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Re: starting new T search: T #1

Posted by pegasus on August 22, 2010, at 17:21:04

In reply to starting new T search: T #1, posted by pegasus on August 20, 2010, at 8:52:14

Dang it! I just wrote a whole response, and then lost my internet connection and the whole thing was tossed.

So, anyway, I thanked you all enthusiastically. I appreciate your support and insight!

I saw T #2 on Friday. There are many logistical things that are better about him than T #1. His office is in his home, which is 2 blocks from mine. His rates are much cheaper ($80 versus $120). And he has Saturday hours! But I think none of these are good reasons to choose him.

The energy between me and T #2 was cooler than with T #1. I'm not sure whether I like that or not. He is older (in his 60s). In some ways he reminds me of my dad. I could stand to work on some issues with my dad, who was never really available to me. He was a lot more revealing than T #2. I learned that he's been a Buddhist for many years, and has 2 grown children, and used to work at the local mental health center. All fine things, IMO. Apparently he does a lot of couples work, which is not something that I particularly need. It felt pretty comfortable to talk to him. I left the session thinking that I'd choose him over T #1.

But T #1 has been sticking in my mind more. I think there is something about how his reserved style and strict boundaries (no disclosure about anything, 45 minute sessions) would provoke me that is appealing. Maybe it just reminds me of how I'd often get angry at my first T, who eventually became a very powerful and healing attachment figure. Or maybe there's something I need to work on there.

T #2 has a social work background, which seems neither here nor there to me on paper. But maybe that accounts for his less "blank slate-ish" approach.

I think I'm hoping to find another T that has more warmth than T #1, and more energy between us than T #2. But if I don't, I'd probably go with T #2.

Thanks for reading!





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