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Re: It's time for my Tuesday appointment. Daisym

Posted by Dinah on March 5, 2010, at 9:09:59

In reply to Re: It's time for my Tuesday appointment. Dinah, posted by Daisym on March 4, 2010, at 22:04:17

That may be a part of it. I also think what I was jogged to think about and wrote in your thread below is part of it.

Certainly we both think that the reason I still need therapy is that even though I have quit hating and deliberately silencing my emotional self, effectively the result is still the same. My natural tendency is to distance myself from my emotions and live mainly in my head. Which not only leads me to have to scream to have my emotions heard (with lots of bad behavior and feelings) but also I lose so much of the better part of myself. My therapist helps me keep in touch with all of me. So does Babble. Even cutting down is problematic, because a week is long enough to forget who he is and to forget who I am.

Maybe to some extent that's why I need to need him. Because needing him is what keeps part of me alive, in the sense of interacting with the world.

It might also have to do with the undoubted fact that I *like* to be a daughter. I like it and I'm good at it, and maybe needing is part of what it means to be a daughter. Of course in being a daughter (at least in my personal experience of it) the need is mutual. I sort of wish the need was mutual.




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