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Re: Cycling down and I need my T

Posted by rnny on April 7, 2010, at 21:49:22

In reply to Re: Cycling down and I need my T, posted by Annierose on April 7, 2010, at 6:46:56

My old T used to be great at bringing me down if I was all worked up over something involving people. Usually some event where I had been or brought on myself being "under attack" and so forth. I would run to her like a child to the mother and she would have all the answers and make everything better. Boy, after she retired my life took a turn for the worse. I was flip flopping around for a year and a half and using poor judgement. I didn't have a solid influence or even someone with good judgement in my life life and it showed. I regressed! At my worst times I would think of things she would say to me to make my current crisis better but it wouldn't help that much. It only made me miss her more and I would get more angry that she retired. To be honest, the only thing that has helped is having a new T. My old T was in her 60's and this new T is as well. I like an "older" T because they seem wise and that is what I need. I have the intellect but I lack the emotional maturity. I get myself in all sorts of jams that a mature adult should be avoiding. I simply don't always know how to act in every day situations. For example kid checking out groceries and goofing around behind the register. I want to bawl him out yet I see others just ignoring him and not even noticing. When you do things like start bawling out the teen behind the register, others notice and you look like the one with the problem. So when you say you want your T, I understand. My old T by nature had good manners and I would copy her. My new T has some qualities that my old T had but not all. My old T was very pretty and was married to an MD well known in his field. They had a nice house here in NY and one in New England. And yet she was so down to earth. My new T isn't pretty and isn't married, she is divorced. All I can say is I know how you feel and I am sorry you got attacked at work. I got attacked by a neighbor the other day. Someone I had just lent my car to a few days before. I couldn't believe this person was acting out this kind of anger against me over something very minor. I was really despairing over it because I thought we were friends but now it is a good thing it happened because this person has acted not so nice to me at other times and I just looked the other way. Now I know this is not a person to seek out in terms of intimate friendship. Too short tempered. I wish I could reach into your world, right in the middle of it with a magic wand and go "bing" and then your whole world would get all pretty and soft and you would relax and life would be beautiful. You will get to the point where your T becomes someone sort of part of your past, but it takes a long time and I am not entirely over it myself and it is going on two years. I am still heartbroken she is gone but not desparing. I was in despair and would cry for a long time. Good for you for looking for another job. You are worth being treated with decency and respect. Gosh, when we find ourselves in situations where that is missing, then we know it is time to move on. I find I have a couple of scenarios in my life that I have to move on from due the toxic level. It is so good hearing from you again.




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