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in a very dark place.. please someone talk with me

Posted by Lamdage22 on October 17, 2011, at 7:30:20

In reply to oh boy do the emotions come up, posted by Lamdage22 on October 15, 2011, at 8:33:20

Is posting down again? I have seldom been as sad as i am now..

NO parents (i have some but they just f*ck*d me over and over again), NO partner, very few friends, and a broken and confused heart..

it hurts like hell.. i cry more of the time than i am not crying. I walk around listening to a song called private hell.. cuz thats what it f*ck*ng is. My life my very own hell and no way out.

And this woman.. it really felt like love. I just do not get what the f*ck is going on. I have never felt so close to a woman. And she says all this stuff she loves me etc etc. I mean it didn't sound like she was lying. And her caresses/kisses neither. The way we were on the bed next to each other in complete peace. I just can't get over it. yeah but as she asked if i come to this club thing i have lost my mind and.. insulted her and so on and so on. And deleted her number. I should have just asked whats going on instead. Rejected her before she could do the same to me. Like HARDCORE.

Now i will never know.. and never see her again.

This is SO f*ck*d everything.. This breakup pain feels like a part of me is dying.
I have never felt such a thing because i just started feeling ANYTHING not much more than a year ago.

Moreover: want to have some f*ck*ng PARENTS!!! a place thats there for me as a shelter.. it never existed.

Don't know if ill be able to create the life i want.. i really don't. With women I'm sooo disturbed




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poster:Lamdage22 thread:999306