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Re: I'm still waiting... floatingbridge

Posted by antigua3 on March 10, 2010, at 19:27:28

In reply to Re: I'm still waiting... antigua3, posted by floatingbridge on March 10, 2010, at 11:02:52

That certainly is nice of you to ask.

I'm still waiting. Don't know what's going on with my T, but we did make an agreement a while ago that I should make two efforts to contact her if I haven't heard back from her. Somehow or other I can't bring myself to make that call, but I will.

I saw my psychiatrist last night after about two months. It was uncomfortable and not necessarily helpful. I'm left with feeling such an unaccountable pain that can make me double over if I succumb to it.

It was just very painful to face who he is, what he can and cannot give me.

He couldn't remember things I'd said or written in the past and it was just an acute reminder of how long it has been.

Reestabling a connection won't be easy and I'm not sure I want to. Consistency will be important and I'll give it a month to see if we can make progress.

I re-read someone's post (sorry I don't remember who), but it mentioned feeling shame for feeling needy. That's what I feel like with my psychiatrist. Ashamed.

thanks for asking. I really appreciate it, and you've given me the nudge to call my T again. Maybe I'm afraid to call her because I'm really afraid she won't call back. No, she would; it would mean something was wrong and I'm not sure I could handle that, but I'll call.
thanks again,
antigua

 

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poster:antigua3 thread:937590
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20100303/msgs/939115.html