Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 251041

Shown: posts 50 to 74 of 150. Go back in thread:

 

Re: Why bother with therapy? stebby

Posted by fallsfall on August 25, 2003, at 21:42:54

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy? fallsfall, posted by stebby on August 25, 2003, at 19:44:42

With my first therapist, I would see her on Tuesday at 11. I would spend the next 6 hours trying to process what we had said. I couldn't do anything. I couldn't talk to anyone (I couldn't form sentances). Tuesday evening I could start to talk to friends. I didn't feel like I could do anything significant (grocery shop, clean, pay bills etc.) until Thursday evening. That was when my brain would start to function.

I see a different therapist now, and I don't have that same problem. I can talk to people within an hour or two of my session (I still like to get some ice cream by myself first).

I think that what was happening with me and my first therapist was that seeing her was kicking up such transference agony that I couldn't think. It took a long time to settle down from that. My new therapist (even when he does kick up the transference) doesn't affect me as much. My life is definately easier/better than it was with my first therapist.

I don't know how therapy impacts other people, so I don't know if I'm typical or not. What you are describing sounds more like what I had before. I'm really hoping that I don't end up there again.

You might want to describe in detail for your therapist what happens during those two or three days and see what he says.

I'd be interested to know.

 

Re: Why bother with therapy? stebby

Posted by allisonf on August 25, 2003, at 22:21:46

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy? allisonf, posted by stebby on August 25, 2003, at 19:55:56

Ok, I just do not accept that you are any wackier than me! Please don't think that I haven't fantasized about my therapist when I am sexually involved...just not as much with my husband as when I am not with him. And there is a fair amount of that kind of fantasizing going on. Whew. I cannot believe I just said that.

I think you are right to decline the lithium & bipolar diagnosis. My therapist is quick to dismiss the intensity of my feelings as hypomanic. But hearing what you are going thru makes me realize that there is something much deeper going on in my own case. I am confronting her about it tomorrow, I swear!

 

Just kidding about the wacky thing! :-) (nm) stebby

Posted by allisonf on August 25, 2003, at 22:58:22

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy? allisonf, posted by stebby on August 25, 2003, at 19:55:56

 

Re: Why bother with therapy?

Posted by Bunnyz32 on August 26, 2003, at 10:00:13

In reply to Why bother with therapy?, posted by stebby on August 15, 2003, at 11:00:07

I certainly don't bother, and I am better for it. I simply take my meds(prozac and buspar) and go on with life.
I accept the fact, that life can be a pain in the ass, at times, and our job is to make life a bit more bearable for others and ourself.

 

Re: Why bother with therapy? allisonf

Posted by stebby on August 26, 2003, at 19:54:17

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy? stebby, posted by allisonf on August 25, 2003, at 22:21:46

What do you mean, "hearing what you are going thru makes me realize that there is something much deeper
going on in my own case. I am confronting her about it tomorrow, I swear!" You can't just say something like that and not explain it! You made me laugh out loud when you said "whew, I cannot believe I just said that" I felt the same way after writing about the fantasizing during sex thing, especially after I realized that THE WHOLE WORLD can read what I'm writing. Thank God no one knows who I am. I can't imagine one of my students getting ahold of this stuff. I'd never live it down! I'd have to leave town.

I have just returned home after a week away at my in-laws. Returning to town has really brought on the transference stuff again. I went jogging and saw my old therapist drive by...can't stop thinking about it, and when I'm not thinking about her, I'm thinking about my new therapist...helpp!!!!!!!!! How was your appointment today?

I think I am going to print out this entire post and bring it to my therapy session next week. I tend to filter everything down when I talk to my therapist...this might actually be more productive. What do you think?

 

Re: Why bother with therapy? fallsfall

Posted by stebby on August 26, 2003, at 20:02:37

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy? stebby, posted by fallsfall on August 25, 2003, at 21:42:54

What you describe is a lot like what happens to me after therapy. Somedays seesm to be better than others ie., it doesn't take as long to get over. Other times I can't function for a few days. My work forces me to function, but its difficult. Do you think you might have just grown more accustomed to therapy and thus don't have that klind of reaction, or do you think your therpapist does something different? I also wonder whther this is a typical reaction to therapy for most people. I remeber one time when I went to a friends house to pick my son up after a session and I could barely speak to my friend. I had to tell her I had to leave because I was too disctarcted to carry on any form of communication. Sometimes, I have to right back to teaching a class. That kind of forces me to snap out of it at least temporarily. Gosh, I don't want tos start that again when I return to therapy and teaching next week!

 

Re: Why bother with therapy? Bunnyz32

Posted by stebby on August 26, 2003, at 20:03:49

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy?, posted by Bunnyz32 on August 26, 2003, at 10:00:13

Did you ever try therapy? If so, what happened?

 

Re: Why bother with therapy?

Posted by Bunnyz32 on August 26, 2003, at 20:17:56

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy? Bunnyz32, posted by stebby on August 26, 2003, at 20:03:49

Yes, I did try therapy. A few times. Nothing happened that's the whole crux of the matter.
I find that concentrating on what I can do for others, in need or in trouble, helps me 100 times over.
I try SOME of the 12 step philosphy and read religious literature of all kinds.
Of course I am on medication which makes ALL the difference in the world, BUT the person to prescribe it to me was my general practioner, AKA family doctor. I like this much better.
Also, EACH individual is different, what works for me, may not work for you. Some folks swear by therapy. I just can't get "into it". Other folks say meds ruined their lives, meds have improved my life.

 

Re: Why bother with therapy? Bunnyz32

Posted by stebby on August 26, 2003, at 20:35:47

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy?, posted by Bunnyz32 on August 26, 2003, at 20:17:56

I have often thought that spending my time helping other people may be the best medicine. My life's work (teaching) involves this, but I'd like to get involved with people who are in desparate need. Its good to hear your opinion.

 

Re: Why bother with therapy? stebby

Posted by fallsfall on August 26, 2003, at 21:32:29

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy? fallsfall, posted by stebby on August 26, 2003, at 20:02:37

The decreased reaction after a therapy session is definately related to changing therapists. It was like night and day. Even when I have a really rough session with my new therapist, it doesn't affect me as long as it did with my old therapist.

I really don't know how other people feel after their therapy. It would be interesting to know. Anyone want to tell us how a therapy session affects you?

When I was healthy enough to work, I didn't have the same problem after each session. So I could go to work (30 minute drive in between) and be OK. But my job allowed me to pretty much hide in front of my computer if I didn't want to talk to people. I also don't want to do something immediately because I want to think about what we talked about.

Good luck next week!

 

Re: Why bother with therapy?

Posted by Adia on August 26, 2003, at 22:36:38

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy? stebby, posted by fallsfall on August 26, 2003, at 21:32:29

Hi, I've been reading for some time now and posted a message in the medication board..
I've been in therapy for 3 years now, my therapist is wonderful and i truly feel she has 'rescued' me in some way...i feel i wouldn't be here if it weren't for her...we talk a lot about my feelings for her, I do tell her how much i sometimes wish she could protect me or hold me as a mother would. (I have a history of sexual abuse and stuff) She's been wonderful about it all.
I have trouble opening up, though, and talking directly about things...putting things into words (I usually write) and crying in front of her and stuf like that...
I see her once a week.(but i e-mail her in b/sessions if i am finding it hard to cope or i call her)
After each session, I usually feel I want to be all by myself and I can't handle much...I don't want to be with my b/f or talk to him, I just want to go home and go to sleep..and think about what happened or maybe write about it if i feel the need or if i couldn't quite tell her what I wanted...
If during the session I am not able to share with her what is truly weighing on my heart, I feel awful..I get desperate, I find it really hard to face the days, knowing I'll have to wait one more week...Sometimes I even call her crying and she has to reassure me that we will see each other in a week's time...
I find it a bit hard in between sessions, the first days after seeing her I sometimes feel really scared.....but if i have been able to connect to her i feel relieved somehow and i feel i will be able to hang on till next time..
i guess right now i'm not doing very well, cause my goal is to get through the days till i can see her...just feeling overwhelmed..
sorry for sharing all of this.
I wanted to say it's been really helpful to read the discussions on the board...
Adia.

 

Re: Why bother with therapy?

Posted by Bunnyz32 on August 27, 2003, at 7:24:26

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy? Bunnyz32, posted by stebby on August 26, 2003, at 20:35:47

> I have often thought that spending my time helping other people may be the best medicine. My life's work (teaching) involves this, but I'd like to get involved with people who are in desparate need. Its good to hear your opinion.
===========================================
Wow, you sound VERY accomplished! What do you teach????

 

Re: Why bother with therapy? stebby

Posted by allisonf on August 27, 2003, at 9:13:48

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy? allisonf, posted by stebby on August 26, 2003, at 19:54:17

I'm curious too--what do you teach? I was laughing too when you wrote about the whole world reading what you are writing about your sex life. I feel that way exactly! I try to tell myself that I really am a very open person so it doesn't matter that I am posting some of my most intimate thoughts. It's true, you know. I really am a very open person... :-)

I didn't mean to be cryptic when I wrote the "something deeper" thing. It's just that a lot of times when I try to address transference issues with my therapist, she dismisses some of it as a product of my hypomania. Listening to your story and those of others here, I feel like it's not all about hypomania b/c many of you are unipolar or not diag with a mood disorder, right? So yesterday, I told her about what I've been posting...and I felt like she heard me. When I quizzed her about how a psychodynamic person would handle this, she answered, but then asked about my "real" question: if I thought psychoanalysis would be better for me. I think she was good at making me see that all of the theoretical approaches are really moving towards the same goal. And she asked to borrow my copy of "In Session", which made me feel really good, like she really wants to understand where I'm coming from. Oh, like I need more reasons to love her!

I think getting out of town is almost as good medicine as helping others less fortunate. Sorry that the jogging incident brought everything back! I think it is a marvelous idea to print out this post for your new therapist--please let me know how it goes. When is your next appt?

Good luck with the start of the school year!

 

Re: Why bother with therapy? Adia

Posted by fallsfall on August 27, 2003, at 9:14:04

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy?, posted by Adia on August 26, 2003, at 22:36:38

>>i guess right now i'm not doing very well, cause my goal is to get through the days till i can see her

I can certainly relate to that! Therapy has often seemed the only important focus of my week. She would encourage me to "get a life" so that therapy wouldn't be my life. But that was not something I could do. With my new therapist I don't feel that way as much. I don't know if that is because he sees me twice a week, or because our relationship is too new to have that kind of depth (?).

It sounds like you are trying to do what you can to make progress in your therapy. It is hard when you can't say what you need to say. I often would write things down and then read them, or have her read them if I couldn't speak the words.

I'm glad that you have some support from her between sessions.

I'm glad you posted, Adia. Let us know how it goes!

 

Re: Why bother with therapy? Adia

Posted by allisonf on August 27, 2003, at 9:27:50

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy?, posted by Adia on August 26, 2003, at 22:36:38

Welcome to the conversation Adia! fallsfall's post just made me think of this: have you thought about seeing your therp twice a week for awhile? I know that times when I've been feeling like I'm having a hard time making it to the next appt, I schedule double sessions that week. I know that might not be feasible time or $ wise, but it's just an idea. I think it's great that you can e-mail her between sessions! I would definitely be doing that if I had my therapist's e-mail address (I think its odd how all these therapists have different policies on out of session communication).

Also, something else you made me think of...I am always thinking, thinking, thinking of what I didn't say to my therapist, what I should have said, what I will say next week, how she will respond, etc. (racing thoughts, I think?) and it nearly drives me crazy. I know this isn't what you described happens to you, but I do understand that feeling of desperation that comes from not having said something you intended to say. My therapist said something to me once, that I always repeat to myself when this whole thing gets bad. She said, "everything you want to say in therapy will come out eventually." I know that's not anything all that profound, but somehow it gets me thru.

Glad you decided to start posting here.
Take care--A

 

Re: Why bother with therapy? allisonf

Posted by Dinah on August 27, 2003, at 12:10:21

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy? Adia, posted by allisonf on August 27, 2003, at 9:27:50

I deal with obsessing about what I didn't say by writing a letter to him with all my carefully thought out ideas and bringing it to the next session. Once it's down on paper, I magically cease to obsess. Sometimes I don't even bother bringing what I wrote.

 

Re: Why bother with therapy? Dinah

Posted by fallsfall on August 27, 2003, at 13:27:24

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy? allisonf, posted by Dinah on August 27, 2003, at 12:10:21

This also works with racing/obsessional thoughts that keep me from going to sleep. It's like you take them out of your head and stick them on the paper - and they stay there!

 

Re: Why bother with therapy? fallsfall

Posted by Dinah on August 27, 2003, at 15:52:53

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy? Dinah, posted by fallsfall on August 27, 2003, at 13:27:24

Sort of like flypaper for thoughts? I like the idea. :)

 

Re: Why bother with therapy? fallsfall

Posted by stebby on August 27, 2003, at 19:18:45

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy? stebby, posted by fallsfall on August 26, 2003, at 21:32:29

I like the "writing the racing thoughts down" trick that you have all been talking about. I think I'll try that next time. It is interesting that with your new therapist you don't struggle as much with the obsessional thoughts. Do you have any idea why this is?

 

Re: Why bother with therapy? Adia

Posted by stebby on August 27, 2003, at 19:49:52

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy?, posted by Adia on August 26, 2003, at 22:36:38

Adia, Glad you decided to post. It has been very helpful for me in the short time I have been posting here. Suddenly I am aware that there are these other people out there going through the same stuff. Its very comforting to know you are not alone even if it is only in cyberspace! In someways its much better than talking to a friend who you have to worry about judgement and telling others, etc. Anyway, it sounds like your having a rough time, but its good that you have esatblished such a solid relationship with your therapist, and she can help you get through life. I definitely know that desperate feeling you talk about that happens to you in between sessions....uughhh....thats the worst. Hope you are doing okay.

 

Re: Why bother with therapy? Bunnyz32

Posted by stebby on August 27, 2003, at 19:52:33

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy?, posted by Bunnyz32 on August 27, 2003, at 7:24:26

Since when is teaching an "accomplished" career? Thanks anyways. I teach biology. What do you do?

 

Re: Why bother with therapy? allisonf

Posted by stebby on August 27, 2003, at 20:17:22

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy? stebby, posted by allisonf on August 27, 2003, at 9:13:48

Your therapist sounds great. Its nice that she is taking the time to read "In Session" to try and understand you. I was going to ask my therapist whether or not she has read that book as well. It seems like she has read everything. We spend a lot of time talking about books. I enjoy that. It sounds like you had a good session with her and cleared the air about whether your attachment is really due to hypomania. Now that your session is over, are you obsessing about it?

Yes, my diagnosis is unipolar depression, so I guess I can see how you would question her dismissing your transference as part of hypomania. I can also imagine how being in a hypomanic state might intensify the feelings. That's all I would need is more energy, so I could obsess even more! No thanks! Maybe there is a positive to being bipolar though, I mean many of the greatest minds suffered from bipolar depression and their greatest work was accomplished during hypomanic episodes. Are you particularly creative? If you can write 20 pages in your journal about the perfume incident, just think of what you might be capable, while people like me sit like a lump on the couch staring at the wall!

I teach biology, but don't start until next week. I finally will meet with my therapist next Tuesday. It seems like I haven't seen her in ages. I've now moved away from thinking about how I should terminate to "i can't wait until next Tuesday." Its all so crazy. You may hear from me less when school gets going, and I don't have a spare minute. I hope I'll have some time to keep posting. Do you work outside of the home (I am almost afraid to ask that, because I hated that question when I was a stay-at-home mom.)?

 

Re: Why bother with therapy? Dinah

Posted by allisonf on August 28, 2003, at 1:24:22

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy? allisonf, posted by Dinah on August 27, 2003, at 12:10:21

Thought flypaper! I like that.

I do write an awful lot about therapy and about what I want to say, etc. & sometimes it helps, but other times I still have a hard time shutting it off after I write it down. Then I end up writing more, and as I get more hypomanic, the sentences become more disjointed, etc. But fallsfall mentioned writing the racing thoughts that are keeping you up at night. I'm going to try that one. My bedtime racing thoughts can be all over the place and are often accompanied by various musical selections--I'm not sure writing will work. But it beats lying in bed thinking!! Thanks for the ideas, you guys.

 

Re: Why bother with therapy? stebby

Posted by allisonf on August 28, 2003, at 1:55:07

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy? allisonf, posted by stebby on August 27, 2003, at 20:17:22

About my recent session, I'm really trying to not make much out of the "In Session" thing. I gave her the book to look at (we've been sharing books lately too) and then after leafing thru it, she asked to borrow it. So, I'm telling myself that it probably was not so much related to wanting to understand me as much as it was maybe a personal interest in the topic or to benefit other clients. Now I'm just afraid she might reference the book in our next session and I won't remember and I'll sound dumb...plse excuse my nagging social anxiety disorder! So I guess that answers your q about am I obsessing about the session! :) I'm trying to think of a session recently where I didn't obsess afterwards.

Thanks for asking about the creativity thing. I try to hold onto that in my worst moments and write my way through them. Since I was diagnosed 2 years ago, I've gone thru those blank books like nobody's business. Some of what I write when hypomanic is really freaky--it is the epitome of "flight of ideas"--and I like to think I am making a good record of the experience. But noone has read any of my journal so far--again with the social anxiety!

Biology--that's really cool. Good luck with your teaching (do you teach upper level or the bigger freshman classes?) and with your session on Tuesday. I'll be thinking of you. I understand about the posting. This is the first time I have been regularly posting, and I love this bd & the people, but the time factor is difficult (I tend to ck the bd compulsively now...that can't be a good thing). If you ever want to ck in w/o posting, plse feel free to e-mail: allisonfly7398@yahoo.com

I'm at home full-time with kids right now, but in my past life, I was a lawyer. I'm planning to go back to school to study counseling psychology at some point in the next yr or two. So I just started looking for a PT psych research position, but no luck yet...

 

Re: Why bother with therapy? stebby

Posted by fallsfall on August 28, 2003, at 6:49:55

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy? fallsfall, posted by stebby on August 27, 2003, at 19:18:45

I think I have fewer obsessional thoughts with my new therapist for a couple of reasons. First, he's still fairly new to me (ask me again in 6 months or a year!). Second, the transference took hold of the old relationship and kept building on itself - I was never without transference. With the new therapist, we have seen the transference a couple of times, but have been able to recognize it and then either he did something or I did something to put it in perspective. So while I see the transference, it doesn't live with me all the time. Does that make any sense?

Very interesting stuff.


Go forward in thread:


Show another thread

URL of post in thread:


Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ


[dr. bob] Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD, bob@dr-bob.org

Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.