Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 397304

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How much does your therapist talk?

Posted by mair on September 30, 2004, at 13:52:37

I thought about this coming back from a session where my T talked tons more than I did - almost a running monologue.

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it - it was probably appropriate today, because most of the talking she was doing was in response to questions framed by me to get her take on things. And it is helpful to me that she takes time to review some of her theories about me - I seem to need alot of repetition.

But we have discussed it as a sometimes issue - one that she says was routinely pointed out to her when she was in training. Sometimes it's just in the form of stepping in to finish one of my thoughts when I'm floundering, or to take me off the hook during some of those uncomfortable silences. Other times it's just her explaining her theories about me - but they can be long-winded.

I'm just wondering what the norm is with other Ts.

 

Re: How much does your therapist talk?

Posted by rubenstein on September 30, 2004, at 14:10:52

In reply to How much does your therapist talk?, posted by mair on September 30, 2004, at 13:52:37

my T talks all the time, prob more than half of the session. I like it though becuase I seem to trust him more that way for some odd reason. I think sometimes he thinks he talks too much which is funny to me, maybe he has had a problem with that in the past as well. :)
Rubenstein

 

Re: How much does your therapist talk?

Posted by Annierose on September 30, 2004, at 14:31:58

In reply to Re: How much does your therapist talk?, posted by rubenstein on September 30, 2004, at 14:10:52

I would have to say that I do most of the talking (in between all those awkward silences). But she does bail me out when it gets into minutes of nothingness. I guess if I had to put a percentage, I talk 65 - 70% of the actual "talking time", just ignore the 20% of silence. But when she does speak, it is a question, a reflection of what I said, or a re-direction. What I'm trying to say, it's meaningful.

 

Re: How much does your therapist talk?

Posted by shortelise on September 30, 2004, at 14:53:13

In reply to How much does your therapist talk?, posted by mair on September 30, 2004, at 13:52:37

My guy does talk, and he can be long winded. He knows it, and always stops to ask if it's too much. It is often too much info for me to take in, and I tell him so, I stop him.
I also interrupt him sometimes. It's a conversation, I'm not in school, I can interrupt if I want, and I don't think he thinks it's rude.

All of that said, at first, I found it difficult to deal with, hard to let him know that sometimes it didn't help at all for him to start into long explanations or analysis of things.

Other times, it has been very helpful. Still other times, I have listened to his voice and drawn comfort from the cadence, his presence. I have told him that I didn't absorb any of what he said, but just sat in the comfort of his voice. There have been times, more earlier than now, that I couldn't hear what he was saying - it was too... much.

Hope this is somehow applicable to you.

ShortE

 

When she can get a word in edgewise... mair

Posted by Racer on September 30, 2004, at 14:57:09

In reply to How much does your therapist talk?, posted by mair on September 30, 2004, at 13:52:37

Remember, I can sometimes talk the way I sometimes post...

My therapist doesn't do much talking. Mostly, she'll repeat back to me something she thinks she heard me say, for clarification; or she'll ask me a question, to get me to started in a specific direction; or she will offer her reaction to something I've said; or she will sometimes either ask me to do something specific -- writing assignments, calling to check in with her, or noting what I'm feeling when I eat something that's not part of my normal pattern -- or offer a compliment on something. Mostly, though, she's still in a listening mode.

We haven't been working together very long yet, and I suspect that she will do more talking later, once she has a better picture of what we're dealing with.

Sometimes I wish she would talk more, but mostly it's not a problem. Right now, I've been in a mostly non-communicative sort of phase, so I'm not talking regularly outside of sessions with her or our marriage counselor, and once I get started, it's difficult to stop.

 

Re: When she can get a word in edgewise...

Posted by cubic_me on September 30, 2004, at 17:06:56

In reply to When she can get a word in edgewise... mair, posted by Racer on September 30, 2004, at 14:57:09

My T seems to be similar to shortelise's when it comes to talking. She often talks alot more than me and I go off into a little daze because I can't concentrate for that long. I don't mind it tho' - it gets me off the hook!

 

Re: How much does your therapist talk?

Posted by gardenergirl on September 30, 2004, at 19:44:50

In reply to Re: How much does your therapist talk?, posted by shortelise on September 30, 2004, at 14:53:13

Mine fluctuates. Sometimes he talks more, which can be okay, but is also frustrating when he is going on and on and I think I've got it. Or if he's just off a bit and I want to clarify what I meant before he gets too far into it. Then every once in awhile I will interrupt him. And then I think he realizes that he might be talking too much.

Sometimes, too, I think he does this when he is not as "on" as other times. Sometimes it bothers me, but not enough for me to feel like I should bring it up. I just interrupt. :)

Funny, I talked a lot more in the beginning of my training, too, and I still catch myself sometimes thinking "is that a glazed look in their eyes?...time to wrap it up, girl!"

:)

gg

 

Re: How much does your therapist talk?

Posted by Skittles on September 30, 2004, at 20:31:28

In reply to Re: How much does your therapist talk?, posted by gardenergirl on September 30, 2004, at 19:44:50

It really depends where I am at the time. Right now (like for the past month) I am in a very, very bad place and have completely shut down so she's had to talk a lot. But I've needed that. I hang on every word she says because it's soothing. I used to talk most of the time though.

 

Objectively, not all that much.

Posted by Dinah on September 30, 2004, at 21:00:42

In reply to How much does your therapist talk?, posted by mair on September 30, 2004, at 13:52:37

Not nearly as much as I do.

Subjectively? Sometimes he is maddeningly silent and it makes me furious. Sometimes he talks way too much and I want him to shut up. And sometimes he talks just the right amount, and I feel held and comforted like a baby.

 

Re: How much does your therapist talk? gardenergirl

Posted by mair on September 30, 2004, at 21:20:22

In reply to Re: How much does your therapist talk?, posted by gardenergirl on September 30, 2004, at 19:44:50

" Funny, I talked a lot more in the beginning of my training, too, and I still catch myself sometimes thinking "is that a glazed look in their eyes?...time to wrap it up, girl!" "

I know that look! I think you're going to make a great therapist GG.

Mair

 

Re: How much does your therapist talk? mair

Posted by gardenergirl on September 30, 2004, at 23:50:02

In reply to Re: How much does your therapist talk? gardenergirl, posted by mair on September 30, 2004, at 21:20:22

Thanks for the vote of confidence!
gg

 

Re: How much does your therapist talk? mair

Posted by ghost on October 1, 2004, at 8:17:31

In reply to How much does your therapist talk?, posted by mair on September 30, 2004, at 13:52:37

I dropped a T for talking too much. One of my problems is that I spend too much time listening to other people and not enough time focusing on my own problems. The last thing I needed was some asshat talking to me about his own life and problems while I paid him to do it.

Just my $0.02.


ghost


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