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Things I am not going to die of...

Posted by alexandra_k on February 15, 2021, at 22:55:57

I am not going to die water canyoning in switzerland like my brother.

unlikely to.

He was adopted -- so that likely explains it.

I am not going to die of lung cancer like my father.

I am not going to die of leukaemia. Like my mother might.

She sent me some blurry pictures of her medical notes. I guess because she didn't know how else to tell me. Because I would want to know...

And that might be difficult. Because she doesn't want to know, particularly.

It sounds like they have been keeping an eye on her blood tests for some time... But the last lot had them worried.

Little bits say things like consistent with mantle cell lymphoma and many abnormalities and complicated and advanced.

and of course my first thoughts are 'say the people too cheap to pay their workers and to pay for medical supplies etc... the people who threw granddad into a concentration camp because he refused to force people who didn't want to die to go die overseas'.

which isn't what she needs / wants to hear right now.


apparently ritixumab or whatever it's called is funded here, now. and... she didn't give me the names of the genetic tests they did...

she's saying it might have been what granddad had...

in their 80's...

anyway... i guess i'm sort of doing some grieving. because i always thought she'd outlive me.

but i guess denial.

by the sounds of it she's known for quite some time.

i always did say 'i feel it in my bones'.

curse of cassandra, or something.

but that's her: not me.

turn the f*ck*ng heater on. give your immune system a f*ck*ng break.




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