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Re: cyclical irrationality shame and Therapist Joes1964

Posted by Dinah on April 3, 2010, at 17:23:26

In reply to cyclical irrationality shame and Therapist, posted by Joes1964 on April 3, 2010, at 9:28:03

I really admire you for recognizing the cycle and determining to stop it. I think in the end it doesn't necessarily need to lead to detachment between you. It might even lead to greater closeness and intimacy of a therapeutic sort.

At any rate, if this style of relating to her isn't working, it's really smart of you to see that and try to change it.

I also admire you for not wanting to reflexively quit after what she said to you. At least, it would have hurt me an awful lot to hear it - even if I already know it.

Do you think if you mentioned things to her in session, in a respectful way of course, that you could learn something about conflict in a relationship? Like if you mentioned your feelings to her about her dress, in real time, and respectfully? Something like "This is awkward isn't it? I can see you're uncomfortable and frankly this is making me uncomfortable too."? Not ignoring it but trying to deal with it in real time?




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