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Re: My story - long pegasus

Posted by Daisym on January 11, 2011, at 0:24:03

In reply to Re: My story - long, posted by pegasus on January 10, 2011, at 16:53:20

I wrote another long reply and it is frustrating.

The trust issues are huge - and of course, most of this is not about actually having sex. It comes down to needs - I think my needs are too big - and I feel like I just had that confirmed. Beyond that, it is crushingly clear that he (meaning - no one) is going to be able to make me feel safe and secure forever. It is a huge fantasy to lose - coming from a very young place.

The icing on all of this is that I have a tendency to keep my mouth shut about most things that bother me. I let them go...I'm pretty accommodating in all my relationships. In this case, I spoke up and look what happened? So again - another confirmation that relationships get destroyed by my needs.

My therapist keeps finding these deep pockets that are attached to all of this. Poor guy has a cold and was losing his voice today. Kind of hard to keep pulling stuff out of me when he was struggling to talk.

We are doing this kind of waltz of easing into the session, eventually going back to all of this and then moving away from it with some kind of humor as the session ends. I have to admire his faith in the process.




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