Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 310266

Shown: posts 13 to 37 of 49. Go back in thread:

 

Re: CoW RULES!

Posted by DaisyM on February 8, 2004, at 23:32:41

In reply to Re: CoW is NOT Oatmeal!, posted by Fallen4myT on February 8, 2004, at 23:09:08

WOW, CONVERTS!!!
I feel so powerful.

 

Re: CoW RULES! DaisyM

Posted by Fallen4myT on February 8, 2004, at 23:43:29

In reply to Re: CoW RULES!, posted by DaisyM on February 8, 2004, at 23:32:41

LOL so it's YOU !!! Ah ha! LMAO OMG I am gonna nosh on carbs with milk AND butter AND Equal. SHAME ON YOU LOL

oh and maybe toast like I ate it as a kid with lots of butter

> WOW, CONVERTS!!!
> I feel so powerful.
>

 

Re: Im about to really loose it. Pandabear

Posted by Crooked Heart on February 10, 2004, at 6:34:32

In reply to Re: Im about to really loose it. Elle2021, posted by Pandabear on February 6, 2004, at 21:26:48

Hi Pandabear

How are you? Hope things are better than last Friday?

Take care.

 

Re: Im about to really loose it. Crooked Heart

Posted by Pandabear on February 10, 2004, at 11:47:29

In reply to Re: Im about to really loose it. Pandabear, posted by Crooked Heart on February 10, 2004, at 6:34:32

Hello. Actually, This past weekend was one of the worst weekends as far as my depression goes. I got into a conversation about my therapy with my boss and she was basically telling me to snap out of it and she was wanting to know exactly what I was talking about with my therapist (which i did NOT tell her). I was SO FLOORED that she was asking me these things and getting all into my business plus my dad and i were fighting and so too make a long story short. I became really depressed and almost had to go to the hospital. I didnt know what to do. But, I would have gotten on here and posted some but I couldnt even get out of bed. Yet, at the same time, I still didnt feel that I should have called the doc on call because I didnt think my situation was bad enough. BUT, I am going to talk to my psychiatrist today about what happened. It scares me that I can go down so quickly. It was really uncalled for though the way that my boss was talking to me..and she was telling me that I was talking about petty things...she has no idea what is going on in my life. AND, what I talk about is between my therapists and I..agree? :) Can you tell I have been worked up about this? Im more emotional than anything else...but I will be ok. Thanks for asking how I was though...I need prayers right about now...:)

 

Re: Im about to really loose it. Pandabear

Posted by gardenergirl on February 10, 2004, at 17:09:48

In reply to Re: Im about to really loose it. Crooked Heart, posted by Pandabear on February 10, 2004, at 11:47:29

((((Pandabear))))

I'm so sorry you had such a crash. I think your boss was way out of line. Somebody else posted a wonderful response to nosy people. Something like "Thank you for your concern. I'm taking care of it with my therapist" or something similar. It's nobody's business what is between you and your T.

Please take care of yourself. I'm glad you are going to talk to your pdoc.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

gg

 

Re: Im about to really loose it. Pandabear

Posted by Crooked Heart on February 10, 2004, at 17:38:25

In reply to Re: Im about to really loose it. Crooked Heart, posted by Pandabear on February 10, 2004, at 11:47:29

Too right! Nobody's business but yours what you talk to your therapist about. It sounds really as though your boss has her own issues (being frightened by someone else's vulnerability?). Whatever, you can do without it. If it happens again is there a way of saying FIRMLY and POLITELY that it's your business? (Politely is good if you can do it, because you've got the moral upper hand then. Also you still have to work with your boss, and isn't she a sort of friend as well?)

It sounds like you had a dreadful weekend what with fighting with your dad too. Let us know how you get on seeing your pdoc.

Thinking of you and lots of hugs ((((Pandabear))))

 

Re: Im about to really loose it. Crooked Heart

Posted by Pandabear on February 10, 2004, at 19:53:34

In reply to Re: Im about to really loose it. Pandabear, posted by Crooked Heart on February 10, 2004, at 17:38:25

Thank you thank you for being so kind...I did talk to my psychiatrist and she decided to put me on seroquel? Have you heard of it?? It is a seditive but it is supposed to help me sleep better and then during the day it is supposed to help my anxiety. AND, the lower the anxiety, the less i will obsess...(hopefully). But, I did tell her about my weekend and she said that anyone would have reacted the way that I had...But, I dont think she realized how that I couldnt even get out of bed. I was so scared. She said to just wait and speak to my therapist about it at my next appt which is on monday...sooooo, I will. But she is testing me now to see if I can go for long periods without talking to my therapist either by phone or by dropping her a note. IF I am able to go a week without..then i can reward myself with something like a massage or soemthing..I asked her what would happen if I messed up and called my therapist, would she be mad...and she said "see it isnt what we think that really matters..its what you think that we think ...that is the problem.." Because this shows them that I am obsessing and worrying to the point where it isnt good for me. (yes i worry way too much) But, I work in a doctors office and I know that we dont like it when someone calls us all the time..so it has to be annoying when people call them constantly...BUT, I also think "WHO CARES" how many times I call. If Im calling them (and I only call for legitimate reasons...I never call to 'shoot the breeze', then they will realize that something is wrong and be able to fix it ..right?) She told me if i have to call, to write down why i feel like I have to and then bring it in to my next session and talk to my therapist about it. (Can you tell Im obsessive..Im really not a bad person...:)

But anyway, I am now on Lamictal and Seroquel. If anyone knows anything about Seroquel good or bad...let me know. Is there any blood tests involved in Seroquel? Just wondering. Overall my talk with her was good in the 30 mins that we had..I just hope that I can hold off on talking to my therapist until monday...( I havent called her since the beginning of January) so its all good! Thanks caring about me. I told my therapist that I had joined this online support group and she was really excited. This is great for me to be able to talk to people that know what im going through...it makes me feel like im not alone ...which is a good thing. Have a great night.
PANDABEAR

 

Re: Im about to really loose it. Pandabear

Posted by Fallen4myT on February 10, 2004, at 20:06:04

In reply to Re: Im about to really loose it. Crooked Heart, posted by Pandabear on February 10, 2004, at 19:53:34

I know some people who have had OK times with Seroqual and I dont wanna scare you from it BUT it has to be watched cause you can become a diabetic from it , it is an antipsychotoc given off label for anxiety and sleep can cause tics and can mess up the endocrine system. They also wayyyy down on the label say you should have a split light or something special glaucoma test 2 times a year...not the regular test. I took it for sleep and ended up getting off it. I did sleep on 50 mgs at bed but it made some odd stuff go on with my heart..no damamge so I went off. NOW PLEASE do not panic cause that was MY reaction to it but ASK the pharmacy for the INSERT they never give you cause it comes with the bottle and read up on it Good luck like I said some love the drug

 

Re: Im about to really loose it. Pandabear

Posted by Crooked Heart on February 11, 2004, at 12:36:35

In reply to Re: Im about to really loose it. Crooked Heart, posted by Pandabear on February 10, 2004, at 19:53:34

Your psychiatrist sounds really understanding and helpful. I'm sorry I don't know anything about the meds. But getting a good night's sleep is so important. For me it's the first step when I need to make my life better, and I mean that seriously. So I hope the seroquel works.

You be good to yourself. I hope you're finding time to do the things you like, if that's not intrusive advice?

I'm glad posting here helps. It's one thing that any of us can do any time as often as we like without worrying about being criticised :)

Thinking of you. Take care ((((Pandabear))))

 

Re: Im about to really loose it.

Posted by Pandabear on February 11, 2004, at 21:58:29

In reply to Re: Im about to really loose it. Pandabear, posted by Crooked Heart on February 11, 2004, at 12:36:35

so now..since my doc has me trying out Seroquel..does anyone know if it really causes cataracts? Im reading horrible things about this drug and Im scared to death of it...i dont want this to mess with my health..I dont even think i need the medicine but my doctor seems to think i do for sleeping and anxiety and obsessing...??? im so nervous about taking it..

 

Why do they do this to me?

Posted by Pandabear on February 12, 2004, at 18:16:41

In reply to Re: Im about to really loose it. Pandabear, posted by Crooked Heart on February 11, 2004, at 12:36:35

Ok, so I started out in therapy almost two years ago because I was obsessed with this guy and now I am over it thank goodness but now...I am so dependant on my therapist and obsessed with having to talk to her constantly. (I call about legitimate things) but, I have to talk to her at least twice a week. I met with my psychiatrist on Tuesday and she is now doing what she calls a "study" on me where she is going to see if I can make it without talking to my therapist until our next appt. which is this next monday. THIS IS EXTREMELY HARD FOR ME. I feel as though im being punished. She told me that I need not fear about what they think of me when I call. She said its what I think that they think that is the problem...and that that is what they are trying to figure out..why I am worrying so much. She said for me not to feel like I was a failure for calling if I do call. BUT OF COURSE I WILL..because she told me not to call and yet, I might call and if i call..im going to worry about the fact that I messed up and im going to wonder if they are disappointed in me!!!! (and of course Im doing wrong right now by obsessing over this) but I have to talk to someone. She doesnt want me calling for anything..not even if my medicine isnt working right...(unless of course im having a serious side effect) But I started taking Seroquel two nights ago and the only side effect im having is that Im dizzy and I think my reaction time is off I almost got in 4 wrecks today ..yet it did rain but that was really odd for me bc im not a bad driver....and Im a little goofy-er..but I dont know if that is something to be expected..the folks at work like me better though :) Anyway, I told my coworker that I feel like a fish in a fish bowl because everyone is watching me to see what im going to do next and my therapists are watching me to see if im going to call...and I dont know what to do. I really want to talk to my therapist because I have been depressed since last wednesday but I cant call her. It is going to build up until monday and then im going to explode at our session. I already have SO MUCH to talk to her about and now, Im going to be soooooo frustrated that I havent been able to talk to her and I just dont know what im going to do..ill probably be so worked up I wont be able to talk. I just feel as though Im going through the same thing now that I went through with the guy I was obsessed with. He put a limit on me calling him and that is what made me more obsessed. Now, Im feeling more obessed than ever but I dont want to upset them and yet I think they want to see me obessed so that they can fix me yet I dont know what to do..I want to be able to talk to my therapist whenever I feel that I need her and the office staff told me to call whenever I needed and that that was what they were there for. I just feel so stuck. I need to hear my therapist voice before Monday or else its going to be a long weekend. (do I sound weak or what). Im meeting with her Monday at five. I had to move all my appts with her to five because my boss doesnt support them anymore. Kind of stinks. PLUS another thing I dont like is that everytime I come into the office or talk to my therapist...my therapist then reports to my psychiatrist and so they always know whats going on. Except for my psychiatrist doesnt know what I talk about with Linda unless there is a medication problem...but I feel like Im being treated like im psychotic. I know My therapist would want me to call her Im just so hung up on what she thinks because I know she is reporting to my psychiatrist...I CANT WIN..:( Someone respond with words of encouragement or wisdom or something..Im realy not doing too well..I have been so depressed for over a week and Im about to flip out because no one knows how to help me...only my therapists do and I CANT TALK TO THEM...( My psychiatrist (who isnt one one of my favorites)is trying to make me less dependant on my therapist) Im really going to loose it...Help......<><

 

Re: Why do they do this to me? Pandabear

Posted by pegasus on February 12, 2004, at 18:38:59

In reply to Why do they do this to me?, posted by Pandabear on February 12, 2004, at 18:16:41

Panda, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I know what those obsessions are like, and it stinks that you've been set up like this. Maybe your pdoc calls it a "study", because she wants to see what happens if they try to limit you? But maybe you should tell them that this is not good for you and that you don't want to be part of any more studies.

If it's going to create a huge amount of suffering for you, I would hope your T would prefer that you just call and chat a couple of times during the week. Maybe you should show your T this post? I just really feel how much you're hurting, and I want to make it better. But I don't really think that's within my powers. Go ahead and post the heck out of babble, though, in the meantime if it makes you feel better. I'll try to keep an eye out and respond when I can.

(((panda)))

- p

 

Re: Why do they do this to me? pegasus

Posted by Pandabear on February 12, 2004, at 19:11:03

In reply to Re: Why do they do this to me? Pandabear, posted by pegasus on February 12, 2004, at 18:38:59

Thanks for your post. Even if I do go and tell them that I dont want to be a part of this "study" I cannot say anything until Monday..my psychiatrist is making it really difficult for me to face my therapist...I feel like they both think I am crazy now or something..I dont think my therapist thinks that...but thats what it makes me feel like. My psychiatrist was laughing and saying im such an "obsessor" I know I obsess but I dont think it is funny at all...its quite exhausting....

 

Re: Why do they do this to me? Pandabear

Posted by fallsfall on February 12, 2004, at 23:09:28

In reply to Re: Why do they do this to me? pegasus, posted by Pandabear on February 12, 2004, at 19:11:03

I certainly can relate to you! I was obsessed with a friend, and then started therapy. The friendship ended (painfully) and I became obsessed with my therapist (except we called it "dependent").

She wanted to make me less dependent by limiting my sessions. I had stopped calling her because I was afraid that she would think I was "dependent" and I knew that was "bad". I will say that I did develop some pretty good distress tolerance skills. So it was a long story, but I had to terminate with her and now I have a different therapist (she does CBT, he does Psychodynamic). I am dependent on him, too - but he handles it differently. I see him twice a week (which I thinks helps me), and I can call him (but if I call more than once in two weeks I think I'm calling too much). Sometimes he tries to get me to tolerate not getting what I need (right now that is approval), but when it gets intolerable for me he gives me enough of what I need so that I can function again.

So, yes, I know what you are going through and how hard it is. There are different ideas of what will help, and if you have a long talk with your therapist, and you don't like what she is proposing, tell her that and see if the two of you can come up with another idea.

Distress tolerance suggestions:

1. Write a letter to your therapist (or 2, or 3, or 15 if you want)
2. Call a friend and rant and rave for a limited time (15 minutes?).
3. Watch a movie (on TV or rented) - this works best if it is a good movie and you haven't seen it before.
4. Read Psychology books (the more technical, the better)
5. Take a nap.
6. Cuddle with your dog or cat.
7. Draw a picture with crayons (they smell really nice)
8. Go for a walk with a friend and don't talk about therapy at all
9. Go to work.
10. Become addicted to a computer game (my favorites are Snood and MahJong Solitaire)
11. Post a lot on Babble
12. If you live in a warm climate find a playground with the old fashioned swings with the really long chains and see how high you can go
13. Play with a child
14. Walk around a craft store and look at every object (book stores work for me, too)
15. Some people like to clean, but I hate it.
16. Read "The Woman's Comfort Book" and try some things it suggests
17. Clean MY oven??? Please?
18. Anything else that you think is fun. Try to keep busy.

Set up some kind of reward system - Put 3 M&Ms in a bowl for every hour you don't call - then eat them before you go to bed. Or let yourself play a computer game every 2 hours or 1 hour or 30 minutes or whatever if you don't call. Or ask a friend to call you twice a day to congratulate you for making it that far.

Good luck.

 

Re: Why do they do this to me? Pandabear

Posted by Crooked Heart on February 13, 2004, at 3:27:34

In reply to Re: Why do they do this to me? pegasus, posted by Pandabear on February 12, 2004, at 19:11:03

Pandabear, I'm so sorry that things are so bad. What pegasus and fallsfall said looks like good advice to me.

Your psychiatrist shouldn't have laughed. I thought from what you said earlier that she'd been helpful, but laughing was just trivialising what you're going through.

The drug sounds pretty strong from what Fallen said. If you don't feel you should be taking it, can you get another professional opinion? Sorry, I don't know how all that works where you are.

Remember everyone here is supporting you. Please keep posting over the weekend if it helps.

Thinking of you. ((((Pandabear))))

 

Re: Why do they do this to me?

Posted by gardenergirl on February 13, 2004, at 7:26:39

In reply to Re: Why do they do this to me? Pandabear, posted by Crooked Heart on February 13, 2004, at 3:27:34

Pandabear,
I hope today is a little better. It sounds like a really difficult situation. I really liked the list that fallsfall created. (I may steal it for my clients if that's okay ff!)

Can you try to have an inner dialog with your T? Think through what you want to say right now and what you think your T might say? This may help to try to "hear" your T's voice in your head to get you through in between. Do you have a business card or something else that reminds you of your T? Maybe you can focus on having that. You are still connected even if you are not able to talk to her.

Do you sing or like music? Maybe you can make up a silly little song about your T to help you when you feel like you are obsessing the most.

Good luck. I am thinking of you. I know this will seem like a really tough weekend.

Take care and keep posting!

gg

 

Redirect: Seroquel

Posted by Dr. Bob on February 13, 2004, at 8:44:41

In reply to Re: Im about to really loose it., posted by Pandabear on February 11, 2004, at 21:58:29

> so now..since my doc has me trying out Seroquel..does anyone know if it really causes cataracts?

Sorry to interrupt, but I'd like to redirect follow-ups regarding medication to (just plain) Psycho-Babble. Here's a link:

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040210/msgs/312777.html

Thanks,

Bob

 

Re: Why do they do this to me? gardenergirl

Posted by fallsfall on February 13, 2004, at 11:17:59

In reply to Re: Why do they do this to me?, posted by gardenergirl on February 13, 2004, at 7:26:39

Of course, gg. My list would be honored to be associated with you.

 

Re: Why do they do this to me? Pandabear

Posted by fallsfall on February 13, 2004, at 11:33:15

In reply to Re: Why do they do this to me? pegasus, posted by Pandabear on February 12, 2004, at 19:11:03

Gardener Girl reminded me of something else that helps me. A "Transitional Object". It is like Linus' blanket, but I try to make it a little more grown up looking.

I carry a rabbit's foot in my pocket. It is very soft and when I fiddle with it, it comforts me. I love "soft" things - people's hair, soft dogs, stuffed animals etc. The rabbit's foot is small enough to fit in my pocket (and I can even fiddle with it while it is in my pocket). It is small enough that when I take it out usually people don't even notice. I wore most of the fur off my old one and had to find new ones (hard to find - I found them at a small hardware store) - got two. The purple one's dye came off all over my hands. The red on is OK. Maybe I can rinse the purple one (it is softer).

I have a friend who carries a "worry stone" it is maybe 1 1/2 inches square and not very thick. It is polished very smooth and there is an indent in the middle and she slides her thumb through the indent. Again, it is small and unobtrusive.

I feel lucky to have a picture of my therapist. It was on a web page (which has since been taken down). Sometimes I put his picture on my computer screen. I printed a copy (it is very small), and I keep it next to my bed. When I need him, I can look at it. It is a really good picture and has his "therapist" look perfectly. Only once I put the picture in my pocket and carried it with me.

Last night when I went to sleep I had two dogs in bed with me, and I was holding the rabbit's foot and my therapist's picture.

If you don't have a teddy bear you should absolutely make a top priority to find the softest most huggable stuffed animal you can find. This is one place where spending a little extra for good quality is really worth it. I like Gund. Toy's R Us also has really soft stuffed animals. My teddy bear was usurped in my bed (after 7 years) by my dogs, who stay softer over time, have heartbeats, and lick my face.

I also find that I can get comfort if I wear a velour shirt - that is the kind of softness that comforts me.

So see if you can find a "fiddle toy". If you look around your house or some stores, I bet that something will jump out at you that is comforting for you.

P.S. My rabbit's foot is also helpful when I feel like picking at my skin - so it helps to reduce my self-injury.

 

Re: Why do they do this to me?

Posted by Pandabear on February 13, 2004, at 16:19:17

In reply to Re: Why do they do this to me? Pandabear, posted by Crooked Heart on February 13, 2004, at 3:27:34

Ok so, I didnt do like i should have according to my psychiatrist... I called my therapist...I just wanted to talk to her about what my psychiatrist was wanting me to (Seeing how long i can go without talking to my therapist)..I left a message and the receptionist called me this morning and was confirming my appt for monday and then told me that my therapist was out of the office until monday...I told her it was ok and to just disregard the message and I would talk to her on Monday. I just wanted to talk to her before the weekend about this. I already have sooo much to talk to her about I didnt want to add another thing.. Being that it is Valentines Day tomorrow, my mind has been preoccupied at work so it isnt like im spending time thinking about how i wish i could talk to her..but that isnt to say that i havent been doing so previously...I cannot stand myself..Im so annoying...its no wonder I am so difficult to get along with...I have too many personal issues to deal with..I wish I wasnt like the way that I am...I feel so out of place..I know I was made the way I am for a reason but it bothers me because I have never known what it was about me that others didnt like and now that Im realizing it ..I DONT EVEN LIKE MYSELF..yet I dont want to change and Im finding it hard to change no matter what I do...:( Oh well.

 

Re: Im about to really loose it. Pandabear

Posted by thewriteone on February 13, 2004, at 18:29:37

In reply to Im about to really loose it., posted by Pandabear on February 6, 2004, at 17:59:27

Panda, I'm really sorry you're having such a hard time right now. We're all with you and here to listen. If you feel you need to speak with your T, then by all means, do so. Instead of thinking about how disappointed they will be in you (and believe me, I understand that concern), just try and think of it as that they work for you. Your well being is the most important thing in all of this. Take care and (((((((hugs))))))))))

 

Re: Why do they do this to me? Pandabear

Posted by Crooked Heart on February 14, 2004, at 4:28:09

In reply to Re: Why do they do this to me?, posted by Pandabear on February 13, 2004, at 16:19:17

Panda, you are having a really tough time time at the moment and struggling on. Well whatever you are thinking of yourself, I like you and admire you ((((Panda)))). Apart from anything else, has it struck you how brave you are to be so open when you post to us here?

Please keep posting over the weekend if it helps.

Take care

 

Re: Why do they do this to me? Crooked Heart

Posted by Pandabear on February 14, 2004, at 12:43:08

In reply to Re: Why do they do this to me? Pandabear, posted by Crooked Heart on February 14, 2004, at 4:28:09

Thanks for thinking Im brave..I guess I am I am just really frustrated and I want someone to be able to listen to me. I am so glad to have a place where I can post my thoughts. What makes it even better is that my therapist is supporting my posting things on here. I dont know if she has seen this site but, she is glad that I have something to go to when I get really anxious...I dont have much to post this weekend...but I am sure come monday I will have something ..Im meeting with my therapist at Five..after work since my boss doesnt support my appts during work hours...:( Have a great Valentines! ;)
PB

I wish I could meet everyone that has been so kind to me ...its great to talk to people but I feel like im connected to people even though I dont know them. Its also neat though to have the mystery of not knowing the person and getting advice from a complete stranger that is going through or that has gone through the same or similiar situation that I am...Its good to know that I am not alone..even when I feel that I am...Everyone is so supportive its such a good feeling for someone that is so depressed at times..Right now I am "up" and not depressed and I thank God for that and I hope I stay that way for a while!Thank you to everyone...Im sorry I dont respond with advice to other people but in all honesty, I do not feel that I am strong enough to be giving out advice. But, know that you are all in my thoughts and prayers, and...hopefully that is enough...Take Care and GodBless...

 

Re: Why do they do this to me? Pandabear

Posted by Crooked Heart on February 14, 2004, at 16:20:18

In reply to Re: Why do they do this to me? Crooked Heart, posted by Pandabear on February 14, 2004, at 12:43:08

> know that you are all in my thoughts and prayers, and...hopefully that is enough...Take Care and GodBless...


Aah, thanks so much Panda. More than enough :)

You have a great Valentine's too!

 

Re: Why do they do this to me?

Posted by Pandabear on February 17, 2004, at 17:38:13

In reply to Re: Why do they do this to me?, posted by gardenergirl on February 13, 2004, at 7:26:39

Alrighty, I need more help and advice. My issue is that my psychiatrist had set a boundary with me and wanted to see if I could go without talking to my therapist via phone. I did well and didnt talk to her all week until my appt yesterday, but today is another story. Yesterday after my session, I was thinking about everything and I got upset with my therapist and wanted to tell her. So I ended up writing her a letter and taking it to her today during my lunch break. Im not even supposed to be sending her letters according to my psychiatrist..YET, she also said that if I DID happen to call or write her ...to not worry that I did that because THAT is what they would be trying to figure out..why i feel like I have to write or call her. And, she told me not to feel like a failure if I messed up. BUT, while I was talking to my therapist about my meeting yesterday, she said it was obvious to her that a boundary was set...and now im obsessing over the fact that i wrote her a letter.

The way I look at it is, I have a therapist, I dont call for stupid reasons, she told me she is here for me and that I can call or whatever. Yet, now there is a boundary set and so NOW i feel as if I cannot talk to my therapist even though she is supposedly there for me! My letter consisted of my telling her that I feel like she and my psychiatrist are against me. They work in the same office and after my sessions they always converse with one another. I feel like they are watching my every move and that I cannot mess up at all. I feel like Im being treated like I am crazy. I also told her I didnt feel like she was on my side right now and even though she has told me she doesnt judge or take sides...I still feel like she is not on my side. I have started taking Lamictal for my mood disorder and seroquel for sleeping and my obsessions and anxiety. YET, i dont really have trouble sleeping so Im not very excited about it putting me to sleep when Im not ready to go to sleep :) But whatever. Im just worried as to what she is thinking about my letter. I live right accross the street from her office and as I was walking my dog I saw my psychiatrist leave...she usually leaves around 2 and so I immediately started thinking that she had been meeting with my therapist..(which might have been the case) but I didnt really know. I just dont want them thinking that I have gone too far and that I am a lost cause. It is so hard for me because my dad is a doctor and they know him..(my psychiatrist knows him) and the fact that I am his daughter and I have all these obsessive issues embarresses the crud out of me. And, I think it also embarresses my dad somewhat because he cannot really do anything to help me. I dont want my psychiatrist thinking 'goodness she is so and sos daughter and she is sooo obsessed' Im sure she wouldnt ...im just obsessing!!!! I need to be able to talk to my therapist...so what if I am obsessive...I just dont want to upset her or frustrate her and I dont know if I have. I want to know what she is thinking about me. My obsessing with having to talk to her is VERY SIMILIAR to my obsessing with this old friend of mine and he ended up putting a boundary on me for how many times I called him and now my psychiatrist has done the same thing. When my friend did this, it made me MORE OBSESSIVE...and I see this happening with my therapist and I am really scared. Im so ashamed of who I am. I told her in the letter that I can become very obsessive as far as the writing of letters goes and I dont want her and my psychiatrist to see this...but yet, it is happening and I cannot stop..and now I feel like Im going crazy. I literally felt so crazy when this first started happening 2 years ago and yet I was too sick to go to therapy and NOW that i am becoming obsessive again, I am wanting to back away and stop talking to her because I am scared that they will think I am crazy and put me in the hospital or something......:( I dont know what to do. I am very worried but I needed to tell her how I felt...now she will be discussing the letter at our next session...woohoo :( I feel like im always asking for anxiety ridden situations yet Im really NOT ...I just cannot stop obsessing and I dont want them to see me like this....:( What can I do...Im so lost.


Go forward in thread:


Show another thread

URL of post in thread:


Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ


[dr. bob] Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD, bob@dr-bob.org

Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.