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Re: long term therapy

Posted by BabyToes on April 6, 2010, at 17:11:43

In reply to long term therapy, posted by obsidian on April 6, 2010, at 15:53:50

> > > It bothers me to see those in long term therapy who really don't have serious issues to warrant long time therapy, because it seems to me they are using the therapy relationship as a substitute relationship because they are unable to have a real relationship in the real world. I know of a few people who don't have any friends but have been in therapy for years.
> you don't mean anyone here right?
> I'm going with the idea that you're not referring to anyone here.
> I think it's kind of hard to say what warrants long term therapy.
> I'd be curious to hear what other people think about the issue of long term therapy.
> for myself I'd say, I'm just not ready to stop. I think I still need some help. I've got a lot of good relationships, many because of therapy.

I am actually talking about myself here since I have been in therapy a long time but with different therapists. I just don't believe in being with one therapist for years because I think the goal of therapy should be to be able to handle life with the support of family and friends more than with just a therapist. A therapist should be encouraging better real world relationships with the client.

Maybe go back for a refresher now and then if needed but to go on and on for years, well I just don't see the value of that for myself. Why not take several months off or a year to see how one would do? Therapy is so expensive and it is very hard work. It is hard to maintain both of those for years. There come a point of diminishing returns.

The richer my life becomes the less I feel I need therapy for support. Isn't that the goal of therapy, to be able to be healthy enough to handle life's up and downs on your own or with the help of friends?

I just feel that it is unethical for T's to charge as much as they do, for just social chit chat for months and months. My first T did that and I barely worked on anything for 2 1/2 years and it just made me too independent on him for social needs.
My current T does not do that, we work hard, but she is always having me working on something, there are goals of being able to be independent. It just seems to me that if a client is working hard in therapy, they won't want to be in therapy for years. It is too exhausting. But by my T not trying to be my friend, it has made me look for that in my real life. I have found that T relationships are really not as fulfilling as real relationships and a good T would not let their clients totally depend on them for their social or supportive needs.

I have a friend who is in T and therapy is her highlight of her life. That one hour all week is her life and she has been with him for over 5 years. Life is just too short. I feel that a T should want their client to move on without them, it is a sign of good mental health to be able to live life without the needs of a professional every week. A good T should be teaching a client to handle life and to reach out to friends or family for help for minor things. Life will always have ups and downs, being in therapy won't let anyone escape that, no matter how mentally healthy someone is. But learning to deal with life is a skill that most T's should be teaching.

Now I know there are some cases where some do require a T every week to keep the out of the hospital, but I am not talking about those severe cases.

Another thing I have noticed too is that there is benefit in seeing different T's because one T can't help with everything or will see everything a client needs help on.

I just feel when therapy become too comfortable, or fun, that a client should move on either with a new T or on their own. Or at least try.

Therapy for me is hard work and exhausting mostly (there are some easier sessions especially with trauma work) I don't want to be in therapy forever, and have found that a good friend can help with most of my issues that come up in a week. Plus it is so much more satisfying. But the key is finding someone who is able to be a friend and maintain a friendship.





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