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I suspect child abuse

Posted by Lam22 on September 13, 2011, at 2:28:17

Hello everyone,

another selfless post, i suspect child abuse is happening to my best friends 8 year old son. (My best friend is his mother, the parents live separated after she had a psychosis) I do not want to discuss all the details and hints as this would get a humongous, unorganized thread..
whats most important for me is how to give the son some support so he doesn't feel as lonely. It seems that this is all that can be done right now.

The young guy told us about being screamed at by his father, hitting with the fist on the table for bad grades and for not understanding when the father explains math for instance. He even shakes his head and screams at him "you will understand this! WONT YOU?".
This is what we KNOW for sure is going on.

To me his behavior points to even more severe abuse.. i have read my share of material about the topic and frankly my red flags are going crazy.

Well everyone involved doesn't not want him to get lost completely in the hands of his father, so any steps need to be carefully evaluated and seem pointless at this moment.

What can be done though is emotionally support the young man. Be an "enlightened witness" (alice miller) as far as I'm able to do this.
Any ideas how to do this? He likes me and is happy to see me when I'm around so i may be able to reach out to him.

Thought about giving him my cell for instance and that he can call or text me if he needs anything.

Yesterday, he reported being chided for a B- !!. After totally out of character and very suspicious behavior (and pale looks), i finally said to him: You know a B- is not a really bad grade right?
Right there he got calm and pretty much immediately fell sleep.

Any ideas how to reach out to him appreciated. And of course advice of Experienced folks like Phillipa!

Thanks a bunch!




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