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Re: Invisibility

Posted by spoc on April 27, 2004, at 19:51:27

In reply to Re: Invisibility » Fallen4MyT, posted by gardenergirl on April 27, 2004, at 14:26:01

I also wanted to make sure people know that not as much attention to all posters was being suggested as some may have gathered. And much of the point is “posting around” people -– not posting, leaving, and forgetting; but staying on a thread and going around them during it. And if it’s someone you haven’t ‘spoken’ to yet, and they are popping up (maybe in several places), and perhaps at times trying to talk to you in particular (they may not even know the ins and outs of that), it’s just nice to try to be aware of it. And I’d think people would want to be, so it didn’t seem like a bad idea to point it out.

I could see where going beyond that could feel at times like "mercy posting" that some may not always be up to (and I do not mean that sarcastically). And it's of course discretionary (but, it *is* the way to get to know different people; and as much as we may feel we've already found them all, realistically we know there are other great ones for us out there). Either way, it would be courteous to always watch out for the "go-around" mentioned above.

It wasn't implied that people have a duty to remember every place all over the entire board they have posted, so they can check back; nor that they should respond to every single person who ever posts to them, especially if they know each other. And infrequent posters should of course never be expected to change and post more or to more people. No one meant it that way. I don’t have expectations on that level here or in real life, and it’s feeling rather foreign at this point, and wasn't supposed to be all about me in particular at all.

It was supposed to be only about a simple principle of human nature and a suggestion that as part of the largely poster-perpetuated “value added” community here, people may want to be cognizant of this kind of thing. It would be too bad if everything gets attributed exclusively to things like over-sensitivity, overreaction, or attachment to one's own posts. Those as well as everything else mentioned so far are true at times, but there are other aspects, and it could have just been enlightening and useful to look at. But it may be too complicated for many reasons, from people not being able to see it if it is there, to those in agreement being hesitant that discussing it could exacerbate things.

I have more thoughts on it all, but am not sure how much more I should or will post to this. The subject may fall flat and just upset or irritate, maybe including Dr. Bob. And it's uncomfortable to proceed under that, especially if it just isn’t going to be seen as a possibly constructive thing. But either way, just wanted to clarify that the issue wasn’t expectations of the kind of exceptional attentiveness mentioned above, in case that is what continues to be addressed.

Thanks everyone for posting your comments and interpretations.




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