Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 40

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Losing weight

Posted by janejj on May 20, 2002, at 19:10:12

Hello,

Hope everyone is well and that the Canadians among us had a good holiday !

I wonder if anyone could help me. I'm looking to lose some weight, about 5-10 lbs, permanently. At present I weigh about 131 lbs and I'm 5'7, but my stomach and thigh area always seem to wobble around and I get paranoid and upset about it. I'm trying to tone up though. Has anyone tried a diet that really works and keeps the pounds off ???

Thanks
Jane

 

Re: Losing weight janejj

Posted by Sarahmarie on May 20, 2002, at 21:30:36

In reply to Losing weight, posted by janejj on May 20, 2002, at 19:10:12

> Hello,
>
> Hope everyone is well and that the Canadians among us had a good holiday !
>
> I wonder if anyone could help me. I'm looking to lose some weight, about 5-10 lbs, permanently. At present I weigh about 131 lbs and I'm 5'7, but my stomach and thigh area always seem to wobble around and I get paranoid and upset about it. I'm trying to tone up though. Has anyone tried a diet that really works and keeps the pounds off ???
>
> Thanks
> Jane

I have tried a variety of programs, high protein, no carbs, low carbs, no fat, etc. I am finally convinced that it isn't the diet that matters it is the amount of calories you burn. I am now on a building health body challenge. I drink 96 oz. water daily and "graze", eat my meals in small portions throughout the day. I am also doing a strengthening exercise routine for women. I lost 3 lbs in one week and the best part is my energy is really great. Good Luck..

 

Re: Losing weight janejj

Posted by sid on May 20, 2002, at 22:30:54

In reply to Losing weight, posted by janejj on May 20, 2002, at 19:10:12

Ah, Jane,
there's nothing like someone thin telling you she wants to lose weight to make a fat person (me, to be specific) feel bad about her body. 131 lbs, 5'7" - give me a break.

I am receptive to the fact that it may be important to you, but given I'm about 60 lbs overweight and that it isn't my most important problem right now (i.e., not my priority), well, I do feel worse about my body than before I read your post. Continue to post anyway, I'm not asking you to censor yourself; I'm just expressing what it did to me to read it. I am fat and ugly. And I'm getting orthodontic braces next week too. lololol ! It's true. I have to laugh at it all otherwise I'll cry.

Good luck with your quest for the prefect body.

- sid

 

Re: Losing weight

Posted by janejj on May 20, 2002, at 22:35:31

In reply to Re: Losing weight janejj, posted by sid on May 20, 2002, at 22:30:54

Sid,

I'm sorry I didn't mean to offend or hurt anybody, now I wish that Dr Bob would erase the post, I feel sad.

Getting braces is cool! I've had them as well, even had a head brace !I hope that you are pleased with results, thats the best bit !

Again I'm sorry, please forgive me,

Janejj

 

Re: Losing weight janejj

Posted by IsoM on May 21, 2002, at 1:27:30

In reply to Losing weight, posted by janejj on May 20, 2002, at 19:10:12

Rather than diets, why not just eat good sensible food, lots of veggies & fruits, & unrefined foods - or at least, as much as you reasonably can?

You don't sound overweight at all (unless you have VERY fine bone structure) - you probably just need toning up by more activity or exercise. Walking's great! The results are slow but long lasting & it makes you feel good.

 

Re: personal appearances... sid

Posted by IsoM on May 21, 2002, at 1:34:55

In reply to Re: Losing weight janejj, posted by sid on May 20, 2002, at 22:30:54

Go on, sid. In my mind, you're beautiful & I don't mean physically. I love to know a person before I get to see them. It colours my perception of them if I get to know their personality first. I'm not unattractive or overweight. People mistake me for being much younger than I am, but you know what? I'm not flattered by it. It means nothing to what kind of person you are by your outside package. I think that's why many people, whatever their appearance, race, or age, are comfortable around me. I value them for what's inside. And I *very* much value you for your ideas, intelligence, thoughtfulness, & personality.

Even the most beautiful fade with age & all end up the same. Anyone who depends on looks never learns to develop their inner qualities. You could have three eyes, have purple & green plaid skin, & feathers instead of hair & I'd still think you're wonderful!

 

me too, sid.

Posted by BeARdEdLaDY on May 21, 2002, at 7:19:11

In reply to Re: personal appearances... sid, posted by IsoM on May 21, 2002, at 1:34:55

My sister-in-law to-be is 5'9" and has the most perfect body in the universe. I don't know what she weighs, but I'm certain it's under 120. She is all muscle--lean--and tan, too, to make matters worse. There's nothing about her that doesn't make me feel dumpy and frumpy in comparison.

I'd be lying if I didn't say that appearances don't matter. I got so tired of standing next to this woman that I joined Weight Watchers and vowed to "get even." (That's not why I joined, actually, but it's a motivating factor.) I have lost 12 pounds in 10 weeks, and it's very hard to do on Serzone and other ADs, which seem to slow our metabolism.

Anyway, about this perfect gal: she's ALWAYS talking about how much weight she's gained since she quit smoking. I can't imagine what she would have looked like before. She mentions that her brother calls her fat butt. (Where? What butt?) And I think it's pretty insensitive to say it around me, when I'm 5'4" and 150 pounds!

But I overheard her once when I was in the other room. My sister said, "I like her outfit," and my sis-in-law said, "Me too. But she always looks beautiful."

What a shocker that was.

So this is all to say that I feel bad for janejj--not because she has a wobbly stomach but because of what she must be feeling inside that the wobbly stomach matters so much. (I think she said she's "paranoid" about it.) But when she was asking for help with it, I don't think she meant to make the rest of us jealous, just like my sis-in-law doesn't mean to make me feel like a beast. Maybe some people look for praise because they don't feel confident, or maybe they don't see themselves the way we see them.

I think comparing ourselves to others is one of our most unhealthy habits. It makes us feel worse than most other things, yet we do it all the time. Sid, I have a picture of you as a beautiful person because, truly, that's what you are! Skin is not a person. (And extra skin is not an extra person!) And I see janejj as beautiful too.

We just happen to live in a really effed up universe (it's not just the Western world!) that has objectified women since the beginning of mankind, and now we can't help but do it to ourselves, too.

Well, that's my tirade for the moment.

Janejj and Sid and the rest of us goils, I hope we find what we're looking for. I hope we figure out what it is.

beardy : )>

 

Re: Losing weight sid

Posted by Sarahmarie on May 21, 2002, at 7:26:58

In reply to Re: Losing weight janejj, posted by sid on May 20, 2002, at 22:30:54

> Ah, Jane,
> there's nothing like someone thin telling you she wants to lose weight to make a fat person (me, to be specific) feel bad about her body. 131 lbs, 5'7" - give me a break.
>
> I am receptive to the fact that it may be important to you, but given I'm about 60 lbs overweight and that it isn't my most important problem right now (i.e., not my priority), well, I do feel worse about my body than before I read your post. Continue to post anyway, I'm not asking you to censor yourself; I'm just expressing what it did to me to read it. I am fat and ugly. And I'm getting orthodontic braces next week too. lololol ! It's true. I have to laugh at it all otherwise I'll cry.
>
> Good luck with your quest for the prefect body.
>
> - sid

Hello Sid and Jane

I didn't mean to give the wrong impression. I am very overweight 5'2" 182 lbs. I just felt that I recently learned that being active might be helpful. I don't condone dieting because it never works. I have found that walking (which is what I started with) made a difference. At this point I am just hoping to keep up my activity and strengthen my physical body -- so perhaps I can be healthier. With my depression I tend to do nothing--lie around and sleep or cry-so I tried this hoping to help the depression too. I do agree that one should not be hung up on body image, however, it makes sense to try and get healthier physically as that may also help with the emotional state.

Jane, don't feel bad about the post -- I think you were just putting out a question in hopes for suggestions for yourself. Keep trying -- it does help.

SarahMarie

 

Re: Losing weight

Posted by Fi on May 21, 2002, at 8:24:20

In reply to Losing weight, posted by janejj on May 20, 2002, at 19:10:12

Aside from any of the issues about weight-and why society accepts that all women be expected to have the figure of a teenage boy (except with the possible addition of huge boobs)...

It comes down to eating less calories and burning more up.

So that means a diet you can sustain long term- so the usual advice is an ordinary balanced healthy one with plenty of fruit, veg fibre etc. Any health professional should be able to tell you more. And more exercise- whatever variety you can stand, and preferably regularly!

Tho of course life is deeply unfair as some people can stuff themselves with chips in front of the TV and be thin, and others can't.

And it is worth looking at whether a bit of wobble, in the areas that most women wobble in, is worth getting paranoid about, too?!

Fi

 

please read this and my post to sid, above. janejj

Posted by BeARdEdLaDY on May 21, 2002, at 8:25:21

In reply to Losing weight, posted by janejj on May 20, 2002, at 19:10:12

Don't feel bad. You shouldn't. Your jiggling stomach is a pesky annoyance that you'd rather not have. My dependence on Serzone for sleep is one I'd rather not have.

I have insomnia, and I'm virtually cured with my med. But I know how it feels to sleep one hour in four days. I have been there, and I will go back some time, though I wish it weren't so. And while it may not be as serious as cutting myself or being so depressed I can't get out of bed or raise my child, it's mine.

Over the summer, I was having a migraine. I sat in a rocking chair on a friend's porch (I was vacationing in another state), when a car pulled up. The couple (our friend's brother and his wife and child) got out and greeted me. The wife asked if I was okay, and I told her it was just an aura migraine, but I had to close my eyes for a few minutes.

Later I learned that she was a four-year breast cancer survivor. And here I am complaining about a migraine.

Well, our headaches hurt. They are not brain tumors or cancer, but they hurt. And they are ours.

beardy : )>

 

Re: Losing weight janejj

Posted by sid on May 21, 2002, at 9:09:07

In reply to Re: Losing weight, posted by janejj on May 20, 2002, at 22:35:31

No problem, we all have things we want to improve in ourselves, you're entitled to want to lose 5-10 lbs. It just made me realize the long road ahead of me!

Yeah, I'm getting a tooth pulled out this Friday, front right side (ugly gap as I will smile!!!), then the braces next week. I'm glad I'm getting them because I've always had a complex about it. I take extra good care of my teeth, but theu're not in the right place! It's the first time I have money to get them, so I do.

Again, don't sweat it... your message was fine. I just had to voice my reaction to it. And also, perhaps, make you realize that 5-10 lbs is not the end of the world !

Take care,

- sid

 

Re: me too, sid. BeARdEdLaDY

Posted by sid on May 21, 2002, at 9:18:56

In reply to me too, sid. , posted by BeARdEdLaDY on May 21, 2002, at 7:19:11

Thanks beardedlady,
I know, I know. I just had to voice my reaction... I hope that janejj is less paranoid about her "wobbly" stomach (where indeed?), now that she knows that some of us have wobbly everything. At least I do ! I do freak out about it, especially when I think of long run effects on my health (it's not all appearance to me, I'm very careful with my health after all these years fighting depression). But I have other personal priorities right now:
- building a career
- earning a decent living
- getting rid of negative influences in my life (I finally decided not to socialize with my abusive brother in law anymore - that's a major thing in my life)
- getting and staying mentally healthy
- getting back into physical shape (yoga for now, swimming soon)
and then: losing weight!
Mind you, I saw a dietician last week, and I started making some diet changes (long run types of changes). But I am more interested in being healthy than thin. I will never be thin anyway, I'm shaped like a football player (with the equipment!). lololol

Well, thanks for the good thoughts. And I am sure you are beautiful too. Except for the beard perhaps. lolololol

- sid

 

beard is well-groomed and silky. : ) (nm) sid

Posted by BeARdEdLaDY on May 21, 2002, at 9:29:22

In reply to Re: me too, sid. BeARdEdLaDY, posted by sid on May 21, 2002, at 9:18:56

 

Excellent ! (nm) BeARdEdLaDY

Posted by sid on May 21, 2002, at 9:34:05

In reply to beard is well-groomed and silky. : ) (nm) sid, posted by BeARdEdLaDY on May 21, 2002, at 9:29:22

 

Re: Losing weight janejj

Posted by Krazy Kat on May 21, 2002, at 11:53:38

In reply to Losing weight, posted by janejj on May 20, 2002, at 19:10:12

jane:

don't feel bad about posting this. I am 5'8". Last summer I weighed 125. Now I weight about 150 due to med weight gain. Am usually about 130.

the biggest thing about it is the jiggling for me, as well. it drives me crazy.

but that is "fixed" with exercise. no other way to do it.

yoga and walking will do it. so will excessive work-outs. i opt for yoga and walking.

when one is a certain size most of their lives and then that suddenly changes, it causes a great deal of emotional grief. if my pdoc wasn't in tune with the fact that this weight gain has hurt me, i'd look elsewhere.

i second isom's diet suggestion - go for vegies and whole foods. your body will (most likely)process them better and drink water. just everytime you think about it.

if you need protein (i don't need much), then i like the zone diet. my brother did well on that.

then try to do yoga and/or walk every day, even a little ways. or just stretch - any use of a muscle is going to tighten it.

and, above all, don't stress about it. you just want to get your body in better shape eventually.

oh, also dance classes - fun and good for you!

- kk

 

hold in your stomach...

Posted by Krazy Kat on May 21, 2002, at 12:59:11

In reply to Re: Losing weight janejj, posted by Krazy Kat on May 21, 2002, at 11:53:38

whenever you think about...

 

Re: Losing weight

Posted by Racquel on May 22, 2002, at 3:21:56

In reply to Re: Losing weight janejj, posted by IsoM on May 21, 2002, at 1:27:30

Janejj:
There's nothing wrong with wanting to improve your appearance or lose a few pounds. However, given your height and weight, instead of focusing on "weight loss," I would advise you to concentrate on building muscle and burning fat. This will take care of your concerns about your legs and stomach. For me, weight training and cardio exercise have improved my appearance trememdously. I'm 5'7" and 127 lbs but appear very slim (to others, anyway) because it's mostly muscle (muscle weighs more than fat). In addition, muscle burns more calories than fat. Joining the gym was the best thing I ever did for my health, and contrary to what you may think, it is a lot of fun working out! So, join a gym and consult one of the fitness trainers to start you on a regular exercise program. You won't be sorry, I promise. Oh, and as a sufferer of severe clinical depression and a near-suicide attempt, I can't overstate the mental health benefits of exercise as well. Good Luck!
Racquel

 

Its OK to want to get in shape and look good!

Posted by ST on May 25, 2002, at 4:04:56

In reply to Losing weight, posted by janejj on May 20, 2002, at 19:10:12

Hi Janej,

So you want to lose 5-10 lbs. The fact that our society usually only views thin women as "attractive" has nothing to do with your post! Unles you're woefully underweight and hiding anorexia form us, there's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to lose 5-10 lbs. Besides, taking care of ourselves by eating well and exercising our bodies boosts our confidence and helps with depression.

ANYWAY, I feel that exercise truly is the key to losing weight. Even if you're just walking fro 15 minutes every other day. And building muscles is the way to get your body to burn calories and fat even while you're not exercising. Push-ups, squats, leg lifts - any exercise where you are lifting your own weight - will help you burn calories and tone you. And if you want to use weights, buy ten pound dumbells. I used to just do a ton of cardivascular exercise and never touch weights. Now I'm amazed at how much less time I have to sweat to get results because I've added light weights and toning exercises to my regimen.

(If I'm telling you things you already know, I'm sorry!)

If you do work out at a gym and are willing to get on some machines or use dumbbells at home, try

http://www.exrx.net/Lists/Directory.html

On this web site, you can click on a muscle group, it'll show you what exercises to do for it.(You'll actually see a person doing the exercises - I think it's animated) Also,
www.shape.com

will guide you through some at home exercises. Warning - beautiful models in bikinis on this web site!

As far as eating goes, eat often (to boost your metabolism) and eat sensibly with lots of veggies and fruit, try not to eat too many carbs - expecially late in the day or evening - and don't eat after about 7 pm.

This advice comes to you from a woman who has been thin and in shape, gained 30 lbs and now is trying to get back to where she was!

Best of luck and let me know how it goes!!

Sarah

 

Re: Losing weight

Posted by Tabitha on June 9, 2002, at 3:27:10

In reply to Losing weight, posted by janejj on May 20, 2002, at 19:10:12

Hi Jane,

Those last 5-10 pounds are the hardest. I've never been able to stay on a diet, it just seems like a losing battle fighting the appetite every day.

The one thing that really worked for me was regular swimming (slow pace, long distances). I was at least 15 pounds thinner then, and could eat all I wanted. My metabolism was just revved up from it I think. Slept better, too.

These days my weight is back up and I'm working on flab acceptance.

Good luck,
Tabitha

 

how to lose weight (not too serious!) Tabitha

Posted by sid on June 9, 2002, at 23:32:08

In reply to Re: Losing weight, posted by Tabitha on June 9, 2002, at 3:27:10

Get orthodontic braces! Who knew? Not a serious way of losing weight... unless you do need braces of course! It's a nice side effect of the treatment for me anyway.

Oral hygiene has to be perfect in order for your teeth not to be damages in the process (24 months for me!). It takes forever to floss and brush properly, so, you don't eat often! You have t oreally be hungry to start over the eating-brushing cycle. And when you eat, you can't eat very sweet or sticky things, no very hard things either. So no more sweets, or not often anyway. Mond you, I'm somewhat of an oral hygiene freak to start with, so I needed little encouragement to follow the doctor's orders precisely. I normally brush everytime I have coffee or a glass of anything in the day - sometimes up to 8 times a day (a little OCD perhaps? I slowed down since... my gums were getting thin!).

Anyway, since getting braces, I eat a tofu-fruit milk shake in the morning (no sugar added), pasta at noon or ground meat and mash potatoes-&-veggies, and vegetable soup in the evening. Now that it does not hurt so much (the 1st week was the worse), I can vary my diet more, but I still don't eat as much as before, because I stopped eating between meals due to the time-consuming hygiene ritual.

I have lost about 3 lbs in 10 days. I want to keep my better habits once the braces are removed: no more eating or drinking (except water) between meals !

- sid


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