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Re: any helpful websites for dissociation? B2chica

Posted by Solstice on January 5, 2011, at 15:35:19

In reply to Re: any helpful websites for dissociation? Solstice, posted by B2chica on January 5, 2011, at 7:48:20

> not sure solstice.
> i think they said something about grabbing the very cold kinda jerks your conscious into the here and now. maybe not quite the "pain" of the cold but something along those lines.

That is fascinating, and really does make sense - especially if it's caught early in the process. Now that you say that - I'm remembering something that happened to me. I've not had dissociation as far as losing time and what's thought of as a switch from one part to another where the dominant part is unaware of the others. I didn't realize that what how I experienced myself really was dissociation until I was told so by a therapist. Dis-integrated might be a good way to describe it. Anyway, early in my recovery I was in a therapy session and began re-experiencing trauma within that relationship. My whole sense of myself shifted into another 'state.' It was like inside myself, part of myself disappeared, and I ended up (inside myself) sitting in a different chair. It's a weird sensation, and Very difficult to describe. My whole 'reality' shifted. And I was terrorized. I was absolutely frozen & incoherent with fear. My therapist kept trying to work with it - but for me it was like he was talking to someone else, and it felt horrible to me. I was sitting, leaning forward with my head down and my forearms on my knees, with my hands clasped together. Because of my leaning forward, my wrists sort of faced up. Anyway, I was so internally dis-integrated that I was stuck in a state that nothing he said could reach or reason with. I remember him getting real quiet, and my being aware of him leaned back in his chair, his forefinger & thumb on his chin, studying me. Then, very suddenly he pushed back, rolling his chair up so close to me that we were nearly knee to knee. He quickly (but lightly) slapped my wrist and with deliberate gentleness, said my name. That was it. I was SO startled. But it's like it ripped me out of that state, brought back my more competent part, and I felt I was suddenly sitting back in the other chair that I'd earlier left (without ever moving a muscle - it was all internal). Neither of us said anything for a while, as I re-oriented. Before the session was over I was back to a more normal functioning capacity. We didn't discuss it, but I will never forget how powerful it was. It was the sudden slap on my wrist, and hearing my name. So maybe it's the 'startle' that pulls someone back if they start dissociating?





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poster:Solstice thread:975819