Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 210

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What will I talk about in therapy tomorrow?

Posted by beardedlady on June 4, 2002, at 9:33:09

Gosh. I've been sleeping fine for about a week now--last night I slept from 9:30 to 7:00 this morning, and I had trouble waking up! (I dreamt that I was having sex with David Bowie, and I was really like it!)

So what will I talk about with my therapist tomorrow? The fact that I've had two orgasms in my sleep this week? (Maybe he'll have some advice on how to have them more often!)

beardy : )>

 

Re: What will I talk about in therapy tomorrow? beardedlady

Posted by judy1 on June 4, 2002, at 13:03:24

In reply to What will I talk about in therapy tomorrow?, posted by beardedlady on June 4, 2002, at 9:33:09

I think your therapist will be delighted that you're doing so well, having orgasms while sleeping has got to be the antithesis of depression :-). Now if I spoke about that, I would be accused of being hypomanic. See, a label problem. Anyway, I'm glad you sound so well (and have for a while). Take care, Judy

 

Re: What will I talk about in therapy tomorrow? beardedlady

Posted by terra miller on June 4, 2002, at 13:38:11

In reply to What will I talk about in therapy tomorrow?, posted by beardedlady on June 4, 2002, at 9:33:09

Hmm.... maybe your difficulty with self-disclosure as witnessed in your post?? <way giggling>

:-)
Terra

 

Re: What will I talk about in therapy tomorrow?

Posted by katekite on June 4, 2002, at 22:40:16

In reply to What will I talk about in therapy tomorrow?, posted by beardedlady on June 4, 2002, at 9:33:09

Hi Beardy,

Wanted to let you know I took your advice in a way and talked to my shrink (therapist) today about how I felt therapy wasn't helping or that I didn't want to go when depressed, etc. It was the best session in a month at least. One of those heart wrenching things where you leave feeling faint but somehow convinced you're getting better.

I feel a lot more like therapy with this guy will work after today, that I just need to be brutally honest all the time. I've been too polite (not stopping him when he starts telling me things I know and agreeing too easily to things I don't believe). Not all my fault though, he says he needs to try harder to be practical and behavior oriented for me (something he's not used to). That its easier for him to analyze than not. Being ADD I wander and bring up lots of truly irrelevant things and that's a challenge for him but he should be able to handle it and often just doesn't.

I came away challenged with actual homework, which I'd been asking for over and over -- just not loud enough or he didn't listen. And the practice at being assertive today was really good for me.

I doubt this will help you find a topic for tomorrow but just wanted to say thanks for responding to me a few days back.

Plus I'm happy reading a David Sedaris book which is just so so funny. So a well spent day.

take care and sleep well,

kate

 

assertiveness katekite

Posted by Willow on June 5, 2002, at 7:16:36

In reply to Re: What will I talk about in therapy tomorrow?, posted by katekite on June 4, 2002, at 22:40:16

Kate

I was flipping through the channels yesterday and on Oprah was a guy talking about being assertive. I don't know what all it was about, but perhaps there's a website where we can find more info?

Will post if I find something.

Wandering Willow

 

Assertiveness link ...

Posted by Willow on June 5, 2002, at 7:23:47

In reply to Re: What will I talk about in therapy tomorrow?, posted by katekite on June 4, 2002, at 22:40:16

http://www.oprah.com/tows/pastshows/tows_2002/tows_past_20020129.jhtml

I don't know if the info is any good. Worth a look at though.

BEST WISHES
Willow

 

That's terrific! katekite

Posted by beardedlady on June 5, 2002, at 7:56:10

In reply to Re: What will I talk about in therapy tomorrow?, posted by katekite on June 4, 2002, at 22:40:16

I'm glad you worked that out. It's wonderful to feel so positive, and I think things will finally go your way. If you feel like disclosing it, what's your homework?

beardy : )>

 

Thank you willow -- very sweet of you! (nm)

Posted by katekite on June 5, 2002, at 20:22:45

In reply to Assertiveness link ..., posted by Willow on June 5, 2002, at 7:23:47

 

Re: That's terrific!

Posted by katekite on June 5, 2002, at 20:41:23

In reply to That's terrific! katekite, posted by beardedlady on June 5, 2002, at 7:56:10

Homework: to write down in a clearly visible place somewhere a reminder to interrupt my inner critic, and then do it whenever I notice it going (which is most of the time).

I tend to discredit myself or minimize my accomplishments, not so much directly criticize myself as persistently undermine even small achievements. For example, last week my husband broke the lawn mower by extreme overfilling with oil. (he's not too handy). It smoked for a while and stopped. I took it all apart (including the engine itself) and cleaned it out, scraped out the crap, and made it work again. Instead of being proud of that, I somehow decided that it hadn't really been "broken" since it was simply overfilled with oil -- thus I didn't actually "fix" it, just did what anyone would do by cleaning it out. I was explaining this to my husband with an air of confidence when he interupted to say was I nuts of course I had fixed it because it had not been turning on before. This minimizing thing happens with almost every accomplishment however small.

So homework is to intervene -- that old standby of "what would you say to someone who said that negative comment?" -- and insert some phrase like "that took a lot of effort and you should be proud of yourself for being so handy at fixing things." Of course when I do that it sounds totall fake to me, but I'm working at it hard now and trying to make it a habit that at least competes with the critical side. And I'm hopefully starting to recognize more situations that could possibly call for self-accolade. All in the name of finding my non-existent self-esteem.

Thanks for asking. It feels great to be working on something and not just waiting around for the next session.

kate

 

Good Homework! katekite

Posted by beardedlady on June 6, 2002, at 6:00:31

In reply to Re: That's terrific!, posted by katekite on June 5, 2002, at 20:41:23

Yeah, the lawnmower thing needs work. I would never have thought to do that, nor would most people. We'd just run it up to lawnmower repair guy, and wait a week. Is it a pat on the back from others that would make you feel more esteemed? Because I can pat. If it's just something inside you, you'll have to work hard. And that's good homework for you.

My homework is to make a list of the things I enjoy doing. Since happiness for me is fleeting, and since I don't feel joy like others, I have to find a bunch of things that are fun to do and plan to work them in--as relates to life here and vacation where ever.

Next week I am taking a personality test to determine whether I have a chemical flaw in my brain or a personality problem that has led to a mood disorder. Isn't that a kick in the pants?

Couldn't decide what to say to my therapist yesterday, so I told him I've been unable to feel cheerful for my entire life, that I have two pictures of me that I point to and say, "I was happy here." Really, I can think of two times that I was truly happy. So now I have a mood disorder? Hmph.

Anyway, I've been assigned the "do something fun" homework before, and it worked briefly. But now I have to make the list.

Congrats on our good fortunes, Kate.

beardy : )>


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