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Re: Floodgate baseball55

Posted by J Kelly on March 20, 2016, at 19:59:04

In reply to Re: Floodgate J Kelly, posted by baseball55 on March 20, 2016, at 19:32:48

> When you've been holding back a lot of feelings, things do get worse before getting better, because, if you let yourself be vulnerable and take it seriously, therapy tends to open up all these emotions. What I've lost, what I never had, what I need, what I am struggling with. It can seem overwhelming. But a good therapist will sit with you and bear witness to your grief/regret/whatever.

It came out of nowhere. The overwhelming feeling of loss. Who I used to be. And the utter despair that I'm no longer that person.

I think she is very good and while I know it will be hard I'm gonna do the work. It felt odd to cry. I'm so locked up I physically feel ill when I go. But the flood gate needs to open and I need to grieve and move on.

> But there will come a time, hopefully not to long after you begin, when you feel grateful to have opened up this stuff and reflected upon yourself with the support of a caring person who, by profession, asks nothing in return except for your co-pay.
> That's my reaction. But I had a wonderful therapist and, though intense and painful, a wonderful experience with therapy. Not everyone does. Sometimes because the therapist is not skilled or is not a good fit, sometimes because the client really can't allow themselves to be vulnerable. I know people who have been to therapists, sometimes multiple therapists, who never cried in therapy. I never cried before therapy, but for the first several months of therapy, I rarely got through a session without crying.

I think she's a good fit and it surprises me that I can cry. Its been so long. I have hope and faith. Thank you for your kind and thoughtful words.





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