Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 311528

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Re: I'm Upset Elle2021

Posted by Karen_kay on February 10, 2004, at 8:31:54

In reply to I'm Upset, posted by Elle2021 on February 10, 2004, at 0:14:41

(((((Elle))))))

I'm sorry you and your mum fought. And I'm sorry she took that cheap shot at you. I wish I could give you a hug and put a bandaid on your wound.

Know that we all slide back at times, and that's part of recovering. It happens and it doesn't mean that you aren't healing. It's part of the process..

Some people are in denial of different types of illnesses. Some people just don't want to accept that it's real. Try not to take your mom's words to heart. We're here for you. Always!!!

 

(((Elle))), I hope you are doing better today (nm)

Posted by gardenergirl on February 10, 2004, at 9:14:27

In reply to Re: I'm Upset Elle2021, posted by Karen_kay on February 10, 2004, at 8:31:54

 

Re: I'm Upset Elle2021

Posted by DaisyM on February 10, 2004, at 10:10:39

In reply to Re: I'm Upset DaisyM, posted by Elle2021 on February 10, 2004, at 1:06:03

>>>My safe place isn't going to be realistic. It won't be a room or anything like that. I have to say I imagine myself on a tropical island where the sand is really warm. My grandma is there and so is my therapist. It's safe there because there isn't anything that could possibly make me upset and even if there was, my grandma and T are there to help.

Can I steal part of this? I never thought about taking my Therapist with me (wonder what his wife would say, she is a Therapist too...) and I never let myself wonder past what would be realistic. I was trying to be practical and "make do." I guess the point of all this is to imagine perfection and work towards it to meet your needs.

I hope you are better today. Please call your Therapist, if nothing else than to touch base. The middle of the night lows are the worst, we can deal with our demons (and our mothers) in the sunshine.

It is supposed to be 72 degrees today and sunny. I am so glad! Maybe I should play hooky...
I'd love to know how you are doing. Keep those questions, I'd like to know the answers sometime.
-D

 

Re: I'm Upset

Posted by pegasus on February 10, 2004, at 11:31:54

In reply to I'm Upset, posted by Elle2021 on February 10, 2004, at 0:14:41

Hi Elle,

I'm sorry that your mom isn't getting the whole OCD thing. It's so hard when people who you care about deny something so big in your life. Ideally she would be a whole heck of a lot more supportive. I hope it helps a little if you can get support elsewhere, like here, and your T.

I'm also sorry that you ended up SI-ing to cope, and then felt bad about yourself. It's a cycle that I know very well. I'm glad you have *some* way to cope, and I hope you are able to find other ways that don't feel so bad. If you post here when you need help with that, I promise I'll try to respond, if that's any help. Maybe answering Daisy's questions will help. That sounded like a good idea.

(((Elle)))

Also, Daisy, I like your safe place assignment. When I did that, I always thought of an attic room filled with books and a comfy chair, and a window with sun coming in, with people I care about in the room below talking so I could hear them. Don't know why I didn't want them there, but I did want them near. I never thought about putting my T there, but I think I will from now on.

- p

 

Re: I'm Upset

Posted by shortelise on February 10, 2004, at 12:01:52

In reply to Re: I'm Upset, posted by pegasus on February 10, 2004, at 11:31:54

Forgive me for assumptions - but isn't that sort of crap from your mom part of what has you in the place you are today? Sheesh.

I have learned not to expect the impossible from my mother, and the impossible is that she empathize, that she respect my feelings and how I am, which is very different from how she is. It's not gonna happen, she is not capable. It sure can hurt sometimes though.

Shorte

 

Re: I'm Upset pegasus

Posted by DaisyM on February 10, 2004, at 12:12:25

In reply to Re: I'm Upset, posted by pegasus on February 10, 2004, at 11:31:54

I wonder what is symbolic of the attic versus the basement? I like the image of a rocking chair.

I'm beginning to form a picture that looks a lot like the old reading room in the library I loved. Surrounded by books with vigilent librarians to keep everyone from asking me questions or making demands on me. I'm not sure how my Therapist comes into play here, yet, but I'm thinking about that.

I also have thought of my office, believe it or not. I have two windows, one of which faces west. When the sun goes down over the coast in the very late afternoon, it comes directly in my office. Since we close down at 4ish, usually I'm the only one still here. I can play Reba LOUD, sing and work, ignore the phones and feel peaceful. Yeah, maybe that's it.

Next question - I think I'll start a new thread for this one...

 

Re: I'm Upset Elle2021

Posted by Penny on February 10, 2004, at 12:22:51

In reply to I'm Upset, posted by Elle2021 on February 10, 2004, at 0:14:41

(((Elle)))

I don't know that I have anything beneficial to add other than to second what Daisy, All Done and pegasus said. And I'm glad you're here - and I'm glad babble can be a safe place for you. There are so few safe places in this world, or so it seems to me.

keep posting as much as you need to.

P

 

Re: safe spaces DaisyM

Posted by Penny on February 10, 2004, at 12:27:12

In reply to Re: I'm Upset pegasus, posted by DaisyM on February 10, 2004, at 12:12:25

>I wonder what is symbolic of the attic versus the basement?

I know, for me, and I've never had a 'real' attic - just the storage kind that you don't spend time in really - but our basements were always sort of cold, dark and dank. Moist, and pretty depressing. But when I think of my ideal 'attic' - I see a room with warm yellow sunlight streaming through the window - a dormer window with a windowseat. Yellow flowery curtains, and a hardwood floor. Old trunks, perhaps a desk, a place that kids would enjoy playing dress-up and where I can sit and read and look out over the countryside (as a house with an attic like this could never be in a city) and just think or journal.

I've always always wanted a room like that. Maybe I'll get to have one someday?

P

 

Re: I'm Upset Elle2021

Posted by terrics on February 10, 2004, at 16:54:12

In reply to I'm Upset, posted by Elle2021 on February 10, 2004, at 0:14:41

Hi Elle, OH MOTHERS! Mine is bipolar and thinks it's GREAT that we are both mentally ill..that we have that in common. You know the truth about your OCD and that is what is important. terrrics

 

Re: I'm Upset pegasus

Posted by gardenergirl on February 10, 2004, at 17:13:00

In reply to Re: I'm Upset, posted by pegasus on February 10, 2004, at 11:31:54

What a great safe place! Sounds like somewhere I would like to visit. I also like the idea of knowing that loved ones are nearby but not right in your way. I SO need my time alone.

Take care,

gg

 

Re: safe spaces Penny

Posted by DaisyM on February 10, 2004, at 17:26:10

In reply to Re: safe spaces DaisyM, posted by Penny on February 10, 2004, at 12:27:12

I hope you get this someday and I believe you will. I can totally picture it! Add a little rain on the roof sometimes and hot chocolate...yeah, that would be great.
:)

 

Thanks for the support everyone! (nm)

Posted by Elle2021 on February 10, 2004, at 22:11:17

In reply to Re: safe spaces Penny, posted by DaisyM on February 10, 2004, at 17:26:10

 

Re: I'm Upset DaisyM

Posted by Elle2021 on February 10, 2004, at 22:15:42

In reply to Re: I'm Upset Elle2021, posted by DaisyM on February 10, 2004, at 10:10:39

> Can I steal part of this?

Of course you can! :)

> It is supposed to be 72 degrees today and sunny. I am so glad! Maybe I should play hooky...

72 degrees!! You are so fortunate. It's so cold here, about 32 degrees F. Hopefully it will warm up soon, spring is almost here (or at least I keep telling myself that!).

One of the answers to your q's.
My favorite joke...I can't remember who the quote is by, I guess it's more of a funny quote. Goes something like this:

"I was walking past a house one evening, and I saw a man hammering on a roof. He looked at me and told me I was crazy...in Morse code."

Elle

 

Re: I'm Upset

Posted by DaisyM on February 10, 2004, at 22:36:47

In reply to Re: I'm Upset DaisyM, posted by Elle2021 on February 10, 2004, at 22:15:42

Love the joke! I'm gonna use it on my kids.
How are you doing tonight?

 

Re: I'm Upset DaisyM

Posted by Elle2021 on February 12, 2004, at 1:05:13

In reply to Re: I'm Upset, posted by DaisyM on February 10, 2004, at 22:36:47

> How are you doing tonight?

Not too bad. I went to the doctor (a regular one) yesterday. I found out I have the beginnings of an upper respitory infection. Ew! I don't like being sick. But, she gave me a bottle of cough syrup with Codeine, so I can't complain. :) Hehe, jk. I'm feeling better about school and my mother. I guess it just really hurt my feelings, but I'm over it now. She doesn't understand and probably won't unless (God forbid) she experiences it. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Maybe I could leave some literature around so she can read it. Hmm... So whats your favorite joke?
Elle

 

My favorite joke Elle2021

Posted by DaisyM on February 12, 2004, at 10:48:59

In reply to Re: I'm Upset DaisyM, posted by Elle2021 on February 12, 2004, at 1:05:13

What did the fish say when he ran into a solid rock?

...Damn!

:)

I'm also big on elephant jokes as I collect them. I have over 100 in my office.

 

I've Been Cut Off...

Posted by Elle2021 on February 12, 2004, at 15:58:10

In reply to My favorite joke Elle2021, posted by DaisyM on February 12, 2004, at 10:48:59

I have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow. I told my mother about this and she decided suddenly that she, "Can't afford to pay for my therapy anymore." This, after an argument a week ago over her paranoid delusion that I only badmouth her during all my therapy sessions. I don't know what to do. She doesn't understand how badly I need to see my therapist. I'm almost afraid to ask if things can get any worse, but with my depression and insomnia, I think there about to. No, I'm not talking about suicide. I'm talking about losing all the progress I felt like I was making. I felt like I was making a lot of headway, and now once again it's hindered. I just don't know what to do anymore or how to deal with any of this.
Elle

 

Re: I've Been Cut Off... Elle2021

Posted by Dinah on February 12, 2004, at 17:03:06

In reply to I've Been Cut Off..., posted by Elle2021 on February 12, 2004, at 15:58:10

I'm so sorry about that, Elle. Maybe she'll change her mind. Does your mother often make sudden decisions? If she does, does she often change them? Maybe your therapist could talk to her? Or your pdoc?

Do you have any counseling options through school, or places that work on a sliding scale? I know it's not the same thing as having your own therapist, but maybe it could help some, at least.

I really do empathize. I had to throw myself on my husband's mercy this morning because I have far overrun my therapy budget this month. And am far under my work (and thus income) budget. My husband was great, but it's horrid to have to try to explain to someone just how badly you're feeling in order to justify the cost to them. :(

 

Re: I've Been Cut Off...

Posted by pegasus on February 12, 2004, at 18:45:58

In reply to Re: I've Been Cut Off... Elle2021, posted by Dinah on February 12, 2004, at 17:03:06

Oh no! Elle, I hope she'll change her mind. I agree that it might be a good idea to look into other therapy options. Also, if you've been with your T for a while, maybe (s)he'll agree to reduce your rates for a couple of weeks until you can figure out what's going on? I also liked the idea of your T or pdoc talking to your mom. If you can handle that idea. I know I wouldn't want mine talking to my mom, but then I'm in my late 30s and haven't depended on my mom for much in the last 20 years.

I'm not sure exactly what your situation is, but it sounds like you don't have insurance. If you can give a few details, maybe we can help you brainstorm about options. Also, maybe your T can help come up with ideas.

- p

 

Dinah Pegasus

Posted by Elle2021 on February 12, 2004, at 18:57:02

In reply to Re: I've Been Cut Off..., posted by pegasus on February 12, 2004, at 18:45:58

Hi guys, thanks for responding. I've been really sick for the past two days, and I feel even worse now. I'm gonna take a break from posting until I feel better. I have a fever and what seems to be a developing upper respitory infection. ugh. Thanks for the support, I'll be back when I feel better.
Elle

 

Re: Take care of yourself. Think liquids. (nm) Elle2021

Posted by Dinah on February 12, 2004, at 21:10:13

In reply to Dinah Pegasus, posted by Elle2021 on February 12, 2004, at 18:57:02

 

Re: I've Been Cut Off... Elle2021

Posted by All Done on February 13, 2004, at 0:23:43

In reply to I've Been Cut Off..., posted by Elle2021 on February 12, 2004, at 15:58:10

I'm sorry you're going through such a tough time, Elle. (Right now I'm really wishing we were back in the beauty pageant days. It wasn't that long ago, but we all seemed to be doing a little better then.)

Get yourself physically well first and then you'll be stronger to tackle the stuff with your mom. Hopefully, things will settle down a bit with some time, too.

My favorite things to get better:

magazines
the couch (with plenty of pillows and blankets)
milkshakes (I don't know why - I think it's a result of lots of childhood sore throats)
Nyquil and naps (these two go hand in hand, I suppose)

Do whatever works to make yourself feel better.

Get well soon,
All Done

 

((Elle))Chicken soup, lots of tissue, jello, PBJ (nm)

Posted by gardenergirl on February 13, 2004, at 7:30:09

In reply to Re: I've Been Cut Off... Elle2021, posted by All Done on February 13, 2004, at 0:23:43

 

My rant and update

Posted by Elle2021 on February 14, 2004, at 2:09:34

In reply to ((Elle))Chicken soup, lots of tissue, jello, PBJ (nm), posted by gardenergirl on February 13, 2004, at 7:30:09

I'm still sick. Today was probably the worst of it, so I know (hope and pray) that the next few days will be spent recovering. I think I've just about coughed my lungs up. :) My nose hurts too! All dry from blowing it too often.

I had another arugemnt with my mother today over my therapy visits. She agreed to pay for one session a month. I hate to sound ungrateful, but that is still not enough. I guess it's better than nothing though. Still makes me sad.

I'm depressed over my depression. Especially over the fact that I have tried a variety of medications (SSRI's, trycilics, anti-psy, benzos, etc), and nothing helps. I've been like this for six years. Does anyone know if Dysthmia ever cures itself? It upsets me that even when good things happen, I still don't feel happy. It makes me feel like I'm ungrateful and undeserving altogether, and I really hate feeling that way.

I'm irritated with myself because I'm attracted to not-so-healthy guys. If there's a bad one in the bunch, I'll go straight for him... ugh. But before that, before I even say one word to him, I will idealize him in my head until I have myself believing he is close to perfect. And that is just setting myself up for disappointment, but I do it constantly.

Anyway, thanks for reading. Any advice, support is welcome...
Elle

 

Re: My rant and update

Posted by Crooked Heart on February 14, 2004, at 5:08:39

In reply to My rant and update, posted by Elle2021 on February 14, 2004, at 2:09:34

Hi Elle, I hope you're over the worst of it too. Is your mother OK about physical illnesses and if so, might she help you with getting better with this one?

Like you say, once a month is better than nothing but not nearly enough. So it's maybe still worth using some of the ideas that people have suggested?

I am truly sorry that you are feeling so bad about yourself. Wish I could wave a magic wand for you, but I can't. So just to tell you that you are loved and cared about here.


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