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Re: Why do I need my therapist? Daisym

Posted by Raindancer on March 27, 2010, at 4:08:31

In reply to Why do I need my therapist?, posted by Daisym on March 4, 2010, at 22:22:41

Hi Daisy, Dinah and everyone, this is something I wrestle with too and it seems to be harder as time goes by. I see T about once every 3/4 weeks and after each session feel a real grief for several days, where the pain of loss is physical and I feel despair. After a few days, or a week or so (if a 4 week break), it becomes easier and I get on with my life, but my T is always a part of it and always in my thoughts. I tolerate it better than I did, probably because despite it all, I have 'grown'. I am now a T myself, and you would think it would be easier, but it just isn't. I have a terror that now I am much better T will stop caring - maybe lingering BPD, that fear of abandonment. Just lately I am 'losing' him after each session and there is just a void and it frightens me. I care for T very deeply, but even now, cannot often let myself think that T cares for me. I saw T yesterday, so there are three weeks and six days to go and after that, more of the same?

I can't thank you enough babblers, for just being there. There is no-one else in the wide world that I could tell this to. Warmest thoughts to you all.





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