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Re: when therapist lies tetrix

Posted by Daisym on July 2, 2010, at 13:57:14

In reply to when therapist lies, posted by tetrix on July 2, 2010, at 8:16:51

I'm so sorry for your pain - I imagine I'd be fairly devastated by something like this. Two things occur to me -

1) What was the reason for the lie? If it was something that she was embarrassed about or it was very personal, like her sexual orientation, etc., I might understand the impulse to lie more readily.

2)Did she lie to "everyone" or just you? If just you, what is it about your relationship that makes her think you wouldn't handle the truth or handle, "I'm choosing not to answer that" as a response? I tend not to think of lies of omission in this same category, btw.

Your feelings of betrayal are so valid and appropriate for this situation. You are trusting this person with your most intimate thoughts and feelings and confessing deeds in a way you would never do somewhere else. And while the standard for disclosure varies among therapists, I think most would agree that a lie is very destructive to the relationship. Because most of us think, "if she lied about this, what else did she lie about?"

Does she know you know she lied? I think if you are going to leave, you should at least give yourself the opportunity to say why. But I understand why that would be super hard.

Good luck with all of this.




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