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Re: invisibility

Posted by Dinah on April 26, 2004, at 20:57:24

In reply to Re: invisibility Dinah, posted by spoc on April 26, 2004, at 20:33:48

Well, I do think it's natural for people to be drawn to certain people more than others. People who see the world in the same way, people who are sharing similar experiences, people who remind you of you either now or at some point in the past, or just people that catch your fancy. I don't know that it's a matter of longevity on the board. (You might recall that I told you that you reminded me a bit of myself.)

But I do know that there are some topics I rarely pass up. (Therapy being the biggie.) And there are other topics like relationships or literature or fine movies that I don't touch if my best friend started the thread. I just have nothing at all worthwhile to say on those topics.

It is true that if someone I have known for a long time, and that has been consistent in their support of me, is having a rough time, I'll rouse myself out of a depressive torpor to say something at least vaguely supportive if perhaps not too coherent. At least I will if I'm reading the board, which I don't always do.

But the thing is that everyone has the opportunity to be that person that someone else pulls themselves from a stupor to answer. It does take time though. Relationships do take time to form. Shared histories form. Short hand communication. So I might talk to Noa about flaming amygdalas, or Judy about SPOW, and that might seem a bit exclusive to others. But that doesn't mean I won't be talking to Underthecs about XXX or Spoc about YYY in a month or two. And that's where bulletin boards come in really handy. If you want to know what on earth flaming amygdalas or SPOW is, the search engine is a click away. And presto, you are "in" on the shared language and history.

So there are, perhaps, two levels. You may be right about that. And the second level may develop at different rates of time with different people. Some people you might fall instantly in love with. Some people you might grow to appreciate over time.

But at the first level, I think the reasons people do or don't respond are rarely personal and have more to do with external factors.




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