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Re: wow.. the ANGER!! ;)

Posted by Lamdage22 on October 14, 2011, at 19:09:17

In reply to Re: wow.. the ANGER!! ;) Lamdage22, posted by sigismund on October 14, 2011, at 17:32:16

> Just therapeutic encroachment
> I *do* understand how sex can become compulsive, but it is in the nature of sex to be so.
> This immediately brings to mind the Greek myths. I forget who it was, the queen who thought the bull was so beautiful she had Daedelus make her a cow for her to go into so she could have sex with it, thus giving birth to the Minator. Should we let that be our guide as to what we regard as compulsive?
> I am the worst person in the world for paid sex. What is a paid sex situation that could conceivably work for me? I pay the sex worker money regularly and we agree never to meet but only to write to each other, and then meet once (I don't know) every 5 years (but not for sex). That sounds hopeful. Almost erotic.

Yeah.. its not like they all hate it but of course they do it for money before everything else. But this one made me think.. It surely was some form of hate that this woman brought against me but i was -shame on me- kind of her boy toy even though she was not older than me. She just loved the attention she got.

Although i still have feelings for this girl it does not hurt as badly anymore. The thing that hurt the most is that i told her.. and i STRESSED that i am not going to be her customer anymore and i gave her my number IN CASE she would like to see me again despite this fact. Yeah she called.. i was like f*ck yeah and then she writes this SMS if i wanted to come to this club the next day. THAT hurt, she thinking i must be that dumb. Then i pulled up a translator for her language and blew it in her face full force that there is no way i am ever going to give her money for anything again and before all not for her "love". That felt good, damn.

What felt even better.. talking about anger: i had a major turnoff with german health system, with job market.. with german mental health professionals... with everything german. As i had herpes (not on the lips) and had to go to 6!! doctors until i finally got an antiviral when the crap was already on my butt...
i sat on the bus full of people and spontaneously was like: "f*ck germany.. F*CK GERMANY!!.. f*ck*ng german JERKOFFS!" It was LOUD haha. Omg that felt good. Some smiled including a black guy.. others just looked stupid. I just thought it was just reeeaally funny :D They deserve it big time. Sometimes you just need to open up a valve and let it out.

Sorry for off topic.

I should talk with my therapist about this whole thing next time as that prostitute is for some reason exactly the type of woman i am attracted to. The one that loves the attention i give her, not me.




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