Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 310266

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Re: Im about to really loose it. Pandabear

Posted by Elle2021 on February 6, 2004, at 20:26:10

In reply to Im about to really loose it., posted by Pandabear on February 6, 2004, at 17:59:27

What you just described your boss saying about your therapist/therapy is exactly the reason I don't discuss my therapy with anyone excpet people on this board. People who don't suffer from a mental illness don't really get it. The consensus seems to be that they all think we should just "snap out of it," or "think positively." Like Gardenergirl says, thats like telling someone with Diabetes to make more insulin. It just doesn't work that way. I sympathize with you.
Elle

 

Re: Im about to really loose it. Elle2021

Posted by Pandabear on February 6, 2004, at 21:26:48

In reply to Re: Im about to really loose it. Pandabear, posted by Elle2021 on February 6, 2004, at 20:26:10

Yeah, Im learning the hard way about who, what and when to tell things to...:( even though my boss and I are good friends outside of the office...she doesnt understand my situation even though she says she does...its so frustrating..:(

 

Re: Im about to really loose it. Pandabear

Posted by DaisyM on February 6, 2004, at 22:13:35

In reply to Re: Im about to really loose it. Elle2021, posted by Pandabear on February 6, 2004, at 21:26:48

I'll echo what everyone else said, don't tell people who don't understand. They make you feel worse. The only one to decide what you need/want/wish is you. And that should be enough.

But you have to be strong about your boundaries. Keep repeating, "thank you for your concern. I'm taking care of it." A wise friend recently told me to say that, and she is right.

Now practice, practice, practice. And eat ice cream. Or my personal favorite: cream of wheat. (really - it works!)

 

Re: Im about to really loose it. Pandabear

Posted by Elle2021 on February 7, 2004, at 4:15:00

In reply to Re: Im about to really loose it. Elle2021, posted by Pandabear on February 6, 2004, at 21:26:48

I know it's frustrating, I just had a similar discussion with my mum. She just doesn't get it.
Elle

 

Re: Im about to really loose it.

Posted by gardenergirl on February 7, 2004, at 13:27:32

In reply to Re: Im about to really loose it. Pandabear, posted by Elle2021 on February 7, 2004, at 4:15:00

I'm fortunate that I am surrounded by colleages that work in the field, and so understand what I am going through. But I find that most of the rest of the world who have never been through it can be really insensitive even when they are trying to show that they care. My own brother tells me to my face and in emails that therapy and meds is hooey. Hello? Besides the fact that I need both for my depression, what have I spent the last four years working my tail off to be????? He's not only calling me weak for needing something, he's calling me crazy for trying to become, in his words, "a quack." Ain't families grand? And of course my dad seems to think I have been spending all this time writing a book. Dissertation, Dad, dissertation.

Whatever! End of rant.

I like Daisy's suggestion (I think it was Daisy). "Thank you for caring..." I do believe the people are trying to help in their own clueless way.

And Daisy, I love oatmeal!

gg

 

CoW is NOT Oatmeal! DaisyM

Posted by DaisyM on February 7, 2004, at 18:54:53

In reply to Re: Im about to really loose it. Pandabear, posted by DaisyM on February 6, 2004, at 22:13:35

There is a distinct difference you know, between cream of wheat and oatmeal (she says haughtily!)

And, I like my CoW with lumps (gasp), real butter and no milk. I do not like the instant runny stuff.

I like oatmeal with raisins too, though. It just isn't as quick to make me feel better.

Both are a lot cheaper than therapy! LOL

 

Re: Im about to really loose it.

Posted by Crooked Heart on February 8, 2004, at 4:33:53

In reply to Re: Im about to really loose it. Elle2021, posted by Pandabear on February 6, 2004, at 21:26:48

Like everybody says, you're the judge of what's best for you.

I think sometimes people are just so afraid when they see that someone who matters to them is in pain, and it sort of comforts them to believe that the person could 'snap out of it'.

Take care.

 

Re: CoW is NOT Oatmeal!

Posted by gardenergirl on February 8, 2004, at 9:42:05

In reply to CoW is NOT Oatmeal! DaisyM, posted by DaisyM on February 7, 2004, at 18:54:53

Well, I was trying to avoid saying I hate CoW. Sorry, but I was just trying to relate to the comfort food thing. I promise I'll never compare them again. (on knees bowing down to the CoW gourmand)

:-)

gg

 

Re: CoW is NOT Oatmeal!

Posted by Fallen4myT on February 8, 2004, at 23:09:08

In reply to Re: CoW is NOT Oatmeal!, posted by gardenergirl on February 8, 2004, at 9:42:05

I do not remember who started this but tonight I bought some C.o. W (it has been years) because I use to love it and it is NOT low carb which is how I have eatten for 3 years now ....These boards can be a bad influence :)

 

Re: CoW RULES!

Posted by DaisyM on February 8, 2004, at 23:32:41

In reply to Re: CoW is NOT Oatmeal!, posted by Fallen4myT on February 8, 2004, at 23:09:08

WOW, CONVERTS!!!
I feel so powerful.

 

Re: CoW RULES! DaisyM

Posted by Fallen4myT on February 8, 2004, at 23:43:29

In reply to Re: CoW RULES!, posted by DaisyM on February 8, 2004, at 23:32:41

LOL so it's YOU !!! Ah ha! LMAO OMG I am gonna nosh on carbs with milk AND butter AND Equal. SHAME ON YOU LOL

oh and maybe toast like I ate it as a kid with lots of butter

> WOW, CONVERTS!!!
> I feel so powerful.
>

 

Re: Im about to really loose it. Pandabear

Posted by Crooked Heart on February 10, 2004, at 6:34:32

In reply to Re: Im about to really loose it. Elle2021, posted by Pandabear on February 6, 2004, at 21:26:48

Hi Pandabear

How are you? Hope things are better than last Friday?

Take care.

 

Re: Im about to really loose it. Crooked Heart

Posted by Pandabear on February 10, 2004, at 11:47:29

In reply to Re: Im about to really loose it. Pandabear, posted by Crooked Heart on February 10, 2004, at 6:34:32

Hello. Actually, This past weekend was one of the worst weekends as far as my depression goes. I got into a conversation about my therapy with my boss and she was basically telling me to snap out of it and she was wanting to know exactly what I was talking about with my therapist (which i did NOT tell her). I was SO FLOORED that she was asking me these things and getting all into my business plus my dad and i were fighting and so too make a long story short. I became really depressed and almost had to go to the hospital. I didnt know what to do. But, I would have gotten on here and posted some but I couldnt even get out of bed. Yet, at the same time, I still didnt feel that I should have called the doc on call because I didnt think my situation was bad enough. BUT, I am going to talk to my psychiatrist today about what happened. It scares me that I can go down so quickly. It was really uncalled for though the way that my boss was talking to me..and she was telling me that I was talking about petty things...she has no idea what is going on in my life. AND, what I talk about is between my therapists and I..agree? :) Can you tell I have been worked up about this? Im more emotional than anything else...but I will be ok. Thanks for asking how I was though...I need prayers right about now...:)

 

Re: Im about to really loose it. Pandabear

Posted by gardenergirl on February 10, 2004, at 17:09:48

In reply to Re: Im about to really loose it. Crooked Heart, posted by Pandabear on February 10, 2004, at 11:47:29

((((Pandabear))))

I'm so sorry you had such a crash. I think your boss was way out of line. Somebody else posted a wonderful response to nosy people. Something like "Thank you for your concern. I'm taking care of it with my therapist" or something similar. It's nobody's business what is between you and your T.

Please take care of yourself. I'm glad you are going to talk to your pdoc.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

gg

 

Re: Im about to really loose it. Pandabear

Posted by Crooked Heart on February 10, 2004, at 17:38:25

In reply to Re: Im about to really loose it. Crooked Heart, posted by Pandabear on February 10, 2004, at 11:47:29

Too right! Nobody's business but yours what you talk to your therapist about. It sounds really as though your boss has her own issues (being frightened by someone else's vulnerability?). Whatever, you can do without it. If it happens again is there a way of saying FIRMLY and POLITELY that it's your business? (Politely is good if you can do it, because you've got the moral upper hand then. Also you still have to work with your boss, and isn't she a sort of friend as well?)

It sounds like you had a dreadful weekend what with fighting with your dad too. Let us know how you get on seeing your pdoc.

Thinking of you and lots of hugs ((((Pandabear))))

 

Re: Im about to really loose it. Crooked Heart

Posted by Pandabear on February 10, 2004, at 19:53:34

In reply to Re: Im about to really loose it. Pandabear, posted by Crooked Heart on February 10, 2004, at 17:38:25

Thank you thank you for being so kind...I did talk to my psychiatrist and she decided to put me on seroquel? Have you heard of it?? It is a seditive but it is supposed to help me sleep better and then during the day it is supposed to help my anxiety. AND, the lower the anxiety, the less i will obsess...(hopefully). But, I did tell her about my weekend and she said that anyone would have reacted the way that I had...But, I dont think she realized how that I couldnt even get out of bed. I was so scared. She said to just wait and speak to my therapist about it at my next appt which is on monday...sooooo, I will. But she is testing me now to see if I can go for long periods without talking to my therapist either by phone or by dropping her a note. IF I am able to go a week without..then i can reward myself with something like a massage or soemthing..I asked her what would happen if I messed up and called my therapist, would she be mad...and she said "see it isnt what we think that really matters..its what you think that we think ...that is the problem.." Because this shows them that I am obsessing and worrying to the point where it isnt good for me. (yes i worry way too much) But, I work in a doctors office and I know that we dont like it when someone calls us all the time..so it has to be annoying when people call them constantly...BUT, I also think "WHO CARES" how many times I call. If Im calling them (and I only call for legitimate reasons...I never call to 'shoot the breeze', then they will realize that something is wrong and be able to fix it ..right?) She told me if i have to call, to write down why i feel like I have to and then bring it in to my next session and talk to my therapist about it. (Can you tell Im obsessive..Im really not a bad person...:)

But anyway, I am now on Lamictal and Seroquel. If anyone knows anything about Seroquel good or bad...let me know. Is there any blood tests involved in Seroquel? Just wondering. Overall my talk with her was good in the 30 mins that we had..I just hope that I can hold off on talking to my therapist until monday...( I havent called her since the beginning of January) so its all good! Thanks caring about me. I told my therapist that I had joined this online support group and she was really excited. This is great for me to be able to talk to people that know what im going through...it makes me feel like im not alone ...which is a good thing. Have a great night.
PANDABEAR

 

Re: Im about to really loose it. Pandabear

Posted by Fallen4myT on February 10, 2004, at 20:06:04

In reply to Re: Im about to really loose it. Crooked Heart, posted by Pandabear on February 10, 2004, at 19:53:34

I know some people who have had OK times with Seroqual and I dont wanna scare you from it BUT it has to be watched cause you can become a diabetic from it , it is an antipsychotoc given off label for anxiety and sleep can cause tics and can mess up the endocrine system. They also wayyyy down on the label say you should have a split light or something special glaucoma test 2 times a year...not the regular test. I took it for sleep and ended up getting off it. I did sleep on 50 mgs at bed but it made some odd stuff go on with my heart..no damamge so I went off. NOW PLEASE do not panic cause that was MY reaction to it but ASK the pharmacy for the INSERT they never give you cause it comes with the bottle and read up on it Good luck like I said some love the drug

 

Re: Im about to really loose it. Pandabear

Posted by Crooked Heart on February 11, 2004, at 12:36:35

In reply to Re: Im about to really loose it. Crooked Heart, posted by Pandabear on February 10, 2004, at 19:53:34

Your psychiatrist sounds really understanding and helpful. I'm sorry I don't know anything about the meds. But getting a good night's sleep is so important. For me it's the first step when I need to make my life better, and I mean that seriously. So I hope the seroquel works.

You be good to yourself. I hope you're finding time to do the things you like, if that's not intrusive advice?

I'm glad posting here helps. It's one thing that any of us can do any time as often as we like without worrying about being criticised :)

Thinking of you. Take care ((((Pandabear))))

 

Re: Im about to really loose it.

Posted by Pandabear on February 11, 2004, at 21:58:29

In reply to Re: Im about to really loose it. Pandabear, posted by Crooked Heart on February 11, 2004, at 12:36:35

so now..since my doc has me trying out Seroquel..does anyone know if it really causes cataracts? Im reading horrible things about this drug and Im scared to death of it...i dont want this to mess with my health..I dont even think i need the medicine but my doctor seems to think i do for sleeping and anxiety and obsessing...??? im so nervous about taking it..

 

Why do they do this to me?

Posted by Pandabear on February 12, 2004, at 18:16:41

In reply to Re: Im about to really loose it. Pandabear, posted by Crooked Heart on February 11, 2004, at 12:36:35

Ok, so I started out in therapy almost two years ago because I was obsessed with this guy and now I am over it thank goodness but now...I am so dependant on my therapist and obsessed with having to talk to her constantly. (I call about legitimate things) but, I have to talk to her at least twice a week. I met with my psychiatrist on Tuesday and she is now doing what she calls a "study" on me where she is going to see if I can make it without talking to my therapist until our next appt. which is this next monday. THIS IS EXTREMELY HARD FOR ME. I feel as though im being punished. She told me that I need not fear about what they think of me when I call. She said its what I think that they think that is the problem...and that that is what they are trying to figure out..why I am worrying so much. She said for me not to feel like I was a failure for calling if I do call. BUT OF COURSE I WILL..because she told me not to call and yet, I might call and if i call..im going to worry about the fact that I messed up and im going to wonder if they are disappointed in me!!!! (and of course Im doing wrong right now by obsessing over this) but I have to talk to someone. She doesnt want me calling for anything..not even if my medicine isnt working right...(unless of course im having a serious side effect) But I started taking Seroquel two nights ago and the only side effect im having is that Im dizzy and I think my reaction time is off I almost got in 4 wrecks today ..yet it did rain but that was really odd for me bc im not a bad driver....and Im a little goofy-er..but I dont know if that is something to be expected..the folks at work like me better though :) Anyway, I told my coworker that I feel like a fish in a fish bowl because everyone is watching me to see what im going to do next and my therapists are watching me to see if im going to call...and I dont know what to do. I really want to talk to my therapist because I have been depressed since last wednesday but I cant call her. It is going to build up until monday and then im going to explode at our session. I already have SO MUCH to talk to her about and now, Im going to be soooooo frustrated that I havent been able to talk to her and I just dont know what im going to do..ill probably be so worked up I wont be able to talk. I just feel as though Im going through the same thing now that I went through with the guy I was obsessed with. He put a limit on me calling him and that is what made me more obsessed. Now, Im feeling more obessed than ever but I dont want to upset them and yet I think they want to see me obessed so that they can fix me yet I dont know what to do..I want to be able to talk to my therapist whenever I feel that I need her and the office staff told me to call whenever I needed and that that was what they were there for. I just feel so stuck. I need to hear my therapist voice before Monday or else its going to be a long weekend. (do I sound weak or what). Im meeting with her Monday at five. I had to move all my appts with her to five because my boss doesnt support them anymore. Kind of stinks. PLUS another thing I dont like is that everytime I come into the office or talk to my therapist...my therapist then reports to my psychiatrist and so they always know whats going on. Except for my psychiatrist doesnt know what I talk about with Linda unless there is a medication problem...but I feel like Im being treated like im psychotic. I know My therapist would want me to call her Im just so hung up on what she thinks because I know she is reporting to my psychiatrist...I CANT WIN..:( Someone respond with words of encouragement or wisdom or something..Im realy not doing too well..I have been so depressed for over a week and Im about to flip out because no one knows how to help me...only my therapists do and I CANT TALK TO THEM...( My psychiatrist (who isnt one one of my favorites)is trying to make me less dependant on my therapist) Im really going to loose it...Help......<><

 

Re: Why do they do this to me? Pandabear

Posted by pegasus on February 12, 2004, at 18:38:59

In reply to Why do they do this to me?, posted by Pandabear on February 12, 2004, at 18:16:41

Panda, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I know what those obsessions are like, and it stinks that you've been set up like this. Maybe your pdoc calls it a "study", because she wants to see what happens if they try to limit you? But maybe you should tell them that this is not good for you and that you don't want to be part of any more studies.

If it's going to create a huge amount of suffering for you, I would hope your T would prefer that you just call and chat a couple of times during the week. Maybe you should show your T this post? I just really feel how much you're hurting, and I want to make it better. But I don't really think that's within my powers. Go ahead and post the heck out of babble, though, in the meantime if it makes you feel better. I'll try to keep an eye out and respond when I can.

(((panda)))

- p

 

Re: Why do they do this to me? pegasus

Posted by Pandabear on February 12, 2004, at 19:11:03

In reply to Re: Why do they do this to me? Pandabear, posted by pegasus on February 12, 2004, at 18:38:59

Thanks for your post. Even if I do go and tell them that I dont want to be a part of this "study" I cannot say anything until Monday..my psychiatrist is making it really difficult for me to face my therapist...I feel like they both think I am crazy now or something..I dont think my therapist thinks that...but thats what it makes me feel like. My psychiatrist was laughing and saying im such an "obsessor" I know I obsess but I dont think it is funny at all...its quite exhausting....

 

Re: Why do they do this to me? Pandabear

Posted by fallsfall on February 12, 2004, at 23:09:28

In reply to Re: Why do they do this to me? pegasus, posted by Pandabear on February 12, 2004, at 19:11:03

I certainly can relate to you! I was obsessed with a friend, and then started therapy. The friendship ended (painfully) and I became obsessed with my therapist (except we called it "dependent").

She wanted to make me less dependent by limiting my sessions. I had stopped calling her because I was afraid that she would think I was "dependent" and I knew that was "bad". I will say that I did develop some pretty good distress tolerance skills. So it was a long story, but I had to terminate with her and now I have a different therapist (she does CBT, he does Psychodynamic). I am dependent on him, too - but he handles it differently. I see him twice a week (which I thinks helps me), and I can call him (but if I call more than once in two weeks I think I'm calling too much). Sometimes he tries to get me to tolerate not getting what I need (right now that is approval), but when it gets intolerable for me he gives me enough of what I need so that I can function again.

So, yes, I know what you are going through and how hard it is. There are different ideas of what will help, and if you have a long talk with your therapist, and you don't like what she is proposing, tell her that and see if the two of you can come up with another idea.

Distress tolerance suggestions:

1. Write a letter to your therapist (or 2, or 3, or 15 if you want)
2. Call a friend and rant and rave for a limited time (15 minutes?).
3. Watch a movie (on TV or rented) - this works best if it is a good movie and you haven't seen it before.
4. Read Psychology books (the more technical, the better)
5. Take a nap.
6. Cuddle with your dog or cat.
7. Draw a picture with crayons (they smell really nice)
8. Go for a walk with a friend and don't talk about therapy at all
9. Go to work.
10. Become addicted to a computer game (my favorites are Snood and MahJong Solitaire)
11. Post a lot on Babble
12. If you live in a warm climate find a playground with the old fashioned swings with the really long chains and see how high you can go
13. Play with a child
14. Walk around a craft store and look at every object (book stores work for me, too)
15. Some people like to clean, but I hate it.
16. Read "The Woman's Comfort Book" and try some things it suggests
17. Clean MY oven??? Please?
18. Anything else that you think is fun. Try to keep busy.

Set up some kind of reward system - Put 3 M&Ms in a bowl for every hour you don't call - then eat them before you go to bed. Or let yourself play a computer game every 2 hours or 1 hour or 30 minutes or whatever if you don't call. Or ask a friend to call you twice a day to congratulate you for making it that far.

Good luck.

 

Re: Why do they do this to me? Pandabear

Posted by Crooked Heart on February 13, 2004, at 3:27:34

In reply to Re: Why do they do this to me? pegasus, posted by Pandabear on February 12, 2004, at 19:11:03

Pandabear, I'm so sorry that things are so bad. What pegasus and fallsfall said looks like good advice to me.

Your psychiatrist shouldn't have laughed. I thought from what you said earlier that she'd been helpful, but laughing was just trivialising what you're going through.

The drug sounds pretty strong from what Fallen said. If you don't feel you should be taking it, can you get another professional opinion? Sorry, I don't know how all that works where you are.

Remember everyone here is supporting you. Please keep posting over the weekend if it helps.

Thinking of you. ((((Pandabear))))

 

Re: Why do they do this to me?

Posted by gardenergirl on February 13, 2004, at 7:26:39

In reply to Re: Why do they do this to me? Pandabear, posted by Crooked Heart on February 13, 2004, at 3:27:34

Pandabear,
I hope today is a little better. It sounds like a really difficult situation. I really liked the list that fallsfall created. (I may steal it for my clients if that's okay ff!)

Can you try to have an inner dialog with your T? Think through what you want to say right now and what you think your T might say? This may help to try to "hear" your T's voice in your head to get you through in between. Do you have a business card or something else that reminds you of your T? Maybe you can focus on having that. You are still connected even if you are not able to talk to her.

Do you sing or like music? Maybe you can make up a silly little song about your T to help you when you feel like you are obsessing the most.

Good luck. I am thinking of you. I know this will seem like a really tough weekend.

Take care and keep posting!

gg


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