Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 372054

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Re: stopping SI/tipstricks

Posted by rubenstein on July 29, 2004, at 15:04:27

In reply to Re: stopping SI/tipstricks rubenstein, posted by B2chica on July 29, 2004, at 14:29:51

Thanks so much for your suggestions. It is a slippery slope that I think one can too easily fall down. It is nice to know and hear from someone who has also been down the same road and offers some hope. Thanks for your kind words.

 

Re: stopping SI (may trigger) rubenstein

Posted by Klokka on July 29, 2004, at 18:04:54

In reply to stopping SI (may trigger), posted by rubenstein on July 29, 2004, at 13:05:06

Hi Rubenstein, and welcome. It does take a lot of courage to talk about it, even in a setting where it wouldn't be seen as odd. (For lack of a better way of putting that.) I remember it took me a couple of months before I could tell my pdoc I did it, even though he immediately struck me as trustworthy. Thank you for posting and I hope you stick around - Babble's a great place for support.

I haven't been able to stop entirely, but have gone for a month or two at a time without. I don't know whether these will help you, because different things work for different people, but here's a few things which have helped me (some were also posted by B2chica):

Keeping an out whenever possible when a situation looks like it might be triggering. This isn't always possible, but it can give a sense of control over the situation and offer another option if you really can't remain in it.

I find exercise is great when I'm feeling agitated. What I find helps is working out to the point where I just feel like curling up and sleeping afterwards.

Writing is definitely a good idea, because it not only allows you to vent, but provides a record you can check for patterns. Full-out venting is good, and, if it doesn't frustrate you too much, trying to use a form for poetry can serve as a distraction. As with all else, see what works for you. Sometimes it helps to address it to someone, even if you won't actually send it to them.

Caring for pets, if you have any.

If you can, wait it out a bit at a time. The feeling may pass, but even if not I find it helps to break the cycle a little. Try very small intervals if you need to to keep from feeling overwhelmed. Sleep is also good for this, if you can manage it.

If any others come to mind, I'll let you know. This is largely based on my own experience, so your mileage may (will, probably) vary. Hopefully something here's been helpful. Above all, try and see what works for you and whether different things are better for certain situations. Don't try and force yourself past your limits; as B2chica said, it's important to take things one day at a time. Progress can be very slow and painful - I know that even when I went without for a while, I found it so hard to come up with other ways of coping with pain.

Take care, and hope to see you around here!

 

Re: stopping SI (may trigger) rubenstein

Posted by Dinah on July 30, 2004, at 21:40:17

In reply to stopping SI (may trigger), posted by rubenstein on July 29, 2004, at 13:05:06

I haven't completely stopped, I suppose. But I go several months at a time without doing it. I can't offhand remember the last time I did.

The key for me was just my stubborn honor. I, perhaps stupidly, promised my therapist not to do it. He didn't pressure me to promise, it was a gift from me. I can't totally keep my promise, but remembering that I promised does keep me pretty much to the straight and narrow. He doesn't get really angry when I can't keep the promise, which is great, because his anger would be counterproductive. But knowing that I have to tell him is a huge deterrant.

I also use self hypnosis, CBT calming techniques, and klonopin. Last time I had a strong urge, I used the ice trick which worked well. And in the past I've used an ink pen on my arm. But I think the "tricks" only work because of the commitment I made. I didn't want to stop badly enough for myself to put in the trouble to fight the urges.

 

Re: stopping SI (may trigger)

Posted by rubenstein on July 31, 2004, at 9:03:47

In reply to Re: stopping SI (may trigger) rubenstein, posted by Dinah on July 30, 2004, at 21:40:17

Thank you all for your thoughts and suggestions. Maybe a sort of promise thing would work for me as well, but I doubt that I would have the guts to say that to my therapist. I am still so new to this therapy thing that the whole process is rather interesting and scary to me. Anyway, I thank you all for your input and will hopefully chat with you in the future.

 

Re: stopping SI (may trigger) rubenstein

Posted by B2chica on August 1, 2004, at 16:53:56

In reply to Re: stopping SI (may trigger), posted by rubenstein on July 31, 2004, at 9:03:47

>> Maybe a sort of promise thing would work for me as well, but I doubt that I would have the guts to say that to my therapist.

Is there anyone IRL that you are comfortable talking about this with and they know about your SI (AND ARE UNDERSTANDING ABOUT IT) could you use them to practice on? do kind of that report thing?


HOWEVER...VERY IMPORTANT!!!
NEVER EVER feel pressured to do this though. if you make a pact like this and don't truly want to it will be completely counter productive, meaning you break the promise, you feel worse, you SI, you tell, feel worse, SI, you don't tell, feel bad, SI....Wicked cycle.

Be safe and take care.
b2c.

 

Re: stopping SI (may trigger)

Posted by Dinah on August 1, 2004, at 18:22:16

In reply to Re: stopping SI (may trigger) rubenstein, posted by B2chica on August 1, 2004, at 16:53:56

I agree with B2chica. My therapist is very calm on those occasions when I'm unable to keep the promise. That lets me be honest with him. And he often finds some sort of positive in what happened - maybe that SI'd less than I might have in the past, or I tried other coping mechanisms first. That keeps me from piling too much shame on top of the SI.

And if I hadn't offered, it wouldn't have worked at all. I always refused to promise when it wasn't my choice to promise.

 

Re: stopping SI/tipstricks B2chica

Posted by TexasChic on August 3, 2004, at 13:37:15

In reply to Re: stopping SI/tipstricks rubenstein, posted by B2chica on July 29, 2004, at 14:29:51

I was just wondering if you would mind telling me when you began SI. The reason I'm wondering is because I find myself wanting to do it more and more these days. I just feel like that pain would help ease the other pain I feel inside. I've actually thought about what I would use, and where on my body to do it. And I thought of all this before I ever saw this site or anything much about it. I just wondered if it was weird that at 34, I feel like SI all of a sudden. I have done similiar things like clipping my cuticles until they bleed, and I think that's where I go the idea. I also have a problem with picking at any inperfection until it bleeds. Its like I can't stop until I draw blood. It almost feels like I'm punishing myself, like I deserve the pain and the scar left from it. And afterwards I feel relieved, like I've paid a penence.

 

Re: stopping SI/tipstricks

Posted by rubenstein on August 3, 2004, at 14:01:45

In reply to Re: stopping SI/tipstricks B2chica, posted by TexasChic on August 3, 2004, at 13:37:15

"have done similiar things like clipping my cuticles until they bleed, and I think that's where I go the idea. I also have a problem with picking at any inperfection until it bleeds. Its like I can't stop until I draw blood. It almost feels like I'm punishing myself, like I deserve the pain and the scar left from it. And afterwards I feel relieved, like I've paid a penence."


I just started this past year (I am 24) It just happened by accident and unfortuantely I got hooked. I am trying really hard to stop but I definetly know that although it relieves the pain at the moment in the long run it has caused me much more anxiety than any relief that I would have gotten from it at one time. Please take care of yourself, and let me know if I can be of any assistance.
Rubenstein

 

Re: stopping SI/tipstricks TexasChic

Posted by B2chica on August 3, 2004, at 14:04:27

In reply to Re: stopping SI/tipstricks B2chica, posted by TexasChic on August 3, 2004, at 13:37:15

welcome to this (for lack of better word) "unique" club. what you describe below are absolute traits for SI.
my story is quite odd (i think). i first SI'd when i was about 14...13/14, mostly i would cut on my arms/legs but they were usually light, just enough to cause a little blood but would look like "cat scratches" which is exactly what i told my parents. i did this till about 17.-(when consequently i got involved in an abusive relationship-no wonder i stopped??) anyway, during the next 4/5 years i mainly smoked and drank HEAVILY-to me same m.o. for SI. then i didn't start again till last year...the big 3-0. yep, i'm now 31 and ask myself the exact same questions...i feel like i'm childish...thinking "i'm not 15 anymore...i shouldn't be acting this way". but i SI for a couple different reasons (everyone is different) 1) sometimes the emotions are SO intense to commit S. that i "allow" myself to cut but force in different areas- not near wrist -if i can help it. othertimes it's almost as if i have no control-i can get hysterical with anger, pain, hurt, i'm usually bawling and just cut cuz i literally don't know how else to get out of me this emotional pain inside. Othertimes i'm so disgusted with my body (again emotions that i can't contain or understand kick in) and just cut. i too feel i definately deserve this pain and scaring.
Some people actually say that this is a way to show on the outside how much pain we have on the inside. -i think i agree with this.

-i need to head out to my t appt. right now, i'll try to give more info tomorrow.
Please Take Care TC.
No matter how you SI, keep it clean (disinfect)-take care you.
b2c.

> I was just wondering if you would mind telling me when you began SI. The reason I'm wondering is because I find myself wanting to do it more and more these days. I just feel like that pain would help ease the other pain I feel inside. I've actually thought about what I would use, and where on my body to do it. And I thought of all this before I ever saw this site or anything much about it. I just wondered if it was weird that at 34, I feel like SI all of a sudden. I have done similiar things like clipping my cuticles until they bleed, and I think that's where I go the idea. I also have a problem with picking at any inperfection until it bleeds. Its like I can't stop until I draw blood. It almost feels like I'm punishing myself, like I deserve the pain and the scar left from it. And afterwards I feel relieved, like I've paid a penence.

 

Re: stopping SI/tipstricks

Posted by TexasChic on August 3, 2004, at 14:52:55

In reply to Re: stopping SI/tipstricks TexasChic, posted by B2chica on August 3, 2004, at 14:04:27

Thanks you guys. I've always suspected some of the things I've done were SI. I just wasn't sure because I didn't use a razor or cut just plain old skin. It always starts with a jagged cuticle or mosquito bite or scab. Then I mess with it until it bleeds. I know I have been very ashamed of my scabby inflamed cuticles and all the spots and scabs on my legs. I've been doing this for years. Its only recently that I've thought, if I just took a razor and made a shallow cut, it would somehow let the pain out, and be the more intense pain I'm craving. This weekend was so bad, I thought about it alot. But I just got blotto drunk instead. I'm glad I'm seeing my T today.

 

Re: STOPPING SI TexasChic

Posted by B2chica on August 4, 2004, at 9:08:55

In reply to Re: stopping SI/tipstricks, posted by TexasChic on August 3, 2004, at 14:52:55

>>Its only recently that I've thought, if I just took a razor and made a shallow cut, it would somehow let the pain out, and be the more intense pain I'm craving. This weekend was so bad, I thought about it alot. But I just got blotto drunk instead. I'm glad I'm seeing my T today.

I don't normally say this but i'm glad you got smashed instead. How'd your' appt. go? did you discuss your urge to SI with your T? PLEASE DO! Do this sooner rather than later.

I would reallly like to add a few statements to my earlier comments. Sometimes skin picking can also follow along lines of OCD. sometimes OCD alone and othertimes crossing with SI. however from the emotions you describe and why you do it i think there might be a combination of both but more weighted with SI -with even a dash of body image issues tossed in for good measure-(don't mean to make light of this).
I would like to strongly urge you fight as hard as you can to not make that first cut. Please TexasChic. I'm not sure if it's with everyone, but for me it's become an almost addictive, and it's something i turn to all too often. i mean, mostly i use it as last resort and sometimes i do it cuz it's all i can do...but I think if you can avoid that first cut...
just be very careful here i think it's a very fine line between "saving" us and pushing us down a spiraling path.

-and i wouldn't suggest using a razor, you could go quite deep real easy with one of those and you don't want to do any permanant damage, you could cut muscle or tendons or something like that.

Please, Please be careful.
My thoughts and prayers are with you TC.
Here is me sending you cyber strength to battle off that first nick.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
b2c.


 

Re: STOPPING SI B2chica

Posted by TexasChic on August 4, 2004, at 14:34:41

In reply to Re: STOPPING SI TexasChic, posted by B2chica on August 4, 2004, at 9:08:55

Thanks for your concern B2chica. I always thought the picking thing was OCD, but somewhere along the line I felt like it turned into SI. But I haven't given into the urge to cut yet, and I will give it my best not to. I appreciate you telling me your viewpoint from the perspective of a cutter.

I didn't get to talk to my T about it because I had so much other crap going on. I feel like my OCD is getting worse, but my T says I can't get wrapped up in it and use it as an excuse. The thing is, my Dad had a severe case of OCD, as well as who knows what, and he was completely nuts. So it bothered me that she wouldn't acknowledge it because I'm so scared I'm going crazy like my Dad. I guess she thinks I'm a hypocondriac or something. Maybe I am, who knows? I guess I'll talk to my Pdoc about it next month at my appt she's always understanding.

Anyway, I may not be posting too often until I get my computer set up at home. There are some things going on here at work. I'll check in when I can though.

 

Re: stopping SI (may trigger) rubenstein

Posted by terrics on August 4, 2004, at 19:20:59

In reply to stopping SI (may trigger), posted by rubenstein on July 29, 2004, at 13:05:06

Hi and welcome. I have stopped for 3and 1/2 weeks because I am doing dbt. The dbt skills do not prevent me from cutting, but if I cut, the therapist will not allow me to talk about anything but si for the next session. What happened was that was all we talked about and I was not learning anything useful so I stopped si because I WANT TO GET BETTER! terrics

 

Re: stopping SI terrics

Posted by partlycloudy on August 4, 2004, at 19:36:25

In reply to Re: stopping SI (may trigger) rubenstein, posted by terrics on August 4, 2004, at 19:20:59

That is an incredibly powerful statement - "I want to get better". What a beautiful post to read! : )

 

Re: stopping SI (may trigger) terrics

Posted by B2chica on August 5, 2004, at 9:23:25

In reply to Re: stopping SI (may trigger) rubenstein, posted by terrics on August 4, 2004, at 19:20:59

> Hi and welcome. I have stopped for 3and 1/2 weeks

That's awesome! sometimes that can feel like a lifetime.

and pc is absolutely right- those are Fantastic and Powerful words you say! Good for you terrics.
b2c.

 

Re: stopping SI (may trigger)

Posted by TexasChic on August 5, 2004, at 11:11:03

In reply to Re: stopping SI (may trigger) rubenstein, posted by terrics on August 4, 2004, at 19:20:59

May I ask, what is dbt? I know PC is doing EMDR, which I think stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. I've heard of CBT, which is cognitive behavior therapy. But I can't find a definition for dbt. And can anyone explain what the difference is between all of these? Thanks!

 

Re: stopping SI (may trigger) TexasChic

Posted by B2chica on August 5, 2004, at 11:29:07

In reply to Re: stopping SI (may trigger), posted by TexasChic on August 5, 2004, at 11:11:03

Good Questions.
Dialectical Behavioral Therapy
http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/dbt.html

i personally don't know, but i looked it up one time. i would like to hear more personal comments on this type of therapy.
b2c.


> May I ask, what is dbt? I know PC is doing EMDR, which I think stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. I've heard of CBT, which is cognitive behavior therapy. But I can't find a definition for dbt. And can anyone explain what the difference is between all of these? Thanks!

 

Re: stopping SI (may trigger) B2chica

Posted by TexasChic on August 5, 2004, at 15:20:28

In reply to Re: stopping SI (may trigger) TexasChic, posted by B2chica on August 5, 2004, at 11:29:07

Thanks for the link! Its all very interesting. I'd like to try the CBT for my OCD, depression, and anxiety. I guess I'll ask my T about it next appt.
On another note, while reading that link I got to reading aobut Borderline Personality Disorder. Now, I question myself endlessly as to whether I'm a hypocodriac, but this time all the symptoms just stood out to me dramatically in reference to the difficulty I have with friendships. It kind of shocked me. I just feel so messed up right now. I'm afraid I may be losing my mind. Wait, is that even possible? I guess it all comes down to some disorder or another. But I just feel so overwhelmed lately.

 

Re: stopping SI (may trigger)

Posted by terrics on August 5, 2004, at 15:50:51

In reply to Re: stopping SI (may trigger) TexasChic, posted by B2chica on August 5, 2004, at 11:29:07

Hi B2 chica, The dbt program involves a therapist who asks a million questions, corrects you if you are judgemental to yourself or others, wears you out when you si again by asking a million questions and expecting answers. However she does give clues. It is nothing like I have ever done before. You do not dig deep into your past, but you discuss it a little. She helps you learn how to relate to people, but you really have to figure it out yourself. On another day you have group. They teach you the same stuff...how to relate and interact, how to regulate your emotions, how to tolerate stress and more. First I thought it was hokey, but I am learning alot. It is used for borderlines and is supposed to be very effective. Also, the therapist plays mental games with you which I did not understand at first.[She was making faces and I realized she was copying my faces]. Sometimes she even scolds me. UGH! If you have questions please ask. terrics yahoo email: dogsandcatsmany@yahoo.com

 

Re: stopping SI (may trigger) TexasChic

Posted by B2chica on August 5, 2004, at 18:56:46

In reply to Re: stopping SI (may trigger) B2chica, posted by TexasChic on August 5, 2004, at 15:20:28

wow, so glad i'm not alone here. i've been noticing these little "hills" of emotion i've been going on this last two weeks and i can tell it's different from my bipolar switches. I suspected BPD and read that website and a few others.
i remember my pdoc while i was in the hospital gave me some pamphlets on BPD, she never said i am but i got those pamphlets (i assumed it was because they had finally seen my scars-very obvious SI and i made an attempt at my life the night before) but i didn't think any more about it. but after these two weeks it was in my mind again (i think after i took that quiz that someone posted here showing i was moderate with BPD -or was it in social...man my memory is horrible) anyway i thought i'd ask my T about it. So i did on tuesday. I think he was actually surprised that i was so blunt about it. i asked if he had Dx that were sent to him on me? and i asked if it included BPD then mentioned the hospital stuff, and we started talking about it. how i think i may have some traits (yet many i did not) but wanted to know what he thought. we spent a good amount of time talking about that but i'd like to talk more with him, cuz with bipolar meds help...and well, do meds help with BPD? what can i do to change these extreme feelings of worthlessness and shame that come about over nothing? it's bad enough i have depression but this is so intense i hate it.

I wish you all the luck. my best suggestion is keep reading, and ask your T questions?? though i have read that a lot of therapists won't even deal with people who are BPD. i guess they don't know how to cope with the extremes or the SI or something?? and it seems like there is even a big questions mark over the whole diagnosis. My T said that there is so much crossover with other Dx that's BPD is one of those things that (in his experience) isn't like you have this symptom and this one so you are BPD, it mearly a possibility for the T to keep in their mind in terms of how to approach and best work with a client.

Take care TexasChica!
and i've been losing my mind as long as i can remember but it keeps coming back! d@mn it! the things shot and i want a new one! maybe i can find one on ebay??
B2c.


>> On another note, while reading that link I got to reading aobut Borderline Personality Disorder. Now, I question myself endlessly as to whether I'm a hypocodriac, but this time all the symptoms just stood out to me dramatically in reference to the difficulty I have with friendships. It kind of shocked me. I just feel so messed up right now. I'm afraid I may be losing my mind. Wait, is that even possible? I guess it all comes down to some disorder or another. But I just feel so overwhelmed lately.

 

Re: stopping SI (may trigger) terrics

Posted by B2chica on August 5, 2004, at 19:04:58

In reply to Re: stopping SI (may trigger), posted by terrics on August 5, 2004, at 15:50:51

from what you describe...with my temper (right now i'm dealing with a lot of anger-i'm not even sure why) i don't think they'd like me too well. ;^)

But Actually what i'm thinking is maybe this would be something for me to use on my way out of therapy? what do you think?

Right now, i have a lot of demons that i need to dig up and face head on. once that's done it might work for me to try dbt to edge out of my SI. Until then...as bad as this sounds, i need it. i know it's what's kept me waking up every morning, maybe not necessarily even doing it, but knowing it's there. (i don't think i'd ever say that to anyone on the outside...they would lock me up for sure)

thanks! for the support (((((terrics))))) you're terrific. how is it working for you? do you like it?
B2c.

 

Re: stopping SI (may trigger) B2chica

Posted by terrics on August 5, 2004, at 20:46:43

In reply to Re: stopping SI (may trigger) terrics, posted by B2chica on August 5, 2004, at 19:04:58

Hi again, DBT HELPS big time with the anger. Can I ask if you are borderline? If not, that is ok.don't answer. Hope things look up for you soon. terrics

 

Re: stopping SI (may trigger)

Posted by JenStar on August 6, 2004, at 1:01:08

In reply to Re: stopping SI (may trigger) B2chica, posted by TexasChic on August 5, 2004, at 15:20:28

hi Texas Chic,
to me it sounds like the worsening of your current physical symptoms is coming from the job, (from other posts you've written) since the onset seems to mirror the huge job stress you're going through.

I'd be willing to bet that once you resolve the work issues successfully, your OCD and other stuff will subside. Does that sound right at all? What do you think?

You said that your T believes you are using OCD as an excuse for issues. Has your T offered advice on how to counteract that, if it turns out to be true? What do you think about that? Any truth to it?

Anyway, I hope things are getting better for you. Keep us updated on the events. I care, and I hope to hear good things from you!

JenStar

 

Re: stopping SI (may trigger)

Posted by TexasChic on August 6, 2004, at 8:34:59

In reply to Re: stopping SI (may trigger) TexasChic, posted by B2chica on August 5, 2004, at 18:56:46

Hey everyone! I'm doing much better today. I feel like I've been able to wrap my mind around everything and handle it. Like I said in social, another crisis weathered through the help of babble. Thanks for everyone's support.
The DBT sounds like it could be just what I need! I'll have to look into that. Either that or CBT. Man, we certainly live in a world of acronyms don't we?
Well I better get to work. I'll be talking with yall later.

 

Re: stopping SI (may trigger) terrics

Posted by B2chica on August 6, 2004, at 9:02:56

In reply to Re: stopping SI (may trigger) B2chica, posted by terrics on August 5, 2004, at 20:46:43

of course you can ask terrics. but i'm not sure. i posted a reply to TC above that kind of talks about it. i was given some pamphlets of BPD while i was in the hospital but my pdoc NEVER uttered those words to me. i took that one online quiz that i think said i was moderate BPD, but that's no Dx. So i've started to talk with my T about it...but we had some other stuff to discuss as well, so we only talked about it for about 15min- so although i do show some traits, it's such a blurry line just not sure.

And i've actually been pretty stable this last week! i'm real happy about that. Actually able to function well at work again.(except for me getting on babble...;^) ooops, but i need that too!
THANKS for the info terrics...Take Care!
B2c.


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