Psycho-Babble Psychology | about psychological treatments | Framed
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Re: My story - long

Posted by Daisym on January 5, 2011, at 23:37:49

In reply to Re: My story - long, posted by Solstice on January 5, 2011, at 15:49:12

When I was a little girl, bad things usually happened at night. And then in the morning, we all ate breakfast together and went to school like nothing had happened.

When I was married, my ex and I would have these horried fights, and he would say terrible things, and then later he'd want (and get) sex and in the morning I'd just pretend like none of it had ever happened.

So I have this built in response to bad things which is "pretend like it doesn't matter. Pretend like you aren't hurt and everything will go back to "normal."" My therapist knows this, which is why I think he doesn't want it to go underground until I've talked about some of this and we understand it, at least a little. He wants me to express my hurt and learn that a relationship can survive me being truthful. It can even survive me being mad at him when he screws up. He is OK with me being mad. And even if we disagree about which one of us screwed up, he is OK with that too.

But it is very, very hard because I instantly tell myself that *I* am over-reacting and *I* have ruined everything. I feel so stupid - which just adds even more shame to it all. I know I should just move one but I'm pretty stuck right now.

Thanks for your reply.




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