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Re: wow..

Posted by Lamdage22 on October 13, 2011, at 10:10:30

In reply to Re: wow.., posted by Dinah on October 12, 2011, at 23:05:29

> I'm glad you quit. It doesn't seem the likeliest way to find someone to truly appreciate you for who you are.
> While I can understand the appeal of exposing her, holding on to the anger means holding on to her. Mightn't it be best to move on and truly let the whole thing go?

Dinah although one of your posts really gave me relief in a very difficult situation(thanks!) i have to disagree here. I really don't think so. I'm neither trying to hold onto the anger nor will i try to let it go. It goes naturally or it won't. Im a strong advocate of the philosophy of not trying to manipulate feelings, but living them through, however painful they might be.

Besides anger towards my parents didn't mean holding onto them so..

I am glad i quit, too. Fact is i wasn't looking for someone who loves me in there, she was pushing it onto me. Omg she was draining me in her "i love yous" and "i will quit and marry yous".

Well it seems I'm HIV negative. It is extremely unlikely I'm positive, i did a pcr and regular hit test/ I will do the Hepatitis tests and then try not ever do this sh*t again. Id rather take drugs, it is way more uncool to buy women than to do drugs even though that sucks, too.

Im curious if the discontinuation of a major addiction (if this is really it its just tobacco left) will make room for new insights and old feelings to arise, that might help me to move further in therapy and in the search/moving back to who i really am. For sure i used these brothels as an hideaway, an escape. I hope this is the case as it will motivate me further to stay with quitting.




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