Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 251041

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Re: Why bother with therapy? fallsfall

Posted by stebby on August 26, 2003, at 20:02:37

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy? stebby, posted by fallsfall on August 25, 2003, at 21:42:54

What you describe is a lot like what happens to me after therapy. Somedays seesm to be better than others ie., it doesn't take as long to get over. Other times I can't function for a few days. My work forces me to function, but its difficult. Do you think you might have just grown more accustomed to therapy and thus don't have that klind of reaction, or do you think your therpapist does something different? I also wonder whther this is a typical reaction to therapy for most people. I remeber one time when I went to a friends house to pick my son up after a session and I could barely speak to my friend. I had to tell her I had to leave because I was too disctarcted to carry on any form of communication. Sometimes, I have to right back to teaching a class. That kind of forces me to snap out of it at least temporarily. Gosh, I don't want tos start that again when I return to therapy and teaching next week!

 

Re: Why bother with therapy? Bunnyz32

Posted by stebby on August 26, 2003, at 20:03:49

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy?, posted by Bunnyz32 on August 26, 2003, at 10:00:13

Did you ever try therapy? If so, what happened?

 

Re: Why bother with therapy?

Posted by Bunnyz32 on August 26, 2003, at 20:17:56

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy? Bunnyz32, posted by stebby on August 26, 2003, at 20:03:49

Yes, I did try therapy. A few times. Nothing happened that's the whole crux of the matter.
I find that concentrating on what I can do for others, in need or in trouble, helps me 100 times over.
I try SOME of the 12 step philosphy and read religious literature of all kinds.
Of course I am on medication which makes ALL the difference in the world, BUT the person to prescribe it to me was my general practioner, AKA family doctor. I like this much better.
Also, EACH individual is different, what works for me, may not work for you. Some folks swear by therapy. I just can't get "into it". Other folks say meds ruined their lives, meds have improved my life.

 

Re: Why bother with therapy? Bunnyz32

Posted by stebby on August 26, 2003, at 20:35:47

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy?, posted by Bunnyz32 on August 26, 2003, at 20:17:56

I have often thought that spending my time helping other people may be the best medicine. My life's work (teaching) involves this, but I'd like to get involved with people who are in desparate need. Its good to hear your opinion.

 

Re: Why bother with therapy? stebby

Posted by fallsfall on August 26, 2003, at 21:32:29

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy? fallsfall, posted by stebby on August 26, 2003, at 20:02:37

The decreased reaction after a therapy session is definately related to changing therapists. It was like night and day. Even when I have a really rough session with my new therapist, it doesn't affect me as long as it did with my old therapist.

I really don't know how other people feel after their therapy. It would be interesting to know. Anyone want to tell us how a therapy session affects you?

When I was healthy enough to work, I didn't have the same problem after each session. So I could go to work (30 minute drive in between) and be OK. But my job allowed me to pretty much hide in front of my computer if I didn't want to talk to people. I also don't want to do something immediately because I want to think about what we talked about.

Good luck next week!

 

Re: Why bother with therapy?

Posted by Adia on August 26, 2003, at 22:36:38

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy? stebby, posted by fallsfall on August 26, 2003, at 21:32:29

Hi, I've been reading for some time now and posted a message in the medication board..
I've been in therapy for 3 years now, my therapist is wonderful and i truly feel she has 'rescued' me in some way...i feel i wouldn't be here if it weren't for her...we talk a lot about my feelings for her, I do tell her how much i sometimes wish she could protect me or hold me as a mother would. (I have a history of sexual abuse and stuff) She's been wonderful about it all.
I have trouble opening up, though, and talking directly about things...putting things into words (I usually write) and crying in front of her and stuf like that...
I see her once a week.(but i e-mail her in b/sessions if i am finding it hard to cope or i call her)
After each session, I usually feel I want to be all by myself and I can't handle much...I don't want to be with my b/f or talk to him, I just want to go home and go to sleep..and think about what happened or maybe write about it if i feel the need or if i couldn't quite tell her what I wanted...
If during the session I am not able to share with her what is truly weighing on my heart, I feel awful..I get desperate, I find it really hard to face the days, knowing I'll have to wait one more week...Sometimes I even call her crying and she has to reassure me that we will see each other in a week's time...
I find it a bit hard in between sessions, the first days after seeing her I sometimes feel really scared.....but if i have been able to connect to her i feel relieved somehow and i feel i will be able to hang on till next time..
i guess right now i'm not doing very well, cause my goal is to get through the days till i can see her...just feeling overwhelmed..
sorry for sharing all of this.
I wanted to say it's been really helpful to read the discussions on the board...
Adia.

 

Re: Why bother with therapy?

Posted by Bunnyz32 on August 27, 2003, at 7:24:26

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy? Bunnyz32, posted by stebby on August 26, 2003, at 20:35:47

> I have often thought that spending my time helping other people may be the best medicine. My life's work (teaching) involves this, but I'd like to get involved with people who are in desparate need. Its good to hear your opinion.
===========================================
Wow, you sound VERY accomplished! What do you teach????

 

Re: Why bother with therapy? stebby

Posted by allisonf on August 27, 2003, at 9:13:48

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy? allisonf, posted by stebby on August 26, 2003, at 19:54:17

I'm curious too--what do you teach? I was laughing too when you wrote about the whole world reading what you are writing about your sex life. I feel that way exactly! I try to tell myself that I really am a very open person so it doesn't matter that I am posting some of my most intimate thoughts. It's true, you know. I really am a very open person... :-)

I didn't mean to be cryptic when I wrote the "something deeper" thing. It's just that a lot of times when I try to address transference issues with my therapist, she dismisses some of it as a product of my hypomania. Listening to your story and those of others here, I feel like it's not all about hypomania b/c many of you are unipolar or not diag with a mood disorder, right? So yesterday, I told her about what I've been posting...and I felt like she heard me. When I quizzed her about how a psychodynamic person would handle this, she answered, but then asked about my "real" question: if I thought psychoanalysis would be better for me. I think she was good at making me see that all of the theoretical approaches are really moving towards the same goal. And she asked to borrow my copy of "In Session", which made me feel really good, like she really wants to understand where I'm coming from. Oh, like I need more reasons to love her!

I think getting out of town is almost as good medicine as helping others less fortunate. Sorry that the jogging incident brought everything back! I think it is a marvelous idea to print out this post for your new therapist--please let me know how it goes. When is your next appt?

Good luck with the start of the school year!

 

Re: Why bother with therapy? Adia

Posted by fallsfall on August 27, 2003, at 9:14:04

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy?, posted by Adia on August 26, 2003, at 22:36:38

>>i guess right now i'm not doing very well, cause my goal is to get through the days till i can see her

I can certainly relate to that! Therapy has often seemed the only important focus of my week. She would encourage me to "get a life" so that therapy wouldn't be my life. But that was not something I could do. With my new therapist I don't feel that way as much. I don't know if that is because he sees me twice a week, or because our relationship is too new to have that kind of depth (?).

It sounds like you are trying to do what you can to make progress in your therapy. It is hard when you can't say what you need to say. I often would write things down and then read them, or have her read them if I couldn't speak the words.

I'm glad that you have some support from her between sessions.

I'm glad you posted, Adia. Let us know how it goes!

 

Re: Why bother with therapy? Adia

Posted by allisonf on August 27, 2003, at 9:27:50

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy?, posted by Adia on August 26, 2003, at 22:36:38

Welcome to the conversation Adia! fallsfall's post just made me think of this: have you thought about seeing your therp twice a week for awhile? I know that times when I've been feeling like I'm having a hard time making it to the next appt, I schedule double sessions that week. I know that might not be feasible time or $ wise, but it's just an idea. I think it's great that you can e-mail her between sessions! I would definitely be doing that if I had my therapist's e-mail address (I think its odd how all these therapists have different policies on out of session communication).

Also, something else you made me think of...I am always thinking, thinking, thinking of what I didn't say to my therapist, what I should have said, what I will say next week, how she will respond, etc. (racing thoughts, I think?) and it nearly drives me crazy. I know this isn't what you described happens to you, but I do understand that feeling of desperation that comes from not having said something you intended to say. My therapist said something to me once, that I always repeat to myself when this whole thing gets bad. She said, "everything you want to say in therapy will come out eventually." I know that's not anything all that profound, but somehow it gets me thru.

Glad you decided to start posting here.
Take care--A

 

Re: Why bother with therapy? allisonf

Posted by Dinah on August 27, 2003, at 12:10:21

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy? Adia, posted by allisonf on August 27, 2003, at 9:27:50

I deal with obsessing about what I didn't say by writing a letter to him with all my carefully thought out ideas and bringing it to the next session. Once it's down on paper, I magically cease to obsess. Sometimes I don't even bother bringing what I wrote.

 

Re: Why bother with therapy? Dinah

Posted by fallsfall on August 27, 2003, at 13:27:24

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy? allisonf, posted by Dinah on August 27, 2003, at 12:10:21

This also works with racing/obsessional thoughts that keep me from going to sleep. It's like you take them out of your head and stick them on the paper - and they stay there!

 

Re: Why bother with therapy? fallsfall

Posted by Dinah on August 27, 2003, at 15:52:53

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy? Dinah, posted by fallsfall on August 27, 2003, at 13:27:24

Sort of like flypaper for thoughts? I like the idea. :)

 

Re: Why bother with therapy? fallsfall

Posted by stebby on August 27, 2003, at 19:18:45

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy? stebby, posted by fallsfall on August 26, 2003, at 21:32:29

I like the "writing the racing thoughts down" trick that you have all been talking about. I think I'll try that next time. It is interesting that with your new therapist you don't struggle as much with the obsessional thoughts. Do you have any idea why this is?

 

Re: Why bother with therapy? Adia

Posted by stebby on August 27, 2003, at 19:49:52

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy?, posted by Adia on August 26, 2003, at 22:36:38

Adia, Glad you decided to post. It has been very helpful for me in the short time I have been posting here. Suddenly I am aware that there are these other people out there going through the same stuff. Its very comforting to know you are not alone even if it is only in cyberspace! In someways its much better than talking to a friend who you have to worry about judgement and telling others, etc. Anyway, it sounds like your having a rough time, but its good that you have esatblished such a solid relationship with your therapist, and she can help you get through life. I definitely know that desperate feeling you talk about that happens to you in between sessions....uughhh....thats the worst. Hope you are doing okay.

 

Re: Why bother with therapy? Bunnyz32

Posted by stebby on August 27, 2003, at 19:52:33

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy?, posted by Bunnyz32 on August 27, 2003, at 7:24:26

Since when is teaching an "accomplished" career? Thanks anyways. I teach biology. What do you do?

 

Re: Why bother with therapy? allisonf

Posted by stebby on August 27, 2003, at 20:17:22

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy? stebby, posted by allisonf on August 27, 2003, at 9:13:48

Your therapist sounds great. Its nice that she is taking the time to read "In Session" to try and understand you. I was going to ask my therapist whether or not she has read that book as well. It seems like she has read everything. We spend a lot of time talking about books. I enjoy that. It sounds like you had a good session with her and cleared the air about whether your attachment is really due to hypomania. Now that your session is over, are you obsessing about it?

Yes, my diagnosis is unipolar depression, so I guess I can see how you would question her dismissing your transference as part of hypomania. I can also imagine how being in a hypomanic state might intensify the feelings. That's all I would need is more energy, so I could obsess even more! No thanks! Maybe there is a positive to being bipolar though, I mean many of the greatest minds suffered from bipolar depression and their greatest work was accomplished during hypomanic episodes. Are you particularly creative? If you can write 20 pages in your journal about the perfume incident, just think of what you might be capable, while people like me sit like a lump on the couch staring at the wall!

I teach biology, but don't start until next week. I finally will meet with my therapist next Tuesday. It seems like I haven't seen her in ages. I've now moved away from thinking about how I should terminate to "i can't wait until next Tuesday." Its all so crazy. You may hear from me less when school gets going, and I don't have a spare minute. I hope I'll have some time to keep posting. Do you work outside of the home (I am almost afraid to ask that, because I hated that question when I was a stay-at-home mom.)?

 

Re: Why bother with therapy? Dinah

Posted by allisonf on August 28, 2003, at 1:24:22

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy? allisonf, posted by Dinah on August 27, 2003, at 12:10:21

Thought flypaper! I like that.

I do write an awful lot about therapy and about what I want to say, etc. & sometimes it helps, but other times I still have a hard time shutting it off after I write it down. Then I end up writing more, and as I get more hypomanic, the sentences become more disjointed, etc. But fallsfall mentioned writing the racing thoughts that are keeping you up at night. I'm going to try that one. My bedtime racing thoughts can be all over the place and are often accompanied by various musical selections--I'm not sure writing will work. But it beats lying in bed thinking!! Thanks for the ideas, you guys.

 

Re: Why bother with therapy? stebby

Posted by allisonf on August 28, 2003, at 1:55:07

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy? allisonf, posted by stebby on August 27, 2003, at 20:17:22

About my recent session, I'm really trying to not make much out of the "In Session" thing. I gave her the book to look at (we've been sharing books lately too) and then after leafing thru it, she asked to borrow it. So, I'm telling myself that it probably was not so much related to wanting to understand me as much as it was maybe a personal interest in the topic or to benefit other clients. Now I'm just afraid she might reference the book in our next session and I won't remember and I'll sound dumb...plse excuse my nagging social anxiety disorder! So I guess that answers your q about am I obsessing about the session! :) I'm trying to think of a session recently where I didn't obsess afterwards.

Thanks for asking about the creativity thing. I try to hold onto that in my worst moments and write my way through them. Since I was diagnosed 2 years ago, I've gone thru those blank books like nobody's business. Some of what I write when hypomanic is really freaky--it is the epitome of "flight of ideas"--and I like to think I am making a good record of the experience. But noone has read any of my journal so far--again with the social anxiety!

Biology--that's really cool. Good luck with your teaching (do you teach upper level or the bigger freshman classes?) and with your session on Tuesday. I'll be thinking of you. I understand about the posting. This is the first time I have been regularly posting, and I love this bd & the people, but the time factor is difficult (I tend to ck the bd compulsively now...that can't be a good thing). If you ever want to ck in w/o posting, plse feel free to e-mail: allisonfly7398@yahoo.com

I'm at home full-time with kids right now, but in my past life, I was a lawyer. I'm planning to go back to school to study counseling psychology at some point in the next yr or two. So I just started looking for a PT psych research position, but no luck yet...

 

Re: Why bother with therapy? stebby

Posted by fallsfall on August 28, 2003, at 6:49:55

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy? fallsfall, posted by stebby on August 27, 2003, at 19:18:45

I think I have fewer obsessional thoughts with my new therapist for a couple of reasons. First, he's still fairly new to me (ask me again in 6 months or a year!). Second, the transference took hold of the old relationship and kept building on itself - I was never without transference. With the new therapist, we have seen the transference a couple of times, but have been able to recognize it and then either he did something or I did something to put it in perspective. So while I see the transference, it doesn't live with me all the time. Does that make any sense?

Very interesting stuff.

 

Re: Why bother with therapy? allisonf

Posted by Dinah on August 28, 2003, at 7:11:39

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy? stebby, posted by allisonf on August 28, 2003, at 1:55:07

Obsessing about what happened in session used to be a bigger problem than it is now, and writing might not have helped them. Even now, I assess the situation and decide on the best response. He encourages me to call him if I'm angry with him between sessions and writing doesn't do it, because otherwise my obsessive mind can twist something minor into an epic drama.

When I get really really upset, my ability to write goes waaaaayyyyy down, as I can't seem to find my words.

I think after going to him for so long, we've hashed out most of the major transference issues. I now have a reasonable comfort with the idea that he's not going to abandon me. And while it's occasionally shaken, it doesn't take as long to go back to normal. And I feel much more free to tell him what I'm thinking without censoring it, so things get cleared up easier.

For example, the other day I told him he should work on his communication style. He always comes out with the bad part first and then tries to ease it with positive statements. Like once, his group center was closing, and if I hadn't stopped him and asked him to tell me if I was still going to be able to see him when he said he had bad news for me, he would have opened with that, and then eventually made his way to telling me I could still see him in whatever arrangements he made to continue practice. Well, by that time my amygdala would have flooded, and he'd have lost me. No matter what he said later, that adrenaline and cortisol would have been released, and calming myself would have taken longer than 50 minutes.

A similar thing happened the other day, and he was angry with me for not listening to the rest of what he was saying (frustrated, he always says frustrated instead of angry). But the next session I had thought it through and remarked on what I thought the problem was. He agreed to try to be more sensitive to how he phrased things, but admitted he'd probably sometimes forget.

So things blow over more quickly now because I feel safe and comfortable in the relationship. I sometimes think he thinks I feel too safe and comfortable, so he likes to stir me out of my rut from time to time. :)

Be glad she's reading the book. You should be able to discuss your feelings with her more openly if the context is there that it's not unusual to feel that way. It should reduce the potential embarassment on the part of either of you.

 

Re: Why bother with therapy?

Posted by Bunnyz32 on August 28, 2003, at 10:38:41

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy? Bunnyz32, posted by stebby on August 27, 2003, at 19:52:33

Biology, neat!=0) Yes, teaching IS an accomplished career. If you teach highschoolers or junior high I will venture to say you are brave as well.
For now I am staying at home and raising my children. I am also going to dog grooming school.
I tried myself out in the medical field but found that was NOT my nitch in life.
I have a new appreciation for nurses etc, that's for darn sure.

 

Re: Why bother with therapy? allisonf

Posted by stebby on August 28, 2003, at 17:56:45

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy? stebby, posted by allisonf on August 28, 2003, at 1:55:07

I wouldn't say that your T is only looking at the book because of her own personal interest or for other clients. Its ok to think that she might actually be looking at it to help her understand you! Anyway, I'll be interested to see whether or not my T has read it. It sounds like all of us here obsess after our sessions. I'm glad to know its not just me. I suppose if we didn't spend a lot of time thinking about what happens in each session, it wouldn't be at all productive. Sometimes I wish I could just turn those thoughts off. Iwouldn't worry about your T discussing some passage in the book that you forgot about. Even if that happened, just ask her to remind you.

Its pretty neat that you are interested in counseling psychology...what an interesting field, and I think someone who has been there like yourself could really help others. Good luck in finding the research position. Did you decide that being a lawyer is not for you? That must have been a tough decision after so much schooling.

Thank you so much for the email address. I wrote it down and will definitley use it once school begins and I have less time to goof around here. I'll also feel more comfortable using it when discussing sex with my husband:-) and details which might actually disclose my identity (as if anyone would really care, but I do!)

Are you still obsessing today? How long does it take you to stop between appointments, or maybe you never do!?

 

Re: Why bother with therapy? fallsfall

Posted by stebby on August 28, 2003, at 18:02:23

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy? stebby, posted by fallsfall on August 28, 2003, at 6:49:55

Yes, it absolutely makes sense. It sounds like you have dealt with it before it becomes too big of a deal. I'm hoping taht that will be the case as I explore this more with my T. Its funny I feel so much calmer about all of this transference stuff this week. Last week I was ready to throw in the towel and suffer the termination to get out of this. I'm sure I'll be there again soon...it seems to be a cycle.

 

Re: Why bother with therapy? Bunnyz32

Posted by stebby on August 28, 2003, at 18:12:01

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy?, posted by Bunnyz32 on August 28, 2003, at 10:38:41

How old are your kids? I really am finding this striking how it seems that most of the people who frequent this board are depressed, educated, mothers (this is a generalization-I hope I didn't leave anyone out). What does this say?


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