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Re: I saw my p-doc today emmanuel98

Posted by Dinah on December 31, 2010, at 7:52:11

In reply to I saw my p-doc today, posted by emmanuel98 on December 30, 2010, at 20:25:41

It's hard not to know what to expect, when someone else holds all the power. But then it's also hard to know what to expect. Once every month, once every two months, sometimes I think it just increases my focus on the relationship.

When do you find it's hardest? When you've just seen him, or when it's been some time since you've seen him? When I know I will be missing an appointment I feel worse just after my preceding one, and bad until the day when I would have gone to my next one. Then I absurdly feel better, since the time is only the time it would have been if I *had* gone to the appointment. Which leads me to believe that the pain of not seeing him is less, in me, than the pain of knowing I won't see him. It's the rationing that hurts, not the lack.

I'm overly analytical I suppose, but somehow it helps me to figure out the exact pattern so I can maybe do something about it. For example, when we go to cutting down on sessions, I think it would be easier for me to simply not go to sessions either by canceling a session or by simply not making the next appointment, than it would be to *plan* a schedule of not seeing him.

Do you think you and your pdoc could use the pattern of your hurting to ease the pain?

I hate having a relationship so one sided. Although perhaps all relationships seem one sided when they end.




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