Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 332765

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Re: attempt to exscape (may trigger)

Posted by EmmyS on April 5, 2004, at 11:14:20

In reply to Re: attempt to exscape (may trigger) toomuchpain, posted by terrics on April 5, 2004, at 9:21:28

Lynn - Thank you so much for letting us know. Take care of yourself during this difficult time. I hope you have someone to talk with about everything going on in your life.

TMP - Hugs to you from all your Babble friends. We care so much about you and want you to find your way out of the darkness back to happiness. I know it will happen for you. Sure wish I could reach through this screen and hug you!

Emmy

 

Re: attempt to exscape (may trigger) toomuchpain

Posted by tinydancer on April 5, 2004, at 11:28:15

In reply to attempt to exscape (may trigger), posted by toomuchpain on April 5, 2004, at 1:48:14

This is so devastating. My heart is just breaking. I'm so sorry that it came to this. Lynn, please send her my love and let her know we are waiting for her with open arms when she is ready or willing to return here. I'm sorry you had to go through this, I'm sure you have been suffering as well. Thank you for keeping us updated.

 

Re: attempt to exscape (may trigger)

Posted by Joslynn on April 5, 2004, at 11:39:14

In reply to Re: attempt to exscape (may trigger) toomuchpain, posted by tinydancer on April 5, 2004, at 11:28:15

Oh I am so sorry this happened but maybe it is the darkness before the light.

I hope she comes back soon and got good help in the hospital.

 

Re: attempt to exscape (may trigger) toomuchpain

Posted by Fallen4myT on April 5, 2004, at 12:20:13

In reply to attempt to exscape (may trigger), posted by toomuchpain on April 5, 2004, at 1:48:14

Lynn thank God she is OK and I will with many others I am sure be praying for her and looking forward to her return. How NICE of you to post for her to let us know and how SWEET of her to even think of us at this time..God Bless

 

Dangers of complaining about your therapist

Posted by pinkeye on April 5, 2004, at 15:02:10

In reply to Re: attempt to exscape (may trigger) toomuchpain, posted by Fallen4myT on April 5, 2004, at 12:20:13

Hi Toomuchpain,
I am so sorry you are in such a pain. I hope and pray that you feel better.
You probably did this because of feeling guilty about complaining about your old T. Don't feel guilty about it. You did the right thing, though at that time when you were pondering whether to complain or not, I was about to advise you not to do it, since you are not stable emotionally to handle all the stress that comes with it. And seeing the overwhelming support that you got, I kept silent. I feel bad for that now. I hope you get well.
Maybe people who think of complaining about therapist's bad behaviors should wait till they feel emotionally strong before they do it.

 

Re: attempt to exscape (may trigger) toomuchpain

Posted by Raindancer on April 5, 2004, at 15:42:42

In reply to attempt to exscape (may trigger), posted by toomuchpain on April 5, 2004, at 1:48:14

TMP - So sorry you have been so unhappy - you are in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for letting us know - it shows how wonderful you are that you thought of others when you were going through such awful pain. Really pleased you will soon be home and look forward to 'talking' with you again. You are much loved.

Raindancer

 

Re: attempt to exscape (may trigger)

Posted by pegasus on April 5, 2004, at 15:49:12

In reply to attempt to exscape (may trigger), posted by toomuchpain on April 5, 2004, at 1:48:14

Yes, Lynn, please tell her that we are all thinking about her and wishing/praying with all our might that things turn out well for her.

Tmp, I know you've been through so much lately, and have been so strong. I am crying for you that it has come to this. I hope along with everyone else that it only gets better (quickly) from here, and that you are getting the care that you need.

(((tmp))) (((lynn)))

- p

 

Re: attempt to exscape (may trigger)

Posted by rainyday on April 5, 2004, at 15:58:19

In reply to attempt to exscape (may trigger), posted by toomuchpain on April 5, 2004, at 1:48:14

TMP, you are loved and we are waiting to hear how you are.

Lynn, thank you so much for keeping us informed. Please send your daughter our hugs and well wishes.

rainyday

 

Re: attempt to exscape (may trigger) toomuchpain

Posted by karen_kay on April 5, 2004, at 19:11:37

In reply to attempt to exscape (may trigger), posted by toomuchpain on April 5, 2004, at 1:48:14

take care too much pain. i hope you find the strength you have that is inside you. take care of yourself. (((too much pain)))

 

back from the hospital (may trigger)

Posted by toomuchpain on April 6, 2004, at 1:36:47

In reply to Re: attempt to exscape (may trigger) toomuchpain, posted by karen_kay on April 5, 2004, at 19:11:37

hey hey everyone ... i hope everything is good with you all ... i know my mom posted on here for me to let everyone know what is goin on ...well i overdosed on pills theyh ad to pump my stomcah i slit my wrist...
i am sorry to everyone that had faith in me that i was strong i fell apart my former t contacted me and i lost all will to live ...i wish i would have not been so week and fragaile but now i feel bit more stronger..my mind still is not right .. i want to just yell and scream at him!!!!!!!! i am goign to contining postinghere because of the suppost i recive from everyone here and even know i have never meant any if you guys i feel like i have some really good friends here ... thank you all i love you guys!!!!!!!

 

Re: back from the hospital (may trigger) toomuchpain

Posted by EmmyS on April 6, 2004, at 6:39:59

In reply to back from the hospital (may trigger), posted by toomuchpain on April 6, 2004, at 1:36:47

I'm so glad you wrote! And I'm glad you are out of the hospital and back home in your own bed eating your mom's food.

I just can hardly believe that your T contacted you again. You poor dear. After everything you've been through already! No wonder you became so depressed. It's so much for one person to bare.

You hang on. It will get better. It will be in the past soon enough. Please rest and take care of yourself. Make a list of things you enjoy doing, and start doing them. Take care!!

Emmy

 

Welcome Back! toomuchpain

Posted by Joslynn on April 6, 2004, at 6:43:04

In reply to back from the hospital (may trigger), posted by toomuchpain on April 6, 2004, at 1:36:47

Hi TMP!

The important thing is that you are alive. I am so glad you are back. Was the hospital helpful? How was that?

Grrr, I am so mad at your former T! I know that people are sue happy in this country, but I think you would have a completely valid case here.

Did you tell the board? I thought that he was not supposed to contact you. He is obviously a sick person and you are healthier than him in many ways. The sad thing is, he hurt you but you are hurting yourself, and you deserve better!

Is your new therapist apprised of what happened and that you are out of the hospital now?

Well, I am probably overwhelming you with questions. Really all you have to worry about now is taking care of yourself...and putting a call block on your phone. I don't know how to do that, but you can look in the phone book or call your phone company.

I think your survived for a reason. God wants you here and we want you here.

((((TooMuchPain))))

 

Re: back from the hospital (may trigger) toomuchpain

Posted by Dinah on April 6, 2004, at 8:34:44

In reply to back from the hospital (may trigger), posted by toomuchpain on April 6, 2004, at 1:36:47

I'm glad you're home and safe. Please do what you need to do to keep it that way. Call blocking or whatever is needed.

 

aww love you too and so glad you're back toomuchpain

Posted by Fallen4myT on April 6, 2004, at 10:43:19

In reply to back from the hospital (may trigger), posted by toomuchpain on April 6, 2004, at 1:36:47

Now I hope you reported that T for contacting you again..maybe get a restraining order. Your mom is cool btw, if mine were still alive she would not know how to use a puter...too techie...HUGS

 

Re: back from the hospital (may trigger) toomuchpain

Posted by Raindancer on April 6, 2004, at 14:10:28

In reply to back from the hospital (may trigger), posted by toomuchpain on April 6, 2004, at 1:36:47

So glad you're home and that you're feeling a fair bit better. This has nothing to do with being strong. You have been strong and very brave, but a person can only take so much. Now you are through this make sure you are safe and look after yourself well. In time you will put this right behind you and move on. All the very best. So good you're back. Raindancer.

 

Re: back from the hospital (may trigger) EmmyS

Posted by fallsfall on April 6, 2004, at 14:28:22

In reply to Re: back from the hospital (may trigger) toomuchpain, posted by EmmyS on April 6, 2004, at 6:39:59

I'm glad that you are back!

You were still incredibly strong to go through the hearing.

I can understand why hearing from him again would be very hard. Please do report this to the board. He needs to be stopped.

Can you tell yourself that if he calls again you will hang up? Or if you see him, you will turn around and walk away? Sometimes if I make a big deal out of planning these things it helps, because then when the situation happens you don't have to think and decide what to do.

Glad to have you back.

 

Re: back from the hospital (may trigger)

Posted by DaisyM on April 6, 2004, at 18:19:52

In reply to back from the hospital (may trigger), posted by toomuchpain on April 6, 2004, at 1:36:47

Welcome back and I'm glad you are OK. Please gather the strength you need from all of us. We are here for you.

Take it slow and remember to breathe.
Daisy

 

Re: back from the hospital (may trigger)

Posted by gardenergirl on April 6, 2004, at 21:54:12

In reply to Re: back from the hospital (may trigger), posted by DaisyM on April 6, 2004, at 18:19:52

I'm glad you are home. Welcome back to Babble. I'm glad this is a source of support for you. It is for me too, and I agree, it's pretty amazing considering we'all have never met face to face. But we do care about you, and we're glad you are safe and home.

Please take care of yourself and allow yourself to be taken care of if that feels right for you.

(((tmp)))

gg

 

Re: back from the hospital (may trigger) toomuchpain

Posted by All Done on April 7, 2004, at 1:58:05

In reply to back from the hospital (may trigger), posted by toomuchpain on April 6, 2004, at 1:36:47

toomuchpain,

I'm sorry you've had to deal with so much lately, but I'm glad you've made it back here.

Take care of yourself and let us know what you need.

All Done

 

Re: back from the hospital (may trigger)

Posted by toomuchpain on April 8, 2004, at 0:34:13

In reply to Re: back from the hospital (may trigger) toomuchpain, posted by All Done on April 7, 2004, at 1:58:05

well it has been a few days since i posted in here i guess i have been getting things str8 in my head i am still kinda foggy and distoted if u know what i mean.... just to let everyone know that i wasnt trying to kill myself i was trying to kill the pain on the inside by hurting myself on the outside and on the inside.... the pain got way to much to handle and it just isnt getting better !!!

my former t called me and i spoke to him about what he is doing to me basically i told him that i couldnt handle that pain from him callin me and that he needs to stop ... he said he never meant to hurt me but he is worried about me ...i dont understand ... if he is so worried about me why cant he underdstand that he is the one causing my pain ....that if he would leave me alone and let me move on withm y life things would get better for me..he should have never started the termintion thing awhile ago if he was so worried about me dont u think ??

i dont know what i ever did to him or anyone else for that matter to make this happen to me !!!i never wanted to hurt him through the whole grivence thing... alll i wanted was for him to learn a lesson before he got his self in worst trouble ... i guess i am just a bad person .... i gave my all to him my trust my heart my soul... and he has torn it apart time after time ... it is not fair.... maybe i am just going crazy ... or maybe i already am .. who knows... i want to say that things are going to get better but for now i cant say that cus i think it is only going tog et worse

 

Re: back from the hospital (may trigger) toomuchpain

Posted by fallsfall on April 8, 2004, at 7:17:22

In reply to Re: back from the hospital (may trigger), posted by toomuchpain on April 8, 2004, at 0:34:13

>the pain got way to much to handle and it just isnt getting better !!!

*** I'm sorry that you have to deal with such pain. And you are probably right, that it's not ready to disappear. Please try to keep a realistic view on what has happened, and let the blame fall where it belongs.
>
> my former t called me and i spoke to him about what he is doing to me basically i told him that i couldnt handle that pain from him callin me and that he needs to stop ... he said he never meant to hurt me but he is worried about me ...i dont understand ... if he is so worried about me why cant he underdstand that he is the one causing my pain ....that if he would leave me alone and let me move on withm y life things would get better for me..he should have never started the termintion thing awhile ago if he was so worried about me dont u think ??

*** Absolutely. You are seeing this VERY clearly. He is WRONG to call you. He has BIG BIG problems of his own (emotional problems - I'm not talking about him being suspended from his job). Try to see that these are HIS problems (that are causing you pain). You have done the right thing. You are looking in the right direction.

*** Can you decide that you will not have contact with him? The clinic has already said that he should not contact you - that should help you to know that it is GOOD if you do not allow any contact. Can you tell yourself that if he calls again, that you will hang up? Do you have caller ID? Can you let your answering machine answer the calls until you know who is calling? But if you can decide that you DO NOT WANT TO LISTEN to anything he says, then you will be better able to protect yourself. If he calls and you answer - hang up immediately. Don't tell him not to call you, don't tell him that he is hurting you, don't tell him you are going to hang up - just hang up the phone as quickly as you can. If he leaves a message on your answering machine, as soon as you know it is from him, delete the message. Please try NOT to listen to the message - just delete it. The Clinic said that he wasn't supposed to contact you - You can help that happen by disconnecting if he does contact you. Hang up or delete immediately!! And then call the person from the review board and report that he contacted you again, and that you want it to stop.

*** If you can talk this through many times, then you will be better able to act quickly - before his voice has a chance to lure you in. You KNOW what is good for you. Set up your own boundaries and enforce them. You can take care of yourself by denying him access to you.
>
> i dont know what i ever did to him or anyone else for that matter to make this happen to me !!!i never wanted to hurt him through the whole grivence thing... alll i wanted was for him to learn a lesson before he got his self in worst trouble ... i guess i am just a bad person .... i gave my all to him my trust my heart my soul... and he has torn it apart time after time ... it is not fair.... maybe i am just going crazy ... or maybe i already am .. who knows... i want to say that things are going to get better but for now i cant say that cus i think it is only going tog et worse

*** Toomuchpain. You did NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING wrong. You didn't want to hurt him. You behaved as a patient is supposed to behave. You did the right things. HE did the WRONG thing - this is HIS responsibility, not yours. He behaved unethically (and continues to be unethical). You did the RIGHT thing to file the grievance - the committee TOLD YOU THAT YOU DID THE RIGHT THING. He hurt you, and he has probably hurt others before you. He was in a position of trust and he violated that trust. It was very brave for you to file the grievance, and it is TOTALLY unfair for you to be suffering still. The fact that you are still suffering just underlines that HE is trying to HURT YOU. And you certainly don't deserve to be hurt. You are NOT bad - it seems to me that you are very good. You cared enough about other people to go through the pain of the grievance process. Please know that you are a good person.

*** I wish I could tell you that it will get better starting right now. It will start getting better when HE starts to behave himself. He is hurting you, and HE has hurt himself. You were his patient, and he didn't take care of you. You did nothing wrong. But, Toomuchpain, I DO TRULY believe that it WILL get better for you. Because you seem like a really good person. When he stops trying to hurt you, then you can start to heal.

*** Keep the clinic informed about when he contacts you. Call your new therapist when you are distressed - I would think that it would be fair for you to call her everytime he calls YOU. Don't suffer alone. And please remember that this is HIS issue, not yours - and it is so unfair for you to have to bear this pain for HIS issue.

*** HANG UP, DELETE HIS MESSAGES. I'm cheering you on.

 

Re: back from the hospital (may trigger)

Posted by EmmyS on April 8, 2004, at 10:29:11

In reply to Re: back from the hospital (may trigger), posted by toomuchpain on April 8, 2004, at 0:34:13

Falls is so right. He's like a big bottle of scotch to a recovering alcoholic. Best to avoid at all cost.

Can you tell us what help you are getting now that you are at home? How often are you seeing a therapist? It sounds like you're really needing lots of support right now. You aren't "going crazy", you are just under so so so much pressure - any one of us Babblers would blow a gasket too. You need to let off some steam and talking, shouting, hollering with a good therapist..more than once a week for 50 min. seems like a good idea. Is that possible for you?

And what else are you doing with your time? Just wandering around your head all day, especially if alone, isn't healthy for anyone. Are you able to get any exercise, if that's something you enjoy? Some people find it help to relieve stress. Mostly, I'm hoping you are able to talk to professionals about what's going on. Are you??

Take care. We are all pulling for you!

Emmy

 

support groups? church?

Posted by joslynn on April 8, 2004, at 10:50:43

In reply to Re: back from the hospital (may trigger), posted by EmmyS on April 8, 2004, at 10:29:11

Those are two things that helped me after I got out of the hospital, TooMuch.

 

Re: back from the hospital (may trigger) toomuchpain

Posted by Raindancer on April 8, 2004, at 19:23:02

In reply to Re: back from the hospital (may trigger), posted by toomuchpain on April 8, 2004, at 0:34:13

I'm so sorry this doesn't go away. As Fallen and Emmy have said so well, it's totally not your fault. You have been unlucky enough to meet with a T who has so many problems of his own that he can't get them out of the way in order to help you. He has behaved, and is continuing to behave in a way that is dishonourable, unprofessional and plain hurtful. You have bravely done the right thing in all of this and should be rightly proud of your dignified and couragious behaviour. Make sure you feel as safe and warm as you can after all you have been through. Rely on those who have proved trustworthy and gather strength from day to day. You will get through this - not today and not tomorrow, but it will happen. Your good heart and character shine through and all of us here see it. May you be blessed with all that brings you good health and peace of mind and soul. You deserve the best. So hard not to be able to do more to help, but my thoughts and prayers are for you.

Raindancer

 

Re: back from the hospital (may trigger) Toomuchp

Posted by Raindancer on April 8, 2004, at 19:29:51

In reply to Re: back from the hospital (may trigger) toomuchpain, posted by Raindancer on April 8, 2004, at 19:23:02

Apologies - I meant Falls not Fallen in previous post- sorry to both. It's 1.30 a.m. here. Time I went to bed I think ....


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