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Re: please rephrase that BabyToes

Posted by Dr. Bob on April 7, 2010, at 11:32:11

In reply to Re: please rephrase that) Dr. BOb emmanuel98, posted by BabyToes on April 6, 2010, at 22:20:58

> I really don't know how to rephrase that to your standards.

You already did! This was about others and I thought it could lead them to feel accused or put down:

> It bothers me to see those in long term therapy who really don't have serious issues to warrant long time therapy, because it seems to me they are using the therapy relationship as a substitute relationship because they are unable to have a real relationship in the real world.

because it suggests they shouldn't be in long-term therapy and aren't able to have real relationships. But this I thought was fine:

> I am actually talking about myself here since I have been in therapy a long time but with different therapists. I just don't believe in being with one therapist for years because I think the goal of therapy should be to be able to handle life with the support of family and friends more than with just a therapist. A therapist should be encouraging better real world relationships with the client.

because it's about yourself and what kind of therapy you want. Do you see the difference?

Here's another example:

> I wouldn't want to marry anyone that unstable any more than I would want a close friend. There are some individuals that shouldn't mix with other individuals.

That could lead others (people who are unstable) to feel put down (no one will want to marry them or be their friend and they shouldn't even mix with others). Could you please rephrase that?

> In real life you can't control how someone talks to you but you can control how to react to it. To me that would be more educational and would help build real people skills for real life.

You can also control how you talk to others, and being civil is a skill that can be applied in "real" life, too.

Bob


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poster:Dr. Bob thread:941860
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20100405/msgs/942628.html