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Re: To be utterly fair Dinah

Posted by spoc on April 28, 2004, at 10:51:55

In reply to Re: To be utterly fair to Dr. Bob spoc, posted by Dinah on April 28, 2004, at 8:45:27

> Nothing I posted last night had anything to do with any of his actions.

Goodmorning! And ok, I had thought you sounded frustrated by the end of the evening, and wanted to help leave things on an amiable note by considering different dynamics. The kinds of things you had been saying when we were all still in a reflection mode were, Here are some thoughts -- I often assume (nm)s don't require a response; I try not to get attached to my posts because waiting can cause anxiety; interesting to analyze these things, etc. The quick subsequent change in the tone of the thread wasn't soothing for anyone involved, but came from emotions that never would have been felt or expressed spontaneously. Anyway the bottom line is that I hope to leave the air all clear with us. : )

If at some point (not even necessarily now because my brain is crispy over all this too!) you could help Fallen and me understand some of the 'whys', I think we'd sincerely appreciate it. You're as good at interpreting that stuff as possible! Why the positions of the two camps and right to express them weren't equally valid and the same in their underlying identification of inaccurate perceptions as the cause; and why there have been innumerable passionate historical debates over some general board or poster pattern/trend, with the heated exchanges allowed to flow freely unless and until someone made it personal to another party.

I know life isn't always utterly fair and no one should expect it to be -- most posters asking to have sense made of the discrepancies over time have had to do without, and sometimes this has pained you too. I think it's a good idea to at least try asking first before rolling over. I would like to think that of course the greater good of the board is vital, but that the lot of individuals (in this application, more fragile individuals) counts too. At its root, a PBC is the preliminary notion that you could be the type who is bad for a community. That's painful, so comprehensible justification and help with seeing the uniformity in it is only fair, especially as this is a mental health board concerned with people getting the right messages from their environments to the extent possible.

Consistency, benefit of the doubt, the whole "Better that a thousand guilty men go free than one innocent man is convicted" thing. Even if the innocent man's circumstance hasn't endeared him. As a matter of fact, if we can't get help with seeing where the consistency is, our chances for not repeating the offense are greatly decreased, and we won't know when it's ok for us to join in future discussions in which the same kinds of things are going on but no one is being reprimanded or thought to be upsetting by anyone involved.

Ok, enough philosophizing! Boy do I wish I could be "in person" sometimes; the "in writing" thing sure does have its limits! ;- )




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