Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 310266

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Re: Why do they do this to me? Pandabear

Posted by pegasus on February 12, 2004, at 18:38:59

In reply to Why do they do this to me?, posted by Pandabear on February 12, 2004, at 18:16:41

Panda, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I know what those obsessions are like, and it stinks that you've been set up like this. Maybe your pdoc calls it a "study", because she wants to see what happens if they try to limit you? But maybe you should tell them that this is not good for you and that you don't want to be part of any more studies.

If it's going to create a huge amount of suffering for you, I would hope your T would prefer that you just call and chat a couple of times during the week. Maybe you should show your T this post? I just really feel how much you're hurting, and I want to make it better. But I don't really think that's within my powers. Go ahead and post the heck out of babble, though, in the meantime if it makes you feel better. I'll try to keep an eye out and respond when I can.

(((panda)))

- p

 

Re: Why do they do this to me? pegasus

Posted by Pandabear on February 12, 2004, at 19:11:03

In reply to Re: Why do they do this to me? Pandabear, posted by pegasus on February 12, 2004, at 18:38:59

Thanks for your post. Even if I do go and tell them that I dont want to be a part of this "study" I cannot say anything until Monday..my psychiatrist is making it really difficult for me to face my therapist...I feel like they both think I am crazy now or something..I dont think my therapist thinks that...but thats what it makes me feel like. My psychiatrist was laughing and saying im such an "obsessor" I know I obsess but I dont think it is funny at all...its quite exhausting....

 

Re: Why do they do this to me? Pandabear

Posted by fallsfall on February 12, 2004, at 23:09:28

In reply to Re: Why do they do this to me? pegasus, posted by Pandabear on February 12, 2004, at 19:11:03

I certainly can relate to you! I was obsessed with a friend, and then started therapy. The friendship ended (painfully) and I became obsessed with my therapist (except we called it "dependent").

She wanted to make me less dependent by limiting my sessions. I had stopped calling her because I was afraid that she would think I was "dependent" and I knew that was "bad". I will say that I did develop some pretty good distress tolerance skills. So it was a long story, but I had to terminate with her and now I have a different therapist (she does CBT, he does Psychodynamic). I am dependent on him, too - but he handles it differently. I see him twice a week (which I thinks helps me), and I can call him (but if I call more than once in two weeks I think I'm calling too much). Sometimes he tries to get me to tolerate not getting what I need (right now that is approval), but when it gets intolerable for me he gives me enough of what I need so that I can function again.

So, yes, I know what you are going through and how hard it is. There are different ideas of what will help, and if you have a long talk with your therapist, and you don't like what she is proposing, tell her that and see if the two of you can come up with another idea.

Distress tolerance suggestions:

1. Write a letter to your therapist (or 2, or 3, or 15 if you want)
2. Call a friend and rant and rave for a limited time (15 minutes?).
3. Watch a movie (on TV or rented) - this works best if it is a good movie and you haven't seen it before.
4. Read Psychology books (the more technical, the better)
5. Take a nap.
6. Cuddle with your dog or cat.
7. Draw a picture with crayons (they smell really nice)
8. Go for a walk with a friend and don't talk about therapy at all
9. Go to work.
10. Become addicted to a computer game (my favorites are Snood and MahJong Solitaire)
11. Post a lot on Babble
12. If you live in a warm climate find a playground with the old fashioned swings with the really long chains and see how high you can go
13. Play with a child
14. Walk around a craft store and look at every object (book stores work for me, too)
15. Some people like to clean, but I hate it.
16. Read "The Woman's Comfort Book" and try some things it suggests
17. Clean MY oven??? Please?
18. Anything else that you think is fun. Try to keep busy.

Set up some kind of reward system - Put 3 M&Ms in a bowl for every hour you don't call - then eat them before you go to bed. Or let yourself play a computer game every 2 hours or 1 hour or 30 minutes or whatever if you don't call. Or ask a friend to call you twice a day to congratulate you for making it that far.

Good luck.

 

Re: Why do they do this to me? Pandabear

Posted by Crooked Heart on February 13, 2004, at 3:27:34

In reply to Re: Why do they do this to me? pegasus, posted by Pandabear on February 12, 2004, at 19:11:03

Pandabear, I'm so sorry that things are so bad. What pegasus and fallsfall said looks like good advice to me.

Your psychiatrist shouldn't have laughed. I thought from what you said earlier that she'd been helpful, but laughing was just trivialising what you're going through.

The drug sounds pretty strong from what Fallen said. If you don't feel you should be taking it, can you get another professional opinion? Sorry, I don't know how all that works where you are.

Remember everyone here is supporting you. Please keep posting over the weekend if it helps.

Thinking of you. ((((Pandabear))))

 

Re: Why do they do this to me?

Posted by gardenergirl on February 13, 2004, at 7:26:39

In reply to Re: Why do they do this to me? Pandabear, posted by Crooked Heart on February 13, 2004, at 3:27:34

Pandabear,
I hope today is a little better. It sounds like a really difficult situation. I really liked the list that fallsfall created. (I may steal it for my clients if that's okay ff!)

Can you try to have an inner dialog with your T? Think through what you want to say right now and what you think your T might say? This may help to try to "hear" your T's voice in your head to get you through in between. Do you have a business card or something else that reminds you of your T? Maybe you can focus on having that. You are still connected even if you are not able to talk to her.

Do you sing or like music? Maybe you can make up a silly little song about your T to help you when you feel like you are obsessing the most.

Good luck. I am thinking of you. I know this will seem like a really tough weekend.

Take care and keep posting!

gg

 

Redirect: Seroquel

Posted by Dr. Bob on February 13, 2004, at 8:44:41

In reply to Re: Im about to really loose it., posted by Pandabear on February 11, 2004, at 21:58:29

> so now..since my doc has me trying out Seroquel..does anyone know if it really causes cataracts?

Sorry to interrupt, but I'd like to redirect follow-ups regarding medication to (just plain) Psycho-Babble. Here's a link:

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040210/msgs/312777.html

Thanks,

Bob

 

Re: Why do they do this to me? gardenergirl

Posted by fallsfall on February 13, 2004, at 11:17:59

In reply to Re: Why do they do this to me?, posted by gardenergirl on February 13, 2004, at 7:26:39

Of course, gg. My list would be honored to be associated with you.

 

Re: Why do they do this to me? Pandabear

Posted by fallsfall on February 13, 2004, at 11:33:15

In reply to Re: Why do they do this to me? pegasus, posted by Pandabear on February 12, 2004, at 19:11:03

Gardener Girl reminded me of something else that helps me. A "Transitional Object". It is like Linus' blanket, but I try to make it a little more grown up looking.

I carry a rabbit's foot in my pocket. It is very soft and when I fiddle with it, it comforts me. I love "soft" things - people's hair, soft dogs, stuffed animals etc. The rabbit's foot is small enough to fit in my pocket (and I can even fiddle with it while it is in my pocket). It is small enough that when I take it out usually people don't even notice. I wore most of the fur off my old one and had to find new ones (hard to find - I found them at a small hardware store) - got two. The purple one's dye came off all over my hands. The red on is OK. Maybe I can rinse the purple one (it is softer).

I have a friend who carries a "worry stone" it is maybe 1 1/2 inches square and not very thick. It is polished very smooth and there is an indent in the middle and she slides her thumb through the indent. Again, it is small and unobtrusive.

I feel lucky to have a picture of my therapist. It was on a web page (which has since been taken down). Sometimes I put his picture on my computer screen. I printed a copy (it is very small), and I keep it next to my bed. When I need him, I can look at it. It is a really good picture and has his "therapist" look perfectly. Only once I put the picture in my pocket and carried it with me.

Last night when I went to sleep I had two dogs in bed with me, and I was holding the rabbit's foot and my therapist's picture.

If you don't have a teddy bear you should absolutely make a top priority to find the softest most huggable stuffed animal you can find. This is one place where spending a little extra for good quality is really worth it. I like Gund. Toy's R Us also has really soft stuffed animals. My teddy bear was usurped in my bed (after 7 years) by my dogs, who stay softer over time, have heartbeats, and lick my face.

I also find that I can get comfort if I wear a velour shirt - that is the kind of softness that comforts me.

So see if you can find a "fiddle toy". If you look around your house or some stores, I bet that something will jump out at you that is comforting for you.

P.S. My rabbit's foot is also helpful when I feel like picking at my skin - so it helps to reduce my self-injury.

 

Re: Why do they do this to me?

Posted by Pandabear on February 13, 2004, at 16:19:17

In reply to Re: Why do they do this to me? Pandabear, posted by Crooked Heart on February 13, 2004, at 3:27:34

Ok so, I didnt do like i should have according to my psychiatrist... I called my therapist...I just wanted to talk to her about what my psychiatrist was wanting me to (Seeing how long i can go without talking to my therapist)..I left a message and the receptionist called me this morning and was confirming my appt for monday and then told me that my therapist was out of the office until monday...I told her it was ok and to just disregard the message and I would talk to her on Monday. I just wanted to talk to her before the weekend about this. I already have sooo much to talk to her about I didnt want to add another thing.. Being that it is Valentines Day tomorrow, my mind has been preoccupied at work so it isnt like im spending time thinking about how i wish i could talk to her..but that isnt to say that i havent been doing so previously...I cannot stand myself..Im so annoying...its no wonder I am so difficult to get along with...I have too many personal issues to deal with..I wish I wasnt like the way that I am...I feel so out of place..I know I was made the way I am for a reason but it bothers me because I have never known what it was about me that others didnt like and now that Im realizing it ..I DONT EVEN LIKE MYSELF..yet I dont want to change and Im finding it hard to change no matter what I do...:( Oh well.

 

Re: Im about to really loose it. Pandabear

Posted by thewriteone on February 13, 2004, at 18:29:37

In reply to Im about to really loose it., posted by Pandabear on February 6, 2004, at 17:59:27

Panda, I'm really sorry you're having such a hard time right now. We're all with you and here to listen. If you feel you need to speak with your T, then by all means, do so. Instead of thinking about how disappointed they will be in you (and believe me, I understand that concern), just try and think of it as that they work for you. Your well being is the most important thing in all of this. Take care and (((((((hugs))))))))))

 

Re: Why do they do this to me? Pandabear

Posted by Crooked Heart on February 14, 2004, at 4:28:09

In reply to Re: Why do they do this to me?, posted by Pandabear on February 13, 2004, at 16:19:17

Panda, you are having a really tough time time at the moment and struggling on. Well whatever you are thinking of yourself, I like you and admire you ((((Panda)))). Apart from anything else, has it struck you how brave you are to be so open when you post to us here?

Please keep posting over the weekend if it helps.

Take care

 

Re: Why do they do this to me? Crooked Heart

Posted by Pandabear on February 14, 2004, at 12:43:08

In reply to Re: Why do they do this to me? Pandabear, posted by Crooked Heart on February 14, 2004, at 4:28:09

Thanks for thinking Im brave..I guess I am I am just really frustrated and I want someone to be able to listen to me. I am so glad to have a place where I can post my thoughts. What makes it even better is that my therapist is supporting my posting things on here. I dont know if she has seen this site but, she is glad that I have something to go to when I get really anxious...I dont have much to post this weekend...but I am sure come monday I will have something ..Im meeting with my therapist at Five..after work since my boss doesnt support my appts during work hours...:( Have a great Valentines! ;)
PB

I wish I could meet everyone that has been so kind to me ...its great to talk to people but I feel like im connected to people even though I dont know them. Its also neat though to have the mystery of not knowing the person and getting advice from a complete stranger that is going through or that has gone through the same or similiar situation that I am...Its good to know that I am not alone..even when I feel that I am...Everyone is so supportive its such a good feeling for someone that is so depressed at times..Right now I am "up" and not depressed and I thank God for that and I hope I stay that way for a while!Thank you to everyone...Im sorry I dont respond with advice to other people but in all honesty, I do not feel that I am strong enough to be giving out advice. But, know that you are all in my thoughts and prayers, and...hopefully that is enough...Take Care and GodBless...

 

Re: Why do they do this to me? Pandabear

Posted by Crooked Heart on February 14, 2004, at 16:20:18

In reply to Re: Why do they do this to me? Crooked Heart, posted by Pandabear on February 14, 2004, at 12:43:08

> know that you are all in my thoughts and prayers, and...hopefully that is enough...Take Care and GodBless...


Aah, thanks so much Panda. More than enough :)

You have a great Valentine's too!

 

Re: Why do they do this to me?

Posted by Pandabear on February 17, 2004, at 17:38:13

In reply to Re: Why do they do this to me?, posted by gardenergirl on February 13, 2004, at 7:26:39

Alrighty, I need more help and advice. My issue is that my psychiatrist had set a boundary with me and wanted to see if I could go without talking to my therapist via phone. I did well and didnt talk to her all week until my appt yesterday, but today is another story. Yesterday after my session, I was thinking about everything and I got upset with my therapist and wanted to tell her. So I ended up writing her a letter and taking it to her today during my lunch break. Im not even supposed to be sending her letters according to my psychiatrist..YET, she also said that if I DID happen to call or write her ...to not worry that I did that because THAT is what they would be trying to figure out..why i feel like I have to write or call her. And, she told me not to feel like a failure if I messed up. BUT, while I was talking to my therapist about my meeting yesterday, she said it was obvious to her that a boundary was set...and now im obsessing over the fact that i wrote her a letter.

The way I look at it is, I have a therapist, I dont call for stupid reasons, she told me she is here for me and that I can call or whatever. Yet, now there is a boundary set and so NOW i feel as if I cannot talk to my therapist even though she is supposedly there for me! My letter consisted of my telling her that I feel like she and my psychiatrist are against me. They work in the same office and after my sessions they always converse with one another. I feel like they are watching my every move and that I cannot mess up at all. I feel like Im being treated like I am crazy. I also told her I didnt feel like she was on my side right now and even though she has told me she doesnt judge or take sides...I still feel like she is not on my side. I have started taking Lamictal for my mood disorder and seroquel for sleeping and my obsessions and anxiety. YET, i dont really have trouble sleeping so Im not very excited about it putting me to sleep when Im not ready to go to sleep :) But whatever. Im just worried as to what she is thinking about my letter. I live right accross the street from her office and as I was walking my dog I saw my psychiatrist leave...she usually leaves around 2 and so I immediately started thinking that she had been meeting with my therapist..(which might have been the case) but I didnt really know. I just dont want them thinking that I have gone too far and that I am a lost cause. It is so hard for me because my dad is a doctor and they know him..(my psychiatrist knows him) and the fact that I am his daughter and I have all these obsessive issues embarresses the crud out of me. And, I think it also embarresses my dad somewhat because he cannot really do anything to help me. I dont want my psychiatrist thinking 'goodness she is so and sos daughter and she is sooo obsessed' Im sure she wouldnt ...im just obsessing!!!! I need to be able to talk to my therapist...so what if I am obsessive...I just dont want to upset her or frustrate her and I dont know if I have. I want to know what she is thinking about me. My obsessing with having to talk to her is VERY SIMILIAR to my obsessing with this old friend of mine and he ended up putting a boundary on me for how many times I called him and now my psychiatrist has done the same thing. When my friend did this, it made me MORE OBSESSIVE...and I see this happening with my therapist and I am really scared. Im so ashamed of who I am. I told her in the letter that I can become very obsessive as far as the writing of letters goes and I dont want her and my psychiatrist to see this...but yet, it is happening and I cannot stop..and now I feel like Im going crazy. I literally felt so crazy when this first started happening 2 years ago and yet I was too sick to go to therapy and NOW that i am becoming obsessive again, I am wanting to back away and stop talking to her because I am scared that they will think I am crazy and put me in the hospital or something......:( I dont know what to do. I am very worried but I needed to tell her how I felt...now she will be discussing the letter at our next session...woohoo :( I feel like im always asking for anxiety ridden situations yet Im really NOT ...I just cannot stop obsessing and I dont want them to see me like this....:( What can I do...Im so lost.

 

Re: Why do they do this to me? Pandabear

Posted by Crooked Heart on February 18, 2004, at 3:40:31

In reply to Re: Why do they do this to me?, posted by Pandabear on February 17, 2004, at 17:38:13

Panda, you really seem to have been given conflicting messages. I wonder what your therapist's actually thinks about the target set by your psychiatrist?

Anyhow Panda, there's one piece of very firm advice. If it's humanly possible where you are, even if it means a long drive for appointments, can you change to a psychiatrist who does NOT know your dad? Her knowing your dad is putting a big additional strain on you that you just don't need and could be avoided.

It's also probably a strain on your pyschiatrist, though she might not admit it. Doctors are human and, if they're honest, there's an extra anxiety about getting things right and 'successful' treatment when it comes to the families of colleagues. That's not always in the best interest of the patient; the doctor's anxiety can lead to overtreatment or overinvestigation.

I'm talking from a lot of experience. My husband's a doctor too, and to add to that where we live is the sort of place where everybody knows everybody else, especially in the medical network. Whenever any of the doctors round here need any psychiatric help (e.g. for depression, stress, drinking) you bet your life they don't go to someone they know. And it's generally agreed that it's not a good idea to treat the families of colleagues and friends, they refer them on to someone else.

At present there's another and avoidable layer of anxiety all round, for you especially, but for yor psychiatrist and your dad as well.

It's not often that I really stick my neck out on the advice front, but I am doing here.

Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

 

Re: Why do they do this to me? Crooked Heart

Posted by mair on February 18, 2004, at 21:48:38

In reply to Re: Why do they do this to me? Pandabear, posted by Crooked Heart on February 18, 2004, at 3:40:31

I totally agree with Crooked Heart - It might also help you if your psychiatrist and therapist didn't work in the same office. I was in that situation once and I didn't really care for it. I felt cheated if they were not communicating and I felt a little paranoid about them communicating too much. It seems like you have enough to worry about without this extra layer of worry.

Mair

 

Re: Why do they do this to me?

Posted by Pandabear on February 18, 2004, at 22:06:08

In reply to Re: Why do they do this to me? Crooked Heart, posted by mair on February 18, 2004, at 21:48:38

Having both my therapist and psychiatrist working in the same office is annoying..because you are right..it is annoying that they are in constant communication about me and yet I am not in on it. I know they are having to be guarded with me because I worry a lot but I really dont appreciate it. I dont want to switch because they are pretty much the best office in town and I like them a lot...My psychiatrist started me on seroquel last tuesday and I have decided not to use it because first off I dont like the way it makes me feel ....she has me using it for sleep and obsessing and I dont need help sleeping...Second, I have heard too many bad things about the long term effects of seroquel and im too chicken to try it...but I dont think she will be pleased if I stop it...so im going to call her tomorrow and inform her that i didnt take it tonight...im taking lamictal and that should be helping my anxiety soooo really i dont need the seroquel...at least this is how I feel...oh well. Im so nervous that because of my obsessing ..they are going to want to hospitalize me...I resorted to writing her a letter instead of calling her and so that is good..but writing a letter is still trying to get in touch with her. The more of a boundary I have ..the more obsessed im going to get...*and I told her that in my letter...but I dont want her to think I need to be hospitalized. The first time before therapy that I was so obsessive was when I was obsessed and dependent on my "friend" and he set a boundary on me calling and talking to him and I became VERY OBSESSIVE and during that time..she could have hospitalized me if I was in therapy then ..but I wasnt. When I told her about this, she agreed that she could have...but to think about where I was now and that I had moved on...This is true but NOW im regressing and now because there is a boundary against me Im doing the same thing that I was doing with my friend..and Im becoming obsessive again and soooo if im not careful, she could hospitalize me..or would she? I dont know. But..I still dont think the seroquel can help me...all it is doing is putting me to sleep at night..and IF im not ready to go to sleep and i stay up fighting it..i get really sick to my stomach and so sick that I cant stand up anymore and have to lay down...I just dont like it. I hope she is ok with me stopping it. She put me on it because of my anxiety but also because I had been taking tylonol pm for 4 days and she didnt want me to become addicted to it...PERSONALLY I would rather take tylonol pm....but thats just me. I dont know what to do right now...im soooooooooooooofrustrated..please think about me this next monday..im meeting with my therapist to discuss my letter to her....its not going to be fun at all...:(

 

Re: Why do they do this to me? Pandabear

Posted by gardenergirl on February 18, 2004, at 23:24:45

In reply to Re: Why do they do this to me?, posted by Pandabear on February 18, 2004, at 22:06:08

I'll be thinking about you. It sounds like a really rough time. I see my T on Monday's too, so I'll be reminded.

Take care of yourself,

gg

 

Re: Why do they do this to me? Pandabear

Posted by Crooked Heart on February 19, 2004, at 5:34:30

In reply to Re: Why do they do this to me?, posted by Pandabear on February 18, 2004, at 22:06:08

Panda, I'm sorry things are so tough for you right now. I hope things go OK on Monday, but remember you don't have to wait till then before posting.

I am thinking about you.

((((Pandabear))))

 

Re: Why do they do this to me?

Posted by Pandabear on February 22, 2004, at 8:56:23

In reply to Re: Why do they do this to me? Pandabear, posted by Crooked Heart on February 18, 2004, at 3:40:31

Ok so two weeks ago I was given a boundary of having no communication with my therapist outside of therapy..I cannot write a note or call her..unless its an emergency. Of course, i crossed it and wrote her a note. I told her how that I was feeling like she and my psychiatrist were against me because they always meet and talk about me after my sessions. They are very guarded with what they tell me because they dont want me to worry or obsess. I really want to know what they honestly think about what is going on with me..and yet i will never know...I feel so comfortable with them that I am starting to show my real self my obsessive self and it scares me because I really dont want her to see this side of me. We have developed a "friendship" doc/patient relationship and now, because she has found something that is really an issue with me..my obsessing..she is turning into the doctor and im scared as to what she is going to say reguarding my obsessing...I was really obsessed before therapy with a "friend" of mine and he put a boundary against me on my communicating with him..and IT MADE ME MORE OBSESSED. Now, i can see myself regressing back to that with my therapist. I dont want her to see this about me. Im so scared. Someone please help me.... thanks.

 

Re: Why do they do this to me? Pandabear

Posted by fallsfall on February 22, 2004, at 11:55:06

In reply to Re: Why do they do this to me?, posted by Pandabear on February 22, 2004, at 8:56:23

The only way that she can help you is to see what the problem is. Do you want help with your obsessing problem?

Or are you looking for something else from her?

 

Re: Why do they do this to me? Pandabear

Posted by Raindancer on February 22, 2004, at 12:04:05

In reply to Re: Why do they do this to me?, posted by Pandabear on February 22, 2004, at 8:56:23

Dear Panda, I wish they would see that putting restrictions on us ALWAYS makes obsession worse - that's just human nature. Please try not to worry. Your T knows you first as a person. In other words you are Panda, not your obsession. There is no need to feel you will regress . Can you explain your fears to your T? You are a very worthy person and I'm sure your T and Pdoc only want what's best for you and care very much. Try not to be afraid and take each day at a time. I shall think of you.R

 

Re: Why do they do this to me? Pandabear

Posted by Crooked Heart on February 22, 2004, at 14:56:03

In reply to Re: Why do they do this to me?, posted by Pandabear on February 22, 2004, at 8:56:23

Panda, do you think you might be able to begin to talk to your t about how difficult this is? Maybe you could start by telling her about how having this target set for you has made things so much more difficult? (I'm calling it a target, not a boundary on purpose. Boundaries in therapy are necessary and a good thing, but a note like the one you sent your t isn't a big boundary-crossing. This thing about not getting in touch with your t, even though she'd said it was alright, if I understand correctly what you've said before, well it just sounds a bit arbitrary to me.)

I agree with what Raindancer said. Forbidden fruit looks sweetest (but I don't see why this particular fruit should be so forbidden).

I wish I could write you the sort of insightful and helpful post we see on this board, but I can tell you that the real you is valuable and lovable and has nothing to be ashamed of.

Will be thinking about you ((((((Panda))))))

 

Re: Why do they do this to me?

Posted by Pandabear on February 24, 2004, at 18:43:24

In reply to Re: Why do they do this to me? Pandabear, posted by Crooked Heart on February 22, 2004, at 14:56:03

I went to my session yesterday and my therapist of course wanted to discuss my letter that I had given to her. She went sentence by sentence and basically told me that she isnt against me, she is for me and she is here to help make me better..and she told me that she does like me, she doesnt think im "crazy" and that yes she and my psychiatrist might be keeping certain things from me so that I dont obsess...She also said that she and my psychiatrist are like my "other parents" and that I was afraid to let them see the "real me" for fear that they would reject me..and she said that they have no intention of rejecting me...or judging me and that as a matter of fact they like me a lot...(whew):) I had mentioned to her that I am starting to feel so comfortable with them ..that I am starting to relax and show my real self..and my real self is my obsessive self..and I DONT WANT THEM TO SEE me like this..( i mentioned this in another post) but she responded that..yes this was me at my worst as far as the obsessing goes..but that she would help me through it ..and not to worry about being rejected or liked less because of whatever i decided to share. All in all, it was a good session. I have this problem where after a session....the next day, I feel like I have to talk to her...now, the next day after my session was today and I didnt call her but I really wanted to. I dont know whats up with that but Im getting really sick of it. I am on Seroquel to help with the obsessing but I feel like im being punished by taking it. It literally knocks me out within about an hour and a half of taking it...she told me it was to help me from obsessing and worrying and from feeling like I had to drive around at night when im worried...(which is something I was doing for a while but have stopped)...and I feel like they are thinking "well, lets force her to go to sleep so no one has to deal with her and her obsessing for at least a few hours" ...and deep down I know it isnt really how they feel...at least i hope not. She made me list some good things about me so that I dont focus only on the obsessive and dependent sides of me...YET, it is a major side of me...so I told her its hard to focus on other things when this is SO MUCH OF A PART OF ME...but anyway...we will be working more on this at our next session...whew...things just keep rolling along....:)

 

Re: Why do they do this to me? Pandabear

Posted by fallsfall on February 25, 2004, at 8:30:24

In reply to Re: Why do they do this to me?, posted by Pandabear on February 24, 2004, at 18:43:24

That sounds like a much more positive session.

She has some real compassion and empathy for you. She knows that you are obsessive - and she will NOT reject you because of your pathology. She is in this for the long haul with you. Listen to her reassurances and try to feel them deep down. They will carry you through the really hard times. I think that you can trust her - it sounds like she really wants to help.

Boy, do I know about the day after syndrome. The day after therapy is always my worst. I come up with all kinds of insights after a night's sleep, and I miss my therapist terribly. It was so bad, that a couple of years ago I changed my appointment day. I was seeing my therapist on Thursday, but she only worked 4 days a week (Monday through Thursday). So if I needed her on Friday, she was out and I had to talk to whoever was "covering" for her. I moved my appointment to Tuesday, so that at least if I needed to, I could leave a voice mail message on Wednesday and she could call me back. I don't know that I ever DID contact her on a Wednesday, but I felt a lot better knowing that I COULD.

I now see a different therapist on Monday and Thursday (and he works on Friday, but not always on Wednesday). You are not alone in the day-after syndrome. I try to journal a lot on the day after, or talk to friends to help process the "extra" feelings and ideas.

Good luck to you!


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