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Re: Gay relationship + SAD(Depression and others...) fayeroe

Posted by Vincent_QC on April 5, 2009, at 9:23:10

In reply to Re: Gay relationship + SAD(Depression and others...) Vincent_QC, posted by fayeroe on April 4, 2009, at 21:17:28

> I hope that you meet the new guy. You'll never know unless you can talk to him in depth. Just be careful, okay? (Same advice for women who meet men/women on internet) :-) Pat

Hi Pat ;-)
Well , that's already an old story. The day after I wrote this thread, the guy write to me and treat me of "B*llsh*tt*r" and that's I was makind him loosing his time! Just because I don't call the day he wanted... I explain to him that I hated the phone and other things often, but when I see what the guy was able to do, who didn't know me by the way, and who just write e-mails to me, when I see he was able to treat me like like a b*llsh*tt*r, I just give up...He was probably another gay guy who wanted to go faster (meet + sex) and with affective problems (dependance)...

He also deleted his acccount on facebook, told me it was my fault, that I was responsable of this because he loose any faith on finding an interresting guy on the Internet...things like that...

When I read the e-mail, I was saying to myself "Thanks god, I never call him...what a pain in the *ss it will be after...".

I send a short -email to his "charming" e-mail. I told him that I was very good now with the method "The let go and detachment" (don't know if that exist in english...). Anyway, I write that for me, I had nothing to share with him now and that I never wanted to read another e-mail from him...

It'S a lie to told you that his e-mail didn't affect me, I know that I don't call but I have a disease, social phobia and the phone is a part of my phobia...I hate it!!! I was a lot affected by his e-mail, more than what I was saying to my best friend when I told him the story...

The fact that he make me responsable of the deleted account on facebook and everywhere on the Internet website and website like that one, make me think that he was also probably not very stable emotionnaly...I told him that the only one person to blame was him..and I ending the e-mail with a good luck in your life... He do the same on his nasty e-mail before...He wrote something like "Good luck with your treatment, you really need it!!! "... That what I call a several lack of judgement...judgments made by someone who don't know me in real...

Anyway, in my case, I didn't erease my facebook profile, I stay on others websites...when I will feel it's time to move and meet someone I will make it... I just wait for the good person...and that's really hard to find...Someone who will not judge me because I have a social phobia problem with depressive symptoms...and because I are disable of the work...I'm not a piece of sh*t, i'm a human being and I deserve more in life than this...

Yes, I try to apply the let go method with him...but when I read the nasty e-mail, my heart start racing and I do a major panic attack, I had a LOW mood for a couples of days...I was upset because it was like someone who take the right to accuse me of being sick or do it on purpose...and that's not the case...I never ask to be like I am now and the social phobia or the general anxiety or the depression can't diseppear like this...I work hard to improve my state and I don't need someone like this who make all my "rehabs" state impossible...

Hope you understand ...and sorry if I do a lot of english level is not at the top at this moment...too many cognitives problems related to benzos drugs probably...

Have a nice day Pat!!!

Vincent ;-)




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