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Re: in a very dark place.. please someone talk with me

Posted by Lamdage22 on October 17, 2011, at 17:59:11

In reply to Re: in a very dark place.. please someone talk with me, posted by sigismund on October 17, 2011, at 10:50:43

> > The way we were on the bed next to each other in complete peace. I just can't get over it. yeah but as she asked if i come to this club thing i have lost my mind and.. insulted her and so on and so on. And deleted her number. I should have just asked whats going on instead. Rejected her before she could do the same to me. Like HARDCORE.
> OK, right, now I see.
> This is just my opinion, but it sounded so nice, even if there was money involved. And then you got very touchy about whether it was real?

Thanks Sigi.. for picking the thread up. Yes you got straight to the core of the issue. Its not easy but i will try to keep my posts a bit shorter. But please hear me out on this one!

It may sound nice but... its a bit unfair to regularly display deepest loving tenderness to someone but at the same time have some sort of problem (if not to say refuse to) spend time with him without taking money for it don't you think?

Yeah she told me all this stuff with marrying etc etc. I really wanted to SEE HER.. I got sick of it and told her: you know what a first step would be? SEE ME OUTSIDE!
She goes yes i know. -and she has talked about just this multiple times in the past!-
From this point on it all got extremely confusing. At times she sounded like she was totally down for doing it and at other times she goes "stay with me 3 hours now or i will not call you".
Even though i just came to drop my number and kinda say goodbye to her as a hooker.

And thats kind of where it stops for me. I told her if it costs me 300eur to get a call i would really prefer if she didn't call.

Later in that same "session", she was like "f*ck me".
I was like "yeah i can picture myself doing that" .. she goes "FOR MONEY!"

I have no idea what to make of all this.. and exactly that kills me.
I mean she didn't really refuse, she sent EXTREMELY MIXED MESSAGES. And didn't help me understand whats going on. Yeah, i completely lost my mind about the fact that: SHE CALLS ME.. but AGAIN ASKS ME IF I COME TO THE BROTHEL EVEN THOUGH I SAID GOODBYE TO "HER IN THE BROTHEL" AND SAID BYE TO THE "HOOKER DARIA".. thats her name.

My number was just in case she might still want to see me despite my final goodbye to paysex. But no, she uses the number to ask me if i come to the club.
I have to add her english is not the best.. but i can't imagine she didn't get this

Thats where i lost control and told her basically to f*ck off with asking me to pay money for love. With this kind of tone.. or worse :(

This affair is not the only reason for my pain. Having stopped the all the hookers.. a lot of emotions came up just with that. Emotions that i had previously suppressed with the brothel visits.

And these emotions.... they come straight from hell.




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