
> By the way, I do pay for phone calls. We agreed that this would help me get past my reluctance of bothering him.
>
> Lastly, I think you will encounter clients who can't afford extra sessions, can't take the time off work, etc. etc. In these cases, longer phone calls might be just the answer.
>
> I should admit to being sensitive about this subject tonight. I'm trying to add a perspective, not lecture.
>

 

Re: I've just experienced a do daisym

Posted by simcha on December 9, 2004, at 0:11:29

In reply to Re: I've just experienced a do simcha, posted by daisym on December 8, 2004, at 23:35:38

Oh, and from the very beginning I tell my clients to call me at any time. I check my messages 4-6 times a day lately due to my client load. It's important for me to get back to clients promptly.

I make sure that they should call me if they are having extreme difficulty that they cannot handle. Idle chat is for friends. Crisis is for therapists and good friends who can be really supportive. Most of my clients don't have these kind of friends so I really stress, every session in fact, that they SHOULD call me if something comes up...

Simcha


> I don't want to come across as challenging, Simka, but I don't know if you have that willow thing down yet.
>
> I think if you've already set a time limit for things, 5 minutes, 10 minutes, etc. you've already limited your flexibility. I know the basic idea is to offer support over the phone and do therapy during sessions. But sometime clients need more than 5 minutes of support.
>
> I am a competent, well-educated 40-something woman who works in human services. When I finally started talking to my therapist about the abuse that happened in my childhood, I was shocked at how absolutely overwhelmed and suicidal I felt. I remember the first time I called after a session. I think it was a couple of hours later and I said something like, "I don't know what is happening to me. I can't stop crying and I hurt so bad I can't function." It wasn't an emergency - I wasn't planning on hurting myself - but I NEEDED to have someone normalize the pain for me and just be there. He said all the right things and let me cry on the phone until I was calm. It probably took 15 minutes. If he had cut me off after 5 minutes, I probably would not have continued on this immensely hard road trying to heal. Since then, we have lots of phone contact. Much of this includes loosely scheduled phone check ins (like "let's touch base Friday afternoon") if I'm going through a rough patch. I worry a lot that I'm that "pain in the a**" client that made all the rules necessary. My therapist tells me that he wants me to reach out to him as much as I need to. I believe he means this. If you've read any of my posts you will notice that I swing wildly about accepting this attachment and fighting it.
>
> I think I read in one of your other posts (forgive me if I'm wrong) that "most" people in therapy have boundary issues. I would argue that it is just as likely for you to have a client who won't want to bother you AT ALL as it is to have one bother you too much. That would have been me if my therapist wasn't so proactive in encouraging me to use him for support.
>
> By the way, I do pay for phone calls. We agreed that this would help me get past my reluctance of bothering him.
>
> Lastly, I think you will encounter clients who can't afford extra sessions, can't take the time off work, etc. etc. In these cases, longer phone calls might be just the answer.
>
> I should admit to being sensitive about this subject tonight. I'm trying to add a perspective, not lecture.
>

 

I bet you'll be great simcha

Posted by daisym on December 9, 2004, at 0:32:58

In reply to Re: I've just experienced a do daisym, posted by simcha on December 9, 2004, at 0:11:29

Sounds like you've thought about this a lot. It must be very hard to be a trainee. Negotiating not only your clients but your supervisor's needs is a balancing act. Good thing you have your own therapist!

I remember what it was like having small children, working on my thesis and working too. I taught classes at the hospital at night and I was always worried I'd nod off during the movies. :)
Take your vit. C and eat right. And keep your Starbucks card handy!

 

Re: I bet you'll be great daisym

Posted by simcha on December 9, 2004, at 1:00:54

In reply to I bet you'll be great simcha, posted by daisym on December 9, 2004, at 0:32:58

Geez,

You did this with kids? I bow to you many times for that....

I have a hard enough time managing myself and my kitty. Keeping a social life is next to impossible. I need intimacy too.

At the moment I'm taking a super stress complex that has vit c, b-1, b-2, niacin, b-6, folic acid, b-12, biotin, panthenic acid, para aminobenzoic acid, choline, inositol, valerian root powder, hops strobiles powder, and scullcap herb powder. It is supposed to keep my immune system in check and help my stress level in check and to keep it on a slow burn.

Also, I've diverticulitis(sp?).... bad gas and cramping. I take charco-caps in between meds and meals and lactobacillus acidophilus, lactobacillis bifidus. This helps with the gas, cramping, and nutient absorption.

I just started the supplements. I take enough darn pills and meds with asthma and depression, so for me to take supplements, you know I'm desperate. :)

I'm also eating a lot of leafy greens, nuts, seeds, whole grains, beans, tomatoes, and lots of fruit.

So, I just need to walk more and that would help with the stress..

Thanks for the vote of confidence... Sometimes my inner critic really beats the heck out of me....

And.. in the Bay Area we have Peets which is far superior to starbucks (at least in my opinion, it's local and a chain that has better roasts, mmmmm). I have a card and I use it regularly.... lol ;-)

Oh, and humility is not something that has not come naturally to me. Trainees must be humble and allow themselves to be taught. It's part of the deal.

Actually we get more training and education than MDs and we don't get the same money or the respect. So you have to love this profession to do it or be crazy. I'm both... ;-)

Blessings,
Simcha


> Sounds like you've thought about this a lot. It must be very hard to be a trainee. Negotiating not only your clients but your supervisor's needs is a balancing act. Good thing you have your own therapist!
>
> I remember what it was like having small children, working on my thesis and working too. I taught classes at the hospital at night and I was always worried I'd nod off during the movies. :)
> Take your vit. C and eat right. And keep your Starbucks card handy!

 

Re: I bet you'll be great simcha

Posted by daisym on December 9, 2004, at 1:28:43

In reply to Re: I bet you'll be great daisym, posted by simcha on December 9, 2004, at 1:00:54

I think working with little kids puts you even further down the pay/respect totem pole...

Watch the nuts and seeds if you have divirticulitis...

Bad time for Asthma around here. Are you coughing? Stress doesn't help either. My hubby has Asthma and COPD - very bad lungs. He grew up in Concord, but up here (Sonoma County) he has a much worse time. We are getting fog tomorrow which for some reason helps him.

I know lots of infant mental health folks in your area. There is a huge need for therapists who work with little kids and families. (Sorry, always trying to push/pull interns into my field.)

My oldest is down your way UC Berkeley. He tells me he is never moving back to "the sticks." My youngest is interested in being a therapist as he has a great relationship with his. I often wonder if this motivates folks into this field. I can't imagine wanting to be a therapist without ever having experienced it. I suppose it does happen though.

 

Re: I bet you'll be great daisym

Posted by gardenergirl on December 9, 2004, at 1:36:39

In reply to Re: I bet you'll be great simcha, posted by daisym on December 9, 2004, at 1:28:43

>I can't imagine wanting to be a therapist without ever having experienced it. I suppose it does happen though.

That's my story. Good thing once I did experience therapy it didn't turn me off of it. ;)

gg

 

Re: I bet you'll be great daisym

Posted by simcha on December 9, 2004, at 1:49:28

In reply to Re: I bet you'll be great simcha, posted by daisym on December 9, 2004, at 1:28:43

> I think working with little kids puts you even further down the pay/respect totem pole...

Yep, that is so very true. But I love it. I love working with the Elementary School Children. I worked at Sunrise Elementary School in Concord, CA. I miss those kids. They were SED and the more they were disturbed the more I loved them. Currently, I work in Berkeley with homeless 14-17 year olds. I feel like all of my old adolescent issues have surfaced. I thought I dealt with them. Well, my clients, the wonderful mirrors that they are, have exposed yet more work I need to do. It's a blessing and a curse.

> Watch the nuts and seeds if you have divirticulitis...

Yeah, I know... At the same time they are VERY healthy for you and are such a quick meal. They make a better snack than reaching for my preferred chocolate. :)

> Bad time for Asthma around here. Are you coughing? Stress doesn't help either. My hubby has Asthma and COPD - very bad lungs. He grew up in Concord, but up here (Sonoma County) he has a much worse time. We are getting fog tomorrow which for some reason helps him.

Wow! We are neighbors. I live in Oakland and work in Berkeley. I have very good treatment for my asthma. I'm on albuterol and Qvar 80mcg 4 puffs to 8puffs daily, depending. I keep a spreadsheet of my peakflow readings and I'm very pro-active with my treatment. It's taken me three years in order to learn how to manage the asthma that I was diagnosed with three years ago. I have adult onset asthma that varies to mild, moderate, and severe. When it's severe I have prednisone to do a "prednisone burst." I've managed well enough never to have to go to the hospital. So, my peakflow meter is telling me that my treatment is working now. Also I do have some symptoms. Yet I believe that this is the best I've treated my asthma during this season. Last year my asthma would wake me up and make me miss work. This year its a mild annoyance. Thank goodness!

> I know lots of infant mental health folks in your area. There is a huge need for therapists who work with little kids and families. (Sorry, always trying to push/pull interns into my field.)

Yes, I would love to intern at Oakland Children's Hospital with children with terminal illness. It's something I really understand because they thought I was a gonner when I was a child. I escaped death. I believe that it's for a reason. Perhaps it is my destiny to work with these children. Hospitals also pay better than Non-Profit Agencies like mine...

> My oldest is down your way UC Berkeley. He tells me he is never moving back to "the sticks." My youngest is interested in being a therapist as he has a great relationship with his. I often wonder if this motivates folks into this field. I can't imagine wanting to be a therapist without ever having experienced it. I suppose it does happen though.

Yeah, it does happen. It might help him to seek counseling while at school to make sure that he really wants to be in that environment. Also it would be better for him to really examine himself before seeing clients. This has really helped me more than anything else. I go to JFKU, it's expensive and it's worth every penny. I'm in the School of Holistic studies getting a specialization in Transpersonal Psychology.

I just love the Sonoma area! It's so beautiful and so close. I love the wine tasting. Perhaps we may want to email each other sometime. I don't know how that works on this board. I've never emailed anyone but Dr. Bob. How would we reveal our emails without getting everyone to see them?

Simcha

 

Re: simcha, I'm sorry

Posted by Susan47 on December 9, 2004, at 18:45:58

In reply to Re: simcha Susan47, posted by simcha on December 6, 2004, at 23:39:48

I don't disagree with what you said, I was expressing my level of personal pain, that's all (!) and don't take it personally. You're here and that's wonderful, I'm reading.

 

Re: simcha, I'm sorry Susan47

Posted by simcha on December 10, 2004, at 0:38:15

In reply to Re: simcha, I'm sorry, posted by Susan47 on December 9, 2004, at 18:45:58

Susan,

No need to apologize. I hope you feel better. You did not offend me. Many Blessings and Peace, simcha

 

Re: supervisors and boundaries simcha

Posted by jane d on December 10, 2004, at 4:01:58

In reply to Re: I've just experienced a do daisym, posted by simcha on December 9, 2004, at 0:05:05

> Daisy,
>
> I completely respect your perspective. BPD clients are very different from survivors of childhood sexual, physical, and emotional abuse, and neglect. These clients do need more phone time.
>
> Currently I am a trainee I work under someone else's license. I have to consult with her and respect her wisdom in setting limits and boundaries. Right now she wants me to be conservative. So, I have to tow the party line in order to finish my traineeship.

Do you tell your clients that these are your supervisor's rule? I would think that having to impose someone else's judgment into therapy would be awkward at the very least.

Jane

 

Re: supervisors and boundaries

Posted by simcha on December 10, 2004, at 4:23:04

In reply to Re: supervisors and boundaries simcha, posted by jane d on December 10, 2004, at 4:01:58

Jane,

No, I cannot do that. I have to say that it these are my boundaries. This is because I am in collaboration with my supervisor. I do make the choice to follow her direction. And I've changed her mind on certain things too. It's a two way street...

Holding clients is a very difficult process. It's very dynamic. Sometimes from the client's view it seems more static than it really is. Again, I believe we therapists walk on the edge of a knife when we work with clients. It's difficult to balance and we fall off often.

Simcha
> Do you tell your clients that these are your supervisor's rule? I would think that having to impose someone else's judgment into therapy would be awkward at the very least.
>
> Jane

 

Re: Babble Guide to Therapists: Do's and Don'ts

Posted by 10derheart on December 30, 2004, at 23:17:36

In reply to Re: Babble Guide to Therapists: Do's and Don'ts (nm), posted by multitask on December 3, 2004, at 11:24:14


Had to bring this thread back to share another DON'T my new (male, late fifties, balding, chubby) therapist subjected me to. He's a lovely man and we are working well after only four sessions, but.....

when you are still quite ill, getting over a terrible chest cold, and have a severe coughing fit in a session...when the client says (showing genuine empathy), "I feel so bad for you, I hate that kind of cough, sometimes it's so bad you can hurt your back," DO NOT then say, "I'd tell you where this is hurting me right now, but it would be WAY too embarrassing!"

Ewwwwwwwww!!!! (have no idea, don't want to know)


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