Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 310138

Shown: posts 11 to 35 of 35. Go back in thread:

 

Re: I spoke about this board today

Posted by alexandra_k on February 6, 2004, at 18:38:32

In reply to I spoke about this board today, posted by Dinah on February 6, 2004, at 11:04:42

I love to get a genuine emotional reaction too. Because then it is like yes, they are human too and it shows that they care, they care enough to be upset or mad or happy or whatever.

I have never thought to ask for this though. How can you just ask someone to be emotionally responsive??? Can you give or withhold it at will? Well, I guess you sort of can but I think that the best sort of emotional response to get is the one where they are kind of suprised into it unawares. Not all the time or it is no fun at all, but it is nice to see a bit of humanity from behind the professional veneer of aloof, objective reason. Just every now and then...

Can anyone think of a plausible reason where it may be appropriate for a T or p-doc to disrobe in front of a client???? I am trying really hard, but I can't think up anything even remotely plausible though would be somewhat reassured about those 4% if I could. otherwise there are a fair few more nutters out there then one would have supposed is all i can say about that.

 

Re: I spoke about this board today

Posted by Fallen4myT on February 6, 2004, at 18:46:10

In reply to Re: I spoke about this board today, posted by alexandra_k on February 6, 2004, at 18:38:32

Unless they were about to have consensual sex with the client I cannot think of a reason for a T to get naked in front of a client either....This makes me lmao. If my T just took his clothes off to show me SOMETHING like a mole or *something* I think I would laugh forever

 

Re: I spoke about this board today Fallen4myT

Posted by Dinah on February 6, 2004, at 18:58:32

In reply to Re: I spoke about this board today, posted by Fallen4myT on February 6, 2004, at 18:46:10

lol. me too. Although (ok, this is confession day) I did lift my shirt a bit one day with his permission to show him some self injury that I was rather worried about. Not high enough to show my bra or anything.

But I would hope he would never find the need to do anything similar.

This was a survey of psychologists. Do sex surrogates have a degree in psychology?

 

Re: I spoke about this board today DaisyM

Posted by Penny on February 6, 2004, at 19:02:19

In reply to Re: I spoke about this board today Dinah, posted by DaisyM on February 6, 2004, at 17:00:34

>I think most of us wonder if our Therapist's EVER think about us between sessions.

When I returned from Thanksgiving, my T actually said, "I was thinking about you, and your having to deal with your family, over the holiday." And I have no doubt she was.

How could they not think about us? I'm not a therapist, but I'll be darned if I can completely not think about my unimportant work when I'm not there. Our T's do important work - they would have to think about it in between sessions...

It's nice to know.

P

 

Re: I spoke about this board today DaisyM

Posted by Dinah on February 6, 2004, at 19:05:28

In reply to Re: I spoke about this board today Dinah, posted by DaisyM on February 6, 2004, at 17:00:34

> <<<<I have a friend who is a retired Therapist and she thinks the same thing. When I talk about fears of abandonment or being overly dependent, she always asks, "and how much time did that take away from the "real" issue?" I agree with you though. It is part of the issue, because if you can't establish trust how could you ever get to any "real" issues

In my case, my inability to trust *is* a central issue, in and out of therapy. It took me five years to get to even start obessing about losing him because it took me that long to trust him enough to start admitting any concern. Then it took me another three years to get past the fear of trusting, because he might abandon me. :) The rest of my life is the same. I'm afraid to do anything for fear of losing what I gain. How he can say that isn't therapeutic work! (shakes head wonderingly) I'm quite wrung out just thinking about it.

>
> I hope you know you are special - both to your Therapist and to us here. You Therapist must think so after all this time. Emotional engagement is not something I've thought about a lot because I just expect it. And then worry about it!
>
Your therapist seems very emotionally engaged. Mine doesn't. The pdoc from H*ll (standard disclaimer, I'm sure he isn't actually from H*ll) told me once that he was a bad therapist match for me because he stays too much in his head. Of course, said pdoc scared the living daylights out of me. I only get very very brief glimpses of emotional engagement. Other than anger, which isn't really what I'm aiming for.

 

Re: I spoke about this board today alexandra_k

Posted by Penny on February 6, 2004, at 19:05:48

In reply to Re: I spoke about this board today, posted by alexandra_k on February 6, 2004, at 18:38:32

>Can anyone think of a plausible reason where it may be appropriate for a T or p-doc to disrobe in front of a client???? I am trying really hard, but I can't think up anything even remotely plausible though would be somewhat reassured about those 4% if I could. otherwise there are a fair few more nutters out there then one would have supposed is all i can say about that.

Perhaps if something was on fire and there was nothing to smother the flames, then the T would take off his shirt? :-b

Sorry, I couldn't resist being a bit silly - the thought that 4% would say that is frightening to me!!! I hope I never meet one of them...

Or maybe they were referring in particular to sex surrogates, which, I guess, are a type of therapist...

But, anyway...I'll shut up now. :-(

P

 

Re: I spoke about this board today Penny

Posted by Fallen4myT on February 6, 2004, at 19:16:36

In reply to Re: I spoke about this board today DaisyM, posted by Penny on February 6, 2004, at 19:02:19

My T has told me he was thinking of me over dinner and stuff like that and thinking who do I go to for help cause I am so sweet and kind so they do think of us..and he has told me I made his blood pressure go up when and so on..


> >I think most of us wonder if our Therapist's EVER think about us between sessions.
>
> When I returned from Thanksgiving, my T actually said, "I was thinking about you, and your having to deal with your family, over the holiday." And I have no doubt she was.
>
> How could they not think about us? I'm not a therapist, but I'll be darned if I can completely not think about my unimportant work when I'm not there. Our T's do important work - they would have to think about it in between sessions...
>
> It's nice to know.
>
> P

 

Re: I spoke about this board today alexandra_k

Posted by Dinah on February 6, 2004, at 19:18:14

In reply to Re: I spoke about this board today, posted by alexandra_k on February 6, 2004, at 18:38:32

> I love to get a genuine emotional reaction too. Because then it is like yes, they are human too and it shows that they care, they care enough to be upset or mad or happy or whatever.
>
Exactly!! Though he gets angry often enough that it really isn't what I'm looking for.

> I have never thought to ask for this though. How can you just ask someone to be emotionally responsive??? Can you give or withhold it at will? Well, I guess you sort of can but I think that the best sort of emotional response to get is the one where they are kind of suprised into it unawares. Not all the time or it is no fun at all, but it is nice to see a bit of humanity from behind the professional veneer of aloof, objective reason. Just every now and then...
>
Yeah, I was thinking of the asking part myself after I posted. I mean, how can you *ask* for that? It's either there or it isn't. I do know that he thinks I'm too passive in therapy and may be encouraging me to be more active. So I thought of a way to be more active without asking for something that you really can't ask for (and that he said he may or may not say no to). It occurs to me that I may not appear emotionally engaged myself. And since my therapist doesn't appear to have a problem with emotional engagement in general, perhaps my manner is inhibiting him. So I'm going to ask him if I appropriately reveal my emotional engagement with *him*, and if not could he give me some feedback to help me express myself better.

All that being said, he's told me he cares about me a lot of times, including times I know he's flat out lying because he's a lousy liar. But the times I surprise a southern drawl out of him are the times that make my session.

Am I awful? It's just that I care a lot about him, and it would be nice if he at least had some fondness for me. Especially after nine years at between two times a week and two times a month. Although I suppose I spend more time than that with people at work, and I don't have a discernible amount of fondness for them.

Sigh. I guess it's too much to ask for. I pay for his time, not his caring.

 

Re: I spoke about this board today Dinah

Posted by Fallen4myT on February 6, 2004, at 19:22:09

In reply to Re: I spoke about this board today Fallen4myT, posted by Dinah on February 6, 2004, at 18:58:32

HAHAHA I think it must be a form of shock therapy :) It would bust me outta ANY anxiety attack or depression and I know I would lmao into tomorrow.....I cannot believe you lifted your shirt I admire a lot of people in here cause you all have guts..I will confess I have worn short short shirts and oops shown some...well flashed but did it like it was an accident. I can see some T just getting up and while talking taking his clothes off hahahaha too funny


> lol. me too. Although (ok, this is confession day) I did lift my shirt a bit one day with his permission to show him some self injury that I was rather worried about. Not high enough to show my bra or anything.
>
> But I would hope he would never find the need to do anything similar.
>
> This was a survey of psychologists. Do sex surrogates have a degree in psychology?

 

Re: I spoke about this board today

Posted by Fallen4myT on February 6, 2004, at 19:26:29

In reply to Re: I spoke about this board today alexandra_k, posted by Penny on February 6, 2004, at 19:05:48

LMFAO don't shut up youre making me lol and I needed that :)

> >Can anyone think of a plausible reason where it may be appropriate for a T or p-doc to disrobe in front of a client???? I am trying really hard, but I can't think up anything even remotely plausible though would be somewhat reassured about those 4% if I could. otherwise there are a fair few more nutters out there then one would have supposed is all i can say about that.
>
> Perhaps if something was on fire and there was nothing to smother the flames, then the T would take off his shirt? :-b
>
> Sorry, I couldn't resist being a bit silly - the thought that 4% would say that is frightening to me!!! I hope I never meet one of them...
>
> Or maybe they were referring in particular to sex surrogates, which, I guess, are a type of therapist...
>
> But, anyway...I'll shut up now. :-(
>
> P
>

 

Re: I spoke about this board today Fallen4myT

Posted by Dinah on February 6, 2004, at 19:28:37

In reply to Re: I spoke about this board today Dinah, posted by Fallen4myT on February 6, 2004, at 19:22:09

Well, there was no particular sexuality about that incident, and the sight of my stomach at the time would tend to decrease rather than increase libido. But I do think it was nice of him to let me show him what was scaring me, because I was scared that I was totally losing my mind. And on another occasion he touched a scab on my lower arm. It meant a lot to me that he wasn't too repulsed. Well, frankly he was repulsed, so it meant a lot of it that he was able to put his feelings aside.

 

Re: I *have* to stop obsessing Penny

Posted by Dinah on February 6, 2004, at 19:30:33

In reply to Re: I *have* to stop obsessing Dinah, posted by Penny on February 6, 2004, at 13:10:58

> > Where really I was taken aback by the implication that he actually felt sexual desire sometimes, never mind to whom.
>
> Yes, I can understand that, since your T is a eunuch, right?
>
Yes, thank you for reminding me of that. :) It was a bit in question today, but now I am regaining my confidence in that fact.

 

Re: I spoke about this board today

Posted by Dinah on February 6, 2004, at 19:32:58

In reply to Re: I spoke about this board today, posted by shortelise on February 6, 2004, at 13:07:28

> I feel reassured when I get an emotional response from my shrink as it feels like I pull him out of shrink mode when I do that.
>
> It used to feel awful. I wanted him to be completely strong and composed. When his eyes would redden with tears if I told him something particularly awful, it felt like he was weak, and I neeed strength in him. But in fact, it's part of empathy and doesn't mean weakness. When I have angered or frustrated him, it felt good because I was so upset myself. Hm. That doesn;t sound very nice of me, but do we have to be "nice" to our therapists?
>
> Shorte

I've always felt that the therapeutic relationship was wonderful because we can trust our therapists to take care of their own needs. :) Not that I'm "frustrating" on purpose, but I don't try to be someone I'm not, either.

 

Oops. Above for (nm) shortelise

Posted by Dinah on February 6, 2004, at 19:33:23

In reply to Re: I spoke about this board today, posted by shortelise on February 6, 2004, at 13:07:28

 

Re: I spoke about this board today Dinah

Posted by Fallen4myT on February 6, 2004, at 19:40:00

In reply to Re: I spoke about this board today Fallen4myT, posted by Dinah on February 6, 2004, at 19:28:37

Wow you are worse than me you knock yourself down hard. I bet he was NOT repulsed at all and he sounds sweet and caring to help rid of your fears my T would do the same but I am toooooo shy no matter HOW scared I was

 

Re: I spoke about this board today-Warning Trigger Fallen4myT

Posted by Dinah on February 6, 2004, at 19:47:08

In reply to Re: I spoke about this board today Dinah, posted by Fallen4myT on February 6, 2004, at 19:40:00

> Wow you are worse than me you knock yourself down hard. I bet he was NOT repulsed at all and he sounds sweet and caring to help rid of your fears my T would do the same but I am toooooo shy no matter HOW scared I was

Ummm, I'm not actually knocking myself. My stomach was still raw and seeping blood from criss crossed cuts from one end to the other. If he was turned on by that, he's way weirder than I think.

 

Re: I spoke about this board today-Warning Trigger Dinah

Posted by Fallen4myT on February 6, 2004, at 19:58:21

In reply to Re: I spoke about this board today-Warning Trigger Fallen4myT, posted by Dinah on February 6, 2004, at 19:47:08

I bet he felt sad for you and still not repulsed but sad I S/h too but my wrists mostly and yes I would have to show my T its part of our deal. I seldom S/h BUT when I do its serious.

 

Re: I spoke about this board today-Warning Trigger Dinah

Posted by Elle2021 on February 6, 2004, at 20:03:07

In reply to Re: I spoke about this board today-Warning Trigger Fallen4myT, posted by Dinah on February 6, 2004, at 19:47:08

Dinah,
I didn't know you cut. I'm not sure how I missed that. Am I mistaken??
Elle

 

Re: I spoke about this board today-Warning Trigger Fallen4myT

Posted by Dinah on February 6, 2004, at 20:03:50

In reply to Re: I spoke about this board today-Warning Trigger Dinah, posted by Fallen4myT on February 6, 2004, at 19:58:21

I haven't done it for ages because I rashly promised my therapist not to, and I try to keep my promises. If I feel like I need to, I'm supposed to call him instead. And since I don't want to bother him, especially outside hours, I really really fight it. I don't want him to be disappointed in me.

 

Re: I spoke about this board today-Warning Trigger Elle2021

Posted by Dinah on February 6, 2004, at 20:06:10

In reply to Re: I spoke about this board today-Warning Trigger Dinah, posted by Elle2021 on February 6, 2004, at 20:03:07

See my above post. :) I'm a mostly reformed cutter. That's one reason I don't go back on SSRI's. They were really disinhibiting for me as far as cutting was concerned.

 

Re: I spoke about this board today-Warning Trigger Dinah

Posted by Fallen4myT on February 6, 2004, at 20:08:59

In reply to Re: I spoke about this board today-Warning Trigger Fallen4myT, posted by Dinah on February 6, 2004, at 20:03:50

Wow you are a lot like me. I try and am currently REALLY struggling hard not to since last night so it wasn't this thread . I can call my T ANY time but hate to bug him (even though he would not FEEL bugged) so I fight it more. I never made a contract to call first but to tell him when I see him and I must show him etc.

 

Re: I spoke about this board today-Warning Trigger Dinah

Posted by Elle2021 on February 6, 2004, at 20:17:45

In reply to Re: I spoke about this board today-Warning Trigger Elle2021, posted by Dinah on February 6, 2004, at 20:06:10

Whew! I was worried for a sec there. I couldn't see how I could have missed such an important piece of info. :)
Elle

 

Re: I *have* to stop obsessing Dinah

Posted by terrics on February 9, 2004, at 15:03:52

In reply to Re: I *have* to stop obsessing, posted by Dinah on February 6, 2004, at 11:42:33

Sometimes I think therapy and therapists make things worse because of the obsession thing. A personal question; What do you mean by not being a women? I guess that is a pushy question. terrics

 

Re: I *have* to stop obsessing

Posted by terrics on February 9, 2004, at 15:21:47

In reply to Re: I *have* to stop obsessing, posted by Dinah on February 6, 2004, at 11:42:33

I hope my question didn't offend you. Your posts are very interesting.

I didn't know you wanted to leave. I hope you change your mind. terrics

 

Re: I *have* to stop obsessing terrics

Posted by Dinah on February 9, 2004, at 18:16:07

In reply to Re: I *have* to stop obsessing Dinah, posted by terrics on February 9, 2004, at 15:03:52

Just one of my quirks. I don't mind being a female, a girl, a lady, a person. But I absolutely refuse to be a woman. The word is overlaid with tons of meanings to me, things I refuse to be associated with.


This is the end of the thread.


Show another thread

URL of post in thread:


Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ


[dr. bob] Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD, bob@dr-bob.org

Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.