Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 330863

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Re: HOLIDAYS AND VACATIONS :-( Fallen4myT

Posted by fallsfall on April 1, 2004, at 8:43:37

In reply to Re: HOLIDAYS AND VACATIONS :-( fallsfall, posted by Fallen4myT on March 31, 2004, at 21:22:48

The only thing that has allowed me to even marginally survive through vacations is that I know very strongly (intellectually) that he DESERVES a vacation. And that he NEEDS a vacation. This is the one time when his needs come before mine. He puts my needs first all the rest of the time, so when he's on vacation I try my very hardest NOT to fall apart - because to me if I fall apart I am saying that he can NEVER put his needs first, and I don't think that is a fair thing to say.

In the past, I have scheduled sessions with (present or past) group leaders. Or even with other professionals who "help" me (pdoc, GP, accountant, lawyer). This makes me feel more "taken care of", so I can survive not having my therapist take care of me better.

And, of course, Post early and often to Babble - we will try to fill the gap for you.

 

Re: HOLIDAYS AND VACATIONS :-(

Posted by DaisyM on April 1, 2004, at 11:07:53

In reply to HOLIDAYS AND VACATIONS :-(, posted by Fallen4myT on March 31, 2004, at 13:17:40

I'm sorry you are missing your Therapist. That is so hard.
Last year mine went away for 2 weeks, which means I didn't see him for 3. But after the first week, I found this sense of relief to know that I could put stuff away and not have to drag it out for awhile. This was before we really got into the intense stuff so I'm waiting to see how this year feels. Especially since I'm going more often right now and am so much more attached.

Go shopping and spend the money on shoes!

 

Re: HOLIDAYS AND VACATIONS :-(/ plus ps Fallen4myT

Posted by terrics on April 1, 2004, at 16:25:31

In reply to Re: HOLIDAYS AND VACATIONS :-(/ plus ps terrics, posted by Fallen4myT on March 31, 2004, at 18:09:05

I think I have to rescind my previous post. T. is leaving tomorrow. I did not want a session this week to see if I would be ok without her. Well I am not. I want to call her now. Please, someone talk me out of calling if you are on here before I call. This is not healthy. How am I going to give her up? UGH terrics

 

Re: HOLIDAYS AND VACATIONS :-(/ plus ps terrics

Posted by Fallen4myT on April 1, 2004, at 16:55:11

In reply to Re: HOLIDAYS AND VACATIONS :-(/ plus ps Fallen4myT, posted by terrics on April 1, 2004, at 16:25:31

WOW I am behind and am the worse person to say do not call BUT what would you say to her? Can you say it here instead? TELL us or email yourself....??

 

Re: HOLIDAYS AND VACATIONS :-( DaisyM

Posted by Fallen4myT on April 1, 2004, at 17:00:18

In reply to Re: HOLIDAYS AND VACATIONS :-(, posted by DaisyM on April 1, 2004, at 11:07:53

Thanks Daisy but see the thing with me is..I am a need to get it out kind of girl and I dont want to put things away....Heck I am full of stuff I have had to stuff and even now as I type this I am so mad at my husband and..have to stuff it..T is my only release....and lol yeah shoes would be nice...I need a navy blue skirt but have shopped till I dropped not long ago and am in a cash bind so I will just be sitting by myself day and night hubby here or not..alone...unheard and frustrated as heck.....but I DID see a cute pair of shoes in amagazine by Nine West....heels with dots..and they tie above the ankle...that would be cute as can be :)

 

Re: HOLIDAYS AND VACATIONS :-( fallsfall

Posted by Fallen4myT on April 1, 2004, at 17:03:26

In reply to Re: HOLIDAYS AND VACATIONS :-( Fallen4myT, posted by fallsfall on April 1, 2004, at 8:43:37

Hey Falls....I know he more than deserves it and last I saw him I tried to act well so he would go in peace and have some well deserved fun....but still :-( and yeah thats smart on the appointments with doctors and all....but I am caught up on that Ill have to think of something...or just get and stay high..wish I could sleep the whole weelk or so.....dont have enough Ambein for that lol

 

Re: HOLIDAYS AND VACATIONS :-( / way :-( Fallen4myT

Posted by Fallen4myT on April 2, 2004, at 0:06:51

In reply to HOLIDAYS AND VACATIONS :-(, posted by Fallen4myT on March 31, 2004, at 13:17:40

Man this seems like crawling through quicksand....I aint sure I can make it till T comes back without going crazier :*(

 

Re: HOLIDAYS AND VACATIONS :-( / way :-( Fallen4myT

Posted by fallsfall on April 2, 2004, at 6:12:52

In reply to Re: HOLIDAYS AND VACATIONS :-( / way :-( Fallen4myT, posted by Fallen4myT on April 2, 2004, at 0:06:51

Write a letter to her telling him what you would like to say if you could see him (you probably don't want to send it, but writing it can help).

What would he say to you if you talked to him on the phone? Can you imagine both halves of the conversation?

If you told him how much you were missing him, what would he suggest you do? Try doing it - knowing that it is what he would suggest may make it more satisfying.

Imagine what he is doing on his vacation. Tell him that you hope he is having a good time and that he deserves the vacation because he works so hard the rest of the time. Tell him that you will take deep breaths and try to keep occupied so that he can enjoy his time off.

Get your hair done, or have a massage, or something like that where someone takes care of you.

When do you see him again?

Hang in there! Post often!

 

Re: HOLIDAYS AND VACATIONS :-( / way :-( Fallen4myT

Posted by Dinah on April 2, 2004, at 6:53:46

In reply to Re: HOLIDAYS AND VACATIONS :-( / way :-( Fallen4myT, posted by Fallen4myT on April 2, 2004, at 0:06:51

You can do it. I know you can! It may not be pleasant, but you can do it and do it without acting out. And your therapist will be so pleased with you for it! Mine generally is. At least he is when I make sure I tell him when he comes back. (OK, I'm no saint.)

Oh heavens, I sound like my therapist. He was cheerleading me on Tuesday. I hope it's out of his system.

 

Re: HOLIDAYS AND VACATIONS :-( / way :-( fallsfall

Posted by Fallen4myT on April 2, 2004, at 16:40:58

In reply to Re: HOLIDAYS AND VACATIONS :-( / way :-( Fallen4myT, posted by fallsfall on April 2, 2004, at 6:12:52

Thanks Falls...I will do the writing you have a lot of good ideas...are you a pro at this? ..I WILL not send it as the mans jaw would drop hahahaha......if I really said what I am thinking :) He oddly would tell me to come in. I should have asked if for a souviner :P I am all over the place mentally....a plus is I can look like a pig and not worry I will run into him...I will work on some cheap pampering stuff./.cash is tight this pay period...whine...I know he will be having fun and that is good I really REALLY AM happy for that but wish he could be 2 places at once :) I do not see him again until somewhere in the teens....that seems light years away to me :(

 

Re: HOLIDAYS AND VACATIONS :-( / way :-( Dinah

Posted by Fallen4myT on April 2, 2004, at 16:44:01

In reply to Re: HOLIDAYS AND VACATIONS :-( / way :-( Fallen4myT, posted by Dinah on April 2, 2004, at 6:53:46

Lol thanks Dinah it would be MUCH easier if my husband was not complicating matters but I am trying to hang in and yes I would feel bad if he came back to me all in a mess....so I am REALLY REALLY trying......but ughh its hard...I have had times he has gone and even better WHEN I have gone on trips and no issues but this time seems harder :-/ Today I did 4 exercise tapes...I will sore as heck

 

Re: HOLIDAYS AND VACATIONS :-( / way :-( Fallen4myT

Posted by Dinah on April 2, 2004, at 19:18:37

In reply to Re: HOLIDAYS AND VACATIONS :-( / way :-( Dinah, posted by Fallen4myT on April 2, 2004, at 16:44:01

That sounds like a very healthy way to act out. I'm impressed.

I usually up the klonopin and add some risperdal and gut it out with a lot of griping and moaning.

 

Re: HOLIDAYS AND VACATIONS :-( / way :-( Dinah

Posted by Fallen4myT on April 2, 2004, at 19:55:22

In reply to Re: HOLIDAYS AND VACATIONS :-( / way :-( Fallen4myT, posted by Dinah on April 2, 2004, at 19:18:37

Thanks Dinah, I am trying like all get out..my house is now spotless...you could even eat off my ceiling fans...all bulbs and glass were taken off and washed in the sink :) no kidding...and um well all my purses are clean, wallets, paper work is filed...I am sooooo exercised out..I have a bubble bath by candlelight and exfoliation deal to do later..I am beat...but you know, I got a lotta days to go and it could all head south if things to do dwindle...but I am cool tonight...hubby will be home all weekend...ugh puke...but otherwise.....I go on trying to keep WAY too busy to notice he is....gone....valium and ambein and other I am trying hard to cut down on more so while he is gone cause I do not have to be rested or look good...sad but true..MAN I AM TIRED AND SORE LOL

 

Re: HOLIDAYS AND VACATIONS/ THINGS STINK Fallen4myT

Posted by Fallen4myT on April 3, 2004, at 18:33:29

In reply to Re: HOLIDAYS AND VACATIONS :-( / way :-( Dinah, posted by Fallen4myT on April 2, 2004, at 19:55:22

So my creep of a husband is home and started the day off bad..then we go to get our taxes done electronically and he had been wrong so we are getting almost a thousand dollars less.....so much lets just spare the words and say....much stress from the jerk and I blew out to eat and said....you have never been so close to a divorce in your life....and this lady in a booth near us heard me...hahaha SHE LOOKED like I dont blame you..man I am going south mentally...I hate this man....I want a home and all alone ..I wish I would win the lottery or something....ya all just dont know what a creep he is..I mean when your own T SEZ....OUTRIGHT...LEAVE HIM ...that sez a lot.....sigh

 

Re: HOLIDAYS AND VACATIONS/ THINGS STINK Fallen4myT

Posted by terrics on April 4, 2004, at 18:11:46

In reply to Re: HOLIDAYS AND VACATIONS/ THINGS STINK Fallen4myT, posted by Fallen4myT on April 3, 2004, at 18:33:29

Sorry you are having such a bad time. Hope things improve. I'll be thinking of you. terrics

 

Re: HOLIDAYS AND VACATIONS/ THINGS STINK terrics

Posted by Fallen4myT on April 4, 2004, at 19:49:28

In reply to Re: HOLIDAYS AND VACATIONS/ THINGS STINK Fallen4myT, posted by terrics on April 4, 2004, at 18:11:46

Thanks Terrics..I am still "hanging in" and hubby was nice to me today VERY nice and all so it made the day less hard....

 

NEED some fun/good ideas to get me through no T

Posted by Fallen4myT on April 4, 2004, at 19:52:14

In reply to Re: HOLIDAYS AND VACATIONS/ THINGS STINK Fallen4myT, posted by Fallen4myT on April 3, 2004, at 18:33:29

I got a lot of good ideas and now need some cheap or free ones to keep this next week from dragging on....My T is still out of town and I am in deep T withdrawal...ideas?

Thanks :)

 

Re: NEED some fun/good ideas to get me through no T Fallen4myT

Posted by fallsfall on April 5, 2004, at 0:47:49

In reply to NEED some fun/good ideas to get me through no T, posted by Fallen4myT on April 4, 2004, at 19:52:14

Swing on the swings (the ones with the really long chains) at the park.
Find a waterfall or river to sit next to and have a picnic lunch.
Find out what programs they are having at your local library (yes, you can go to the story hour for 3 year olds).
Read picture books at the library.
Skip rocks
Play solitaire with real cards (not on the computer)
Weed your front walk (or come and do mine!)
Write a letter to a serviceman in Iraq
Ride a bike
Alphabetize the videos at your local video store

More ideas later.

 

Re: NEED some fun/good ideas to get me through no

Posted by Joslynn on April 5, 2004, at 19:59:59

In reply to Re: NEED some fun/good ideas to get me through no T Fallen4myT, posted by fallsfall on April 5, 2004, at 0:47:49

Make collages out of old magazines laying around?

Rent old movies at the library (Cary Grant/Katharine Hepburn movies and Astaire/Rogers movies cheer me up)

Pray

Doodle with colored magic markers

Make tapes or MP3s of your favorite songs to play back later to yourself. Make tapes with different themes:Inspiration, Relaxation, Energy, Comfort etc.

Volunteer at a soup kitchen (you can usually do this short-term, short notice)

Watch funny therapy movies about transference, such as What About Bob and Analyze This.

 

Re: NEED some fun/good ideas to get me through no T fallsfall

Posted by Fallen4myT on April 6, 2004, at 0:01:07

In reply to Re: NEED some fun/good ideas to get me through no T Fallen4myT, posted by fallsfall on April 5, 2004, at 0:47:49

Thanks again Falls you have a LOt of freat ideas and I really appreciate them all....I knew I could count on you....I am still hanging in :)

 

Re: NEED some fun/good ideas to get me through no Joslynn

Posted by Fallen4myT on April 6, 2004, at 0:16:50

In reply to Re: NEED some fun/good ideas to get me through no, posted by Joslynn on April 5, 2004, at 19:59:59

Thank you Joslynn, awesome ideas and I must get the movie What about Bob I keep telling ,myself that and a few have suggested it and well..maybe I should....thank you for the great ideas I am sure I will use a few of them

 

UGH it's like T withdrawal

Posted by Fallen4myT on April 6, 2004, at 13:45:22

In reply to Re: NEED some fun/good ideas to get me through no Joslynn, posted by Fallen4myT on April 6, 2004, at 0:16:50

But I did sleep well..I did go rent that movie today What about Bob...will watch later I exercise to excess daily...plus is I will be a size zero At this rate :-) and my house is way TOO clean.....the weather is kind of icky so some ideas are out.....I am sooooooooooooo crawling and seem to be popping ,more meds at night....not the kid the doc gives either...bad I know...

Color me...Missing My T

 

Re: UGH it's like T withdrawal Fallen4myT

Posted by fallsfall on April 6, 2004, at 14:22:38

In reply to UGH it's like T withdrawal, posted by Fallen4myT on April 6, 2004, at 13:45:22

What About Bob? is the first video I purchased (I only own about 5). It is the best. You can watch it 6 times.

Another Therapy movie that I really like is Good Will Hunting. (I also saw "Awakenings" with Robin Williams - that was a really good one, too)

Take an old sheet and make a hopscotch board (or use masking tape on your kitchen floor - then you have to take the time to put the tape down, and pick it back up, and get all that sticky off the floor - that should take a while)

Alphabetize your CDs.

The library is nice when it is icky outside.

Good luck!

 

Re: UGH it's like T withdrawal Fallen4myT

Posted by fallsfall on April 8, 2004, at 12:13:48

In reply to UGH it's like T withdrawal, posted by Fallen4myT on April 6, 2004, at 13:45:22

So did you watch What about Bob? What did you think?

 

Re: UGH it's like T withdrawal fallsfall

Posted by Fallen4myT on April 8, 2004, at 13:07:55

In reply to Re: UGH it's like T withdrawal Fallen4myT, posted by fallsfall on April 8, 2004, at 12:13:48

Aww thank you Falls you must be one of the nicest people on these board you keep up on all of us..I am sorry I missed your one last post....I already had my cd's in order as well as in each category. Like all the HEAVY metal is in one area...all a-z and so on...lol On the hopscotch...hubby would think me way odd
I did rent What about Bob and was going to watch it today while Rice was on all channels...but then got side tracked...its due tonight now hubby wants to see it so we plan to watch it after dinner and run it back late...its old so you get it for many days ..I will let you know :-) God bless you I usually try to keep up with any thread I start..but messed up..thanks for not being offended I missed that one...and for asking :) FULL REPORT LATE TONIGHT :)

HUGS


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