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Re: terminated with T and unravelling deerock

Posted by violette on June 15, 2010, at 15:22:53

In reply to Re: terminated with T and unravelling violette, posted by deerock on June 15, 2010, at 10:53:37

Hi Deerock,

Yes-thanks for reminding me of your dilemma-now I recall your other post about therapy not "working". I can see why you are frustrated. Unfortunately, it often takes longer than 3 years...It takes a decade or 2 to develop the issues, naturally it can take a few years to find relief.

I think its wise you are exploring other therapies. If CBT doesn't work out, you could try DBT (some people swear by it), or even psychodynamic therapy, which is alot like analysis, but usually once per week. I've been in psychodynamic therapy for less than a year, but its been more helpful than 5 (intermittent over a decade) years of CBT. I think finding the right match for a T makes a huge difference too. Gender issues could affect your progress as well. I know I'm not the only one (I don't feel safe with female authority figures). My previous Ts were females because I had SA issues and thought it would be safer. I was wrong....

Aside: here's a funny that reminds me of my CBT experience:

Sometimes I wonder if CBT doesn't work for people who use intellectualizing and rationalizing to deal with inner pain, rather than those who use substances or other means? I've been doing that as since I was a child, and CBT reinforced that in me-it made me worse! It kept me from processing emotions and they continued to build inside. Maybe that is why it did not work well for me. It seems to help alot of other people--I hope you are one of them!

One of the major differences between CBT and psychoanalytically based therapies, I believe, is that PA is more about the relationship between you and your therapist and of course the transference. I have a childhood attachment issue from childhood neglect (among other things), so perhaps that's why PD therapy is more helpful for me? I'm also lucky to have found my T; only when I found him did I realize the others were not good matches for me for various reasons.

Maybe you could also consider a new psychoanalyst if your plan doesn't turn out as expected. I think anyone who feels therapy isn't working should try different Ts, orientations, and genders. Finding the right therapy/therapist is like medications-trial and error. Well all I can tell you is based upon my own experiences and knowing of some others. FYI, some researchers say that the relationship between you and T is more important than the Ts orientation (but I'm not so confident with mental health research because of the DSM issues).

I bet your previous T will help you derive your own conclusion rather than the new T who is providing advice to you. Take your time. Take 2 sessions if need be...I am sure you will trust yourself in making the right choice. Best of luck to you! :)




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