Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 167

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really good therapists

Posted by beardedlady on May 30, 2002, at 7:02:57

My therapist and I are on an as-needed basis. When he thinks I'm doing well, he says, "Call me when you need me." When he doesn't, he says, "I have next Wednesday at 5:00 open." He's honest about it, too, as I often feel the last session is extraneous—like we've covered all the bases.

So I called him during my frustrating relapse (which lasts, usually, three days, one week, or two weeks), and he called to say he doesn't have anything until next week—a full seven days away. But he asked me what was wrong and told me what to do about it in the meantime. It was a short conversation, but he not only listened, he ASKED! He's a really great person.

I am not in love with my therapist in any sense of the word, but I have to say that I like, respect, and admire him. He reminds me a little of my husband—long before the cynicism hit. He's earthy, into Eastern philosphies and religions, warm, funny, extremely intelligent in many areas, and talented (plays guitar). He's a bit older, but he has the perfect personality for his job.

I have had only two other therapists (one was a woman who, I thought, was a little fake-ly warm; the other was a Leo Buscaglia type of man who was into some of the same techniques, which didn't really work with me--those muscle relaxing tapes, etc.), but the three of them were vastly different in their personalities.

Finding a good one makes such a difference. Because if you think ill thoughts of yours, how can you trust that he's doing a good job? So I just wanted to tell folks that they shouldn't feel guilty if they decide to seek help elsewhere, even after a long relationship. If you don't like the approach or the personality of your therapist, it's hard to get better.

I did not get better until I met mine. And I am getting better all the time.

beardy : )>


Re: really good therapists » beardedlady

Posted by terra miller on May 30, 2002, at 9:41:43

In reply to really good therapists, posted by beardedlady on May 30, 2002, at 7:02:57

great post.

i think we must see the same guy. :-)

i'm glad you've found a good fit, and you are right- when you've got a good fit you do get better and you can tell and even be able to describe how and why, like you just did. it's worth finding a good match.



Re: really good therapists

Posted by Penny on May 30, 2002, at 14:35:04

In reply to really good therapists, posted by beardedlady on May 30, 2002, at 7:02:57

I, too, have a wonderful therapist who is there for me when I need her. I can ask her to call me at night and she will. I see her every week b/c we're doing some intense work right now and when she thinks I am in trouble (when the depression is running rampant) she has me call to check in with her at night. I have had a problem with becoming a bit too attached to her, but that seems to be resolving itself.

And, as though having a good therapist wasn't enough, I have a fantastic pdoc too who is very much available to me when I need him. He gives his pager number to his patients and tells us to page him 'anytime.' And he means ANYTIME. If it's an emergency, you put 911 behind your number and he'll call you immediately, no matter what. And he doesn't have a time limit on our sessions. We talk as long as I need to, and there's no charge on between-session phone calls. Hmmm...makes me feel fortunate.

The two of them have really saved my life, and they're attempting right now to save it again. I wish everyone could find mental healthcare providers they felt that kind of confidence in.



Re: really good therapists

Posted by beardedlady on May 31, 2002, at 7:21:20

In reply to Re: really good therapists, posted by Penny on May 30, 2002, at 14:35:04

I like my pdoc, too. I have his pager, and he always calls back. He's not at all warm and fuzzy, but he has genuine concern, you know? But here's what he says about my insomnia: "The day you stop caring how much you sleep is the day your insomnia will disappear."

There's truth to that, I know. On the nights that I say, "OK, I slept well for a week; it's okay to have trouble tonight," I do fine. And when I wake up at 3:30 a.m. and say, "OK, I've slept 6 hours. I'll be fine if I don't fall asleep," I fall asleep.

But he has never told me how to stop caring about it when it's only 2:00, and I have exactly one hour to fall back to sleep or take a sleeping pill. Or when it's 11:00, and I still haven't fallen asleep.

beardy : )>


Re: really good therapists » Penny

Posted by Tabitha on June 7, 2002, at 23:02:38

In reply to Re: really good therapists, posted by Penny on May 30, 2002, at 14:35:04

A pdoc who gives free phone time? Wow. Mine even charges to answer email. Once he sent me something straight off Dr Bob's Psychopharmacology Tips page and charged me 40 bucks!

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