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Re: Intelligence and bonding in childhood abuse cases deerock

Posted by BabyToes on April 22, 2010, at 22:55:25

In reply to Re: Intelligence and bonding in childhood abuse cases, posted by deerock on April 22, 2010, at 20:28:23

> i dont think the helping witness has to be an adult.
> i had a lot of childhood friends who were really great and were really close to me.

It could be anyone at any age I think too. OR even a loving dog. I still love my dog is happy to see me when I wake up every morning or come home from school. :-)
>
> i also wonder though, when you describe, anyone on this list for that matter, being abused as a kid, was it all abuse, all the time? for me, my parents were brutal and violent and neglectful but they were also very loving at times.

For me, I lived in fear for my life most of my childhood and only felt safe when my dad was home. He was neglectful but he never physically hurt me compared to my mom. In fact my safe spot I used in trauma therapy, is a memory of being on the lake with my father.
>
> so maybe for me the occasional love was enough to help me to function at a somewhat normal level.

That is a good point, it must have gave you some strength and hope to "hang on" until things could feel better.

> if it was all abuse all the time im sure id still be hooked on drugs and all kindsa messy stuff. i might even be dead. but somehow, there is a spark to fight, to know that the pain isnt all their is and that something better can come about.

You knowing that the pain isn't all there is, is using your smarts as a child. I think some children have no outlet mentally or physically.
>
> i never had an adult or a teacher take me under their wing. all my teachers thought i was an animal. but all the kids loved me. i had tons of friends. that pulled me through i think.

I am happy to hear about that, I was too afraid to tell my friends. But I think their parents might have suspected it sometimes.
>
> also, in terms of turning to drugs, i think addiction is a bad scene but i think if i didnt become addicted, id be worse off. i think my addiction was a huge outlet. sure it got a little outta hand and caused some problems but without it, i dont think i would have had anywhere to turn when the heat was real high at home. but who knows. maybe if i didnt get wacked outta my head everday through college i'da been a scholar of some kind.
>
It was a form of escape, I am finding a lot of us had one form or another. Some cause more problems than others, but when in that situation, I think you just do what you know what to do as a child to cope. Thanks for your response, "the rock"
> the rock

 

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poster:BabyToes thread:944377
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20100405/msgs/944641.html