Psycho-Babble Psychology | about psychological treatments | Framed
This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | List of forums | Search | FAQ


Posted by onceupon on September 2, 2009, at 23:07:38

I've been seeing my current therapist for 2+ years. And throughout that time, I've struggled with wanting more from our relationship than I know it can possibly offer. I see her as a mother figure. Ever since I can remember (going back to adolescence), I've sought out surrogate mothers of sorts - in teachers, friends' parents, and therapists. In that same time, my relationship with my actual mother has cycled from hostile and conflicted (as a teenage girl) to cool and distant (as a young adult) to cordial and polite, but not at all "deep" (most recently).

It seems that I struggle *constantly* with wishing/longing/fantasizing about my therapist "mothering" or nurturing me - holding me, stroking my hair, soothing, reassuring, etc. And we've talked about it, a lot. Her general stance (I think) is that those kinds of feelings can be a natural part of therapy. She has tried valiantly to help me develop self-compassion. My stance on the whole thing is Shame with a capital S. At times I very nearly berate myself about it: Why do I want such a foolish thing? Why from someone who can't provide it? Why can't I get past this? I wish I didn't have these feelings. I WISH I DIDN'T WANT SO DAMNED MUCH!

I'm not entirely sure where I'm going with all of this, but it's been slowly building pressure in my head over the past few weeks. I've been stressed with a new job and new childcare situation, which I imagine are contributing to these feelings getting bigger.

I know she's my therapist. Nothing more, nothing less. But accepting that hurts like crazy sometimes.




Post a new follow-up

Your message only Include above post

Notify the administrators

They will then review this post with the posting guidelines in mind.

To contact them about something other than this post, please use this form instead.


Start a new thread

Google www
Search options and examples
[amazon] for

This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | FAQ
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:onceupon thread:915522