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Re: Dilemma in Therapy widget

Posted by Daisym on April 15, 2010, at 20:08:21

In reply to Re: Dilemma in Therapy, posted by widget on April 15, 2010, at 4:21:29

So, do you mean that other people have felt the pain and frustration and are trying to save someone from what they went through? Because I could understand that. It validates the depth of the relationship and all that goes with it.

But what I didn't say very well, was that I don't understand the intent of people who insist on lecturing about how the relationship is not real, or that it is only one-sided or that it would never work in the outside world. I always wonder if they really know what the therapy relationship feels like - and yes, how painful it can be. Telling someone they shouldn't feel like they feel, negates them.

And the other thing - not very many people I've met here really want to have an outside relationship with their therapist - there are wishes and fantasies, of course; but they are just that. Mostly, speaking for myself, I want people to understand that the deep attachment I have to my therapist is helping me heal. It is very real, it doesn't hurt him and it doesn't make me too dependent or infantilize me. (Ask me a different day and I'll worry about it hurting him but not today...)

I always over-react to this stuff because therapy is hard enough without someone telling you that your feelings are all wrong, your relationship is bogus, and you are a grown-up fool. We can drive our ownselves crazy with that - we don't need someone else adding to it.

 

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poster:Daisym thread:941668
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20100405/msgs/943517.html