Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 311700

Shown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Safety - A new question

Posted by DaisyM on February 10, 2004, at 12:32:17

The second half of the "What does safety look like for you?" question is "Why?" What makes your safe place, safe?

Along those lines, do you feel safe with your Therapist? In his/her office? Why or why not?

I'd love to hear what you guys think. I'm struggling with this more than I thought I would.

 

Re: Safety - A new question

Posted by poet on February 10, 2004, at 12:48:33

In reply to Safety - A new question, posted by DaisyM on February 10, 2004, at 12:32:17

Hi Daisy,

My mental safe place is being alone on a beach, watching the ocean waves and feeling the warmth of the sun. The image makes me feel warm and peaceful.

My therapist knows that I still have major problems with trust, and when she see's me trying to mentally flee, she tells me it's okay to go to my safe place.

She is a bit out there, I hope that doesn't sound too strange.

Poet

 

Re: Safety - A new question DaisyM

Posted by Penny on February 10, 2004, at 12:56:15

In reply to Safety - A new question, posted by DaisyM on February 10, 2004, at 12:32:17

I do feel safe in my T's office. She has lots of books, and several birdfeeders outside her window, and stuffed animals in a basket, and her office has a somewhat cluttered, comfortable look about it. Soft lighting, quiet, comfortable. Safe. I like it.

P

 

Re: Safety - A new question DaisyM

Posted by terrics on February 10, 2004, at 17:00:16

In reply to Safety - A new question, posted by DaisyM on February 10, 2004, at 12:32:17

I never feel really safe. I love my T, but she doesn't make me feel warm and fuzzy. Sometimes when my hubby is home in another room and I am reading I feel sort of safe. terrics

 

Re: Safety - A new question terrics

Posted by DaisyM on February 10, 2004, at 17:30:17

In reply to Re: Safety - A new question DaisyM, posted by terrics on February 10, 2004, at 17:00:16

Aw terrics...I'm sorry. Maybe you can begin to think about how to build safety? It has taken me a long time to trust my Therapist and there are still things that make me nervous. But, I do feel safe when I am with him.

Maybe the question should be why don't you feel safe? And is there a way to fix this?

 

Re: Safety - A new question

Posted by lilmsbubbles07 on February 10, 2004, at 21:08:35

In reply to Safety - A new question, posted by DaisyM on February 10, 2004, at 12:32:17

at one point in time i felt very very safe with my former t and then i was discharged and he took me back and i felt safe again !! now that i am with a new t i feel very very very very very very UNSAFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Re: Safety - A new question DaisyM

Posted by Elle2021 on February 10, 2004, at 22:19:09

In reply to Safety - A new question, posted by DaisyM on February 10, 2004, at 12:32:17

> The second half of the "What does safety look like for you?" question is "Why?" What makes your safe place, safe?

The people I am with make my safe place, safe.


> Along those lines, do you feel safe with your Therapist? In his/her office? Why or why not?

Yes, I feel safe in her office. It's small and the colors are pretty neutral, but she has an interesting painting that she sits in front of. When I can't think of an answer for one of her questions I sit and stare at it. She sits close to me, but not too close. I like that.
Elle

 

Re: Safety - A new question DaisyM

Posted by pegasus on February 11, 2004, at 12:15:25

In reply to Safety - A new question, posted by DaisyM on February 10, 2004, at 12:32:17

Oh, I love this. Daisy, can we do all of your assignments with you?

I never felt completely safe with my old T, but it got safer and safer feeling over time. I was always too on edge about what we were going to talk about. I can't think of what he could have done to make it better. He was very kind and gentle. I think it was just me.

But . . . I feel safer in my new T's office. Maybe it's just her style. Also, I like her chairs better. And she calls me sweetie :) No, honestly, I think it's because now I've done therapy before, and I have a better idea what it's all about. So I'm more comfortable with the process.

I think my safe place (the attic room with books) feels safe because no one is asking anything from me, but they're nearby if I need them. Also, it's a place where it's OK to go inside myself and have my own personal experience, and not have to answer to anyone for it.

-p

 

Re: Safety - A new question DaisyM

Posted by Karen_kay on February 11, 2004, at 13:32:46

In reply to Safety - A new question, posted by DaisyM on February 10, 2004, at 12:32:17

Daisy! I've actually done the "safe place" visual imagery assignment in my therapist's office before! How strange is that???

My safe place (and it is the same as I told him) is my bedroom. Not my bedroom growing up, but my current bedroom. I have a queen size bed, with an antique frame that is black with some sort of design. My bedsheets currenty are navy blue and cotton t-shirt. I use 2 pillows, sometimes 3. I have My sheet, a navy blanket and a quilt that my boyfriend's great grandmother made. It's pink and blue and yellow and FABULOUS!!! My boyfriend in snuggled next to me and my therapist is sitting in the corner where I have a section for reading with a table, bookshelf, and lamp. I also have navy curtains, so he can't read, as no lights are allowe either. He jsut has to sit there and watch over me.

It's safe because I can leave the door open with a light on in the wallway if I need to. It's also safe because I can pull the covers over my head and forget the day ever happened :) And my bed is so comfortable...


I'd love to say I don't feel safe in my therapist's office, as I'm kinda mad at him.. But i'd be a big fat liar! Ifeel SOOOO safe there. Every time I walk in, I have to move the chair, as the previous client movedit a bit. Last session, he moved it for me. that was sweet of him to do. I feel safe because nothing bad is going to happen. And if it does, then it WILL be resolved. *It's not like real life, where feelings get hurt and no one talks about it. I can say, "listen jerk, you hurt my feelings!" And not worry about the backlash. I know that everything that happens in that office will be resolved. That he's not going to hurt me. That I can be honest. That he's also going to be honest, but it's in my best interest. I feel so safe in that office. Can I live there???

 

Safe danger?

Posted by shortelise on February 11, 2004, at 14:13:21

In reply to Safety - A new question, posted by DaisyM on February 10, 2004, at 12:32:17

This is so interesting - I am about to sit down and write about my own safe place. And why.

It will be about smells and colour, nothing to assault my senses, and no places for unseen and unheard menaces to approach.

On one level I feel safe with my T. He can hear me, see me, and listen to me in a way I have not known before. And I know that no matter what happens, or I believe that no matter what happens there, he can handle it. Or should I say, he can help me handle it?

On another level, I am afraid there, because I feel things that are hard to feel, and sometimes my pride is injured because of the things he points out that are hard to look at. And I can be afraid that I'll lose it. One time when he asked about something that happened long ago, I put my head in my hand and went away. He explained later that it was dissociation, but I'd never experienced it before and it felt like madness. That's frightening.

Can there be a place of safe danger? If so, that's what I'd call it.

Shorte

 

Re: Safety - A new question

Posted by cubic_me on February 12, 2004, at 7:47:11

In reply to Safety - A new question, posted by DaisyM on February 10, 2004, at 12:32:17

My safest place would be in my current bedroom at uni, with no one else in the house. I like being alone (not that I don't socialise), but I feel less pressurised that way - no one can be trying to figure me out.

I don't feel unsafe in my T's office, though I don't feel safe either, I often feel like I'm under attack, though I know its not her style, its my interpretation. Its a big office and our chairs are quite far away, sometimes I feel like I'm stuck out in the middle of the room, kind of alone with nothing to hide behind or cling on to.

 

Re: Safety - A new question cubic_me

Posted by DaisyM on February 12, 2004, at 10:58:23

In reply to Re: Safety - A new question, posted by cubic_me on February 12, 2004, at 7:47:11

I often cling to the couch pillows so I can't imagine being in the middle of the room. Can you change that? I also know what you mean about being home alone sometimes. It can feel kind of like a cacoon.

 

Re: Safe danger? shortelise

Posted by DaisyM on February 12, 2004, at 11:01:18

In reply to Safe danger?, posted by shortelise on February 11, 2004, at 14:13:21

I think safe danger is incredibly accurate. Especially when we try to think why something is safe - is the place, the people with us or the fact that certain people aren't with us.

I know what you mean about going away. I did that to and it scared me to death. You feel like you are losing yourself - disconnecting. What did your Therapist do? Mine just sort of asked, "where did you go?" to call me back.

 

Re: Safety - A new question DaisyM

Posted by cubic_me on February 14, 2004, at 11:39:55

In reply to Re: Safety - A new question cubic_me, posted by DaisyM on February 12, 2004, at 10:58:23

I don't think that there is much I can change about the seating. I'm not litetally in the middle of the room, maybe a metre or two from the edge, but it feels like I'm in the middle of nowhere!

I'm usually quite matter of fact in therapy, so I doubt I'd do much differently on a comfy couch - but it would be nice to think that I could hug the pillows if i wanted to!

 

Re: Safety - A new question

Posted by gardenergirl on February 14, 2004, at 15:41:38

In reply to Re: Safety - A new question DaisyM, posted by cubic_me on February 14, 2004, at 11:39:55

When I first went to see my T, I thought he was too far away. I sit on a couch and he sits in a chair across the room. There is a chair next to his with an end table right between, but I don't like the side by side thing.

Now I guess I am used to being that far away, but initially, if I could, I would have moved the whole couch closer!

gg


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