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Re: aging issues in and out of therapy

Posted by annierose on August 19, 2011, at 22:22:01

In reply to aging issues in and out of therapy, posted by pegasus on August 19, 2011, at 11:38:12

I'm turning 50 this year and I do appreciate how difficult it is talking about our appearance with our t's. I never thought of myself as especially pretty and I do harbour body issues. And my t is super skinny, petite and fit... just a few years older than me. I always felt like the ugly duckling compared to my two sisters. It was hard to bring up to my pretty therapist. Once I did, she did tread carefully pointing out that it's possible for me to hold two thoughts of myself at the same time, one is that I would like to make some changes and secondly, I am okay just the way I am.

We would circle around this topic for close to two - three years, dipping our toes in the water, and popping out when I felt so exposed. She pointed out that we are our harshest critic - - - no one sees our flaws as closely as we do.

I too see the fine lines popping up on my face and weird spots on my skin. But I'm trying to be nicer to myself and nuture more caring thoughts. My t would ask me to talk to myself as I talk to my 17 year old daughter - what would I say to her if she complained, "I hate myself".

On the other hand, years and years ago, I saw a different therapist who was much older and heavy. Throughout my life I always had 10 - 20 pounds I wanted to lose - besides the ugly duckling thing going on. I could NEVER bring up weight/appearance issues with her EVER ... because she weighed 100 pounds more and was 20 years older.

So your younger attractive therapist might be an easier person to talk to than the opposite.

You can start by saying, "I'm noticing all these little changes as I age." And see where it goes.




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