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Breakup has left me so down

Posted by Faedra on December 16, 2007, at 1:50:50

I am in pain right now. I had fallen in love with the guy I was dating but he broke up with me tonight. I believe that he really does care for me--a lot--but he just doesn't think I'm the right person for him. The problem is that this always happens. My last relationships lasted 3 months, 3 months, and 5 1/2 months. (I didn't like these other guys as much as this one, though). I thought that things were going to be different with Gary because the feelings seemed to be mutual, but I guess he was having mixed feelings.

Whenever I have asked a guy I've dated what I've done wrong, the answer is always, "You haven't done anything; you're lovely. It's just something you can't put your finger on." I've really come to believe that the problem is my lack of confidence due to having a bad upbringing. Like Gary said, "You're too nice. You need to think about yourself, what you want, and what will make YOU happy. You try too hard to please others." I am trying my best to change, and I'm in therapy. But:

1. I'm insecure
2. I'm a people-pleaser (why is this a bad quality??)
3. It's hard to feel good about yourself when you feel that people always leave you.

All I want is to find someone to love me. I know that "no one else can make you happy," and that "you have to love yourself first," but you know what? I felt wonderfully happy when I was with Gary! I adored him and felt very fulfilled and happy in our relationship. I don't know how I'm going to manage because I honestly feel that I will never find someone who accepts me as I am, flaws and all. I think this relationship might be the last straw that kills the little bit of hope I still had.




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